Father Goose Page #2

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did you say...

- Hard a port, son.

- Aye-aye, sir.

Coxswain, hard a port.

Hey! Hold it, hold it!

Are you crazy?

Look out, look out, Frank!

Do you hear me?

Hard a starboard! Frank!

Watch out!

Are you gone nuts? Look out!

Frank, can you hear me?

Hard a starboard, you

ignorant, silly son of a...

Oh great, have you lost your mind?

Look at my boat!

Terribly sorry, Walter. Our

steering must have jammed.

I'm sorry.

If you didn't know how to work one

of those, why didn't you say so?

- I'm sorry.

- Oh, stop saying that. Look at my boat.

- What am I gonna do now?

- Become a coastwatcher, I expect.

Lucky we put all those

supplies ashore.

Oh, Walter. We'll stand by

until you get safely in.

Frank, I'll sue ya! I'll sue!

I'll sue the entire war!

Quite right, Walter.

I'll be your witness.

Oh, and Walter. Thanks

for volunteering.

Oh come on. Buzz off.

- Mother Goose?

- Frank!

- I knew you wouldn't leave me here!

- This is the Big Bad Wolf.

Go away.

I know you're saying

something, Mother Goose,

but I can't hear you.

You've got to flip the key.

- I said go away.

- You're still not coming through.

There's a button on

the microphone,

you have to press it down

while you're speaking.

Can you hear me now?

That's better. You'll find

some charts there, Walter,

identifying enemy ships and aircraft.

Study them, will you?

Have you seen anything yet?

Any planes or ships?

- Yeah, some planes.

- Ours or theirs?

Kind of depends which side

you're on, doesn't it?

Walter, news has just

come through that

the Japanese took

Singapore this morning.

Frank, what keeps them from

taking Walter Eckland?

We've 32 spotters spread

over 3,000 islands.

So you see the odds are in our

favour that you'll never be found.

Our favour? You're not stuck out

in the middle of nowhere, I am.

- Now when do I get off?

- As soon as we've found a replacement.

Meantime, be good enough

to keep in touch, Walter.

Oh, and I am sorry about your boat.

I really am.

Is Big Bad Wolf really sorry?

Because if he is,

Big Bad Wolf and Little Bo Peep

can do something for Mother Goose.

They can go...

I don't really

blame him, do you?

I can't see what we've accomplished.

I don't think he'll report in.

You can lead a horse to water,

but can you make it drink?

When he gets thirsty enough,

he'll drink, Stebbings.

He'll drink.

Frank, can you hear me?

Frank?

- Loud and clear. What is it?

- Where'd those men put the whiskey?

I've looked all over this dump.

Did they keep it for themselves?

Seamen of His Majesty's Navy?

You must be joking.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where is it?

Well, I can imagine

how dull it must get

for someone left all alone on

a small island, so I decided...

All right.

Get to the bad news.

I decided to liven things up a bit by

making a fun and game thing out of it.

What sort of fun and games?

I had my men hide all the

bottles around the island.

In very unlikely places. You'd

never find them by yourself.

The ground rules are simple.

You report an enemy ship

or plane movement

and I tell you where the bottles are.

One report, one bottle.

Hold it a minute, Frank. I hear

a flight going over right now.

Just a minute while

I get binoculars.

Oh yes. There's six, seven,

eight of them heading south.

They're... Nakajima 97s.

But just a minute while I

verify that on the chart.

Walter, there is another

rule attached to this.

It has to be a confirmed report.

- Confirmed how?

- By other spotters along the line.

Now just tell me what all those

planes were that you saw.

Frank? Frank. Frank.

Frank, wake up, Frank.

Frank?

Briar Patch here, Mother Goose.

Bo Peep speaking.

- Briar Patch? That's a new one, isn't it?

- We've moved.

- Are you at Kings Point already?

- Listen, you must use the code names.

If you don't like it, fire me.

Now, get Houghton.

- The regulations...

- Frank here, Walter.

- Mother Goose, sir.

- What's new?

Five Mitsubishi light bombers at

around 10,000, headed southwest.

- Southwest at 10 thou.

- Yeah.

Got it, Sport. Thanks!

Hold on now! Wait a minute.

Whoa!

Fun and game time. I played

the game, how about the fun?

Confirmed, Walter, remember?

- But Frank, I swear!

- Then you've nothing to worry about.

Sit tight, Mother Goose.

Sit tight, sit tight...

Briar Patch here. Are you

there, Mother Goose?

I'm here, Frank. I'm

here, I'm here.

We've just received news that

your report has been confirmed.

Congratulations.

Never mind the congratulations.

Where is it?

Proceed 50 yards east

northeast to a large rock.

Then 20 yards due east

to a coconut palm.

Not so fast, not so fast.

Wait a minute.

20 yards due east

to a coconut palm.

Sir?

Sorry to disturb you at this hour, sir,

but we've heard from Humpty Dumpty.

Oh come on, Stebbings. You can tell me.

Who's Humpty Dumpty?

Perry on Bundi Island.

He reports enemy landings

here on this fare,

here and here on Greater and Lesser

Samengo, and here on Prince Consort.

They've ringed him

in pretty well.

He says they don't know that he's there

yet, but expects someone any time now.

Well, Combat can't spare a thing. All

our planes and ships are committed.

Who's our nearest man?

I'm afraid... he is, sir.

Briar Patch calling Mother Goose.

Come in, Mother Goose.

Briar Patch calling Mother Goose.

Come in, Mother Goose.

Do you read me, Mother Goose?

This is Briar Patch.

Do you read me, Mother Goose?

Yes, yes. I read you. What's worse

is I can hear you. What do you want?

Walter, I haven't been sleeping too

well because I've treated you so badly

- so I'm gonna make it up to you.

- Whatever it is, the answer is no.

I don't blame you, sport.

I don't blame you at all.

I'm not listening, Frank.

But supposing I got someone

to repair your boat for you.

- I'm listening, Frank.

- And after it's repaired,

to stay on there as

your replacement.

- Who is he?

- Malcolm Perry, one of our regulars.

- When can he be here?

- Tonight too soon?

No, Frank, tonight's just fine.

Just fine.

There's just one small thing.

- Uh-oh.

- He can't get to you, you must fetch him.

- From where, Frank?

- Bundi Island.

Bundi? How do you suggest

I get there, Frank?

That launch of yours has

a dinghy, doesn't it?

All those miles of open sea and

back again in a seven-foot dink?

You're nuts!

Shall I call him back, sir?

Frank?

Yes, Walter?

Suppose I could make it to Bundi, where

would I put in, the south jetty?

That's right. Only be careful.

There's a pretty fair moon tonight.

You got some special reason

for telling me that?

No, no, no. Only it'd be

better without a moon.

Why, Frank?

Well, Bundi's liable

to be occupied.

- With what, Frank?

- I didn't say it would be.

- Frank?

- Yes, Walter?

Kiss my foot, Frank.

If he leaves within the hour, he

should make Bundi just after dark.

But sir, you heard what he said.

He won't go to Bundi.

Frank!

Yes, Walter.

All those miles of open sea, a man

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