Father Goose Page #8

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- Shut up.

- Well, since it's here, I'll, er...

- There's already a beverage on the table.

- Yes? What?

- Coconut milk.

You're kidding.

Well, it happens to be very

tasty and quite healthful.

Oh, I'm sure it is.

Ah-ah-ah. Mr Eckland?

Delicious. Coconut milk.

Young coconuts must love it.

Get back! Get back!

Come on. Let's get

back in the shack.

I... I... I hurt my ankle when you...

when I fell.

Get up. Let's see.

Put your weight on it.

That's not too bad.

All right.

That's fine.

This is Eckland. Get Houghton.

Stand by, Mother Goose.

- Yes, Walter. What is it?

- A plane, Frank. He dove at us.

- Go on.

- Go on where? He spotted us.

And now you'd like me to

take you off the island.

- Naturally.

- Really. You never give up, do you?

All right, tell

me what happened.

I've already told you, a

Japanese plane flew over.

- What kind?

- I don't know what kind.

Well, that's what you're

there for, isn't it?

Really, Walter, planes are

supposed to fly over.

We wouldn't need you where planes

didn't fly over, would we?

Now, just because one

gets a little close.

A little close? Now you listen to me,

Frank, you get us out of here by tonight.

I really don't think it'll

be tonight, Walter.

Thanks a lot. I won't need you

when I get the launch ready.

Walter, I'd forget about

the launch if I were you.

You're completely ringed in there which

means you can only travel by night

in a boat which you

can't be too sure of.

Even if you could break

through, which I doubt,

Port Moresby's the only place open

and that's over 200 miles away.

Then do something.

Walter...

I have 32 men in precisely

the same position you're in.

How is it that I spend most

of my time listening to you?

Now be a good chap and relax.

Signing off.

The fathead.

I'll be down at the launch.

Mr Eckland?

Oh, I thought your ankle

was bothering you.

Oh! Well, it's feeling much

better now, thank you.

Fine.

I wanted to thank you.

For saving my life, I mean.

I behaved quite stupidly.

- Can you forgive me?

- Sure.

I wouldn't want you to think badly of me.

Do you think badly of me?

- No.

- I don't think badly of you either.

- Good for you.

- Mr Eckland?

You can kiss me if you want.

I may?

Oh, my darling. I have thought of

nothing else since that moment we met.

This first burning kiss

is but the beginning.

Tonight you will leave those children

and come live with me on my boat.

What are you doing?

Of course, how thoughtless of me.

We must be careful.

What time can I

expect you tonight?

But mademoiselle doesn't

let us out at night.

Oh well.

Mr Eckland, have you

been listening to me?

How can I help it with

you screaming in my ear?

Because you've been talking

total nonsense as usual.

It's quite clear you know nothing

whatsoever about children.

- You're an expert, of course.

- Well, I know one thing.

- Elizabeth is at that...

- Wait a minute. Hand me those pliers.

- Which ones?

- The small ones.

Thank you. Now what

were you saying?

Elizabeth is at that difficult

age and you frightened her.

Yeah, well, I'm at a difficult age myself.

She nearly scared me to death.

How about teaching them the facts of

life, or aren't you up on the subject?

I wouldn't exactly call them backward, not

the way they were watching during lunch.

Watching what?

It works.

Course it works. Now what were

they watching during lunch?

They were watching us.

- Watching us what?

- Watching us watch each other.

- So we watched each other. So what?

- Well, they're not blind, you know.

What do they think watching

is, a proposal of marriage?

Whoever said anything about...

Just because a man puts on

socks and comes to lunch?

If you think I'd

want to get involved

with an undisciplined, self-

indulgent escapist like you.

Well, that's better

than being a frustrated

spinster who can't

find a husband.

It's Matalava, sir.

Mother Goose is

requesting a chaplain.

A chaplin? Good heavens,

he's killed her.

No, sir. They want

to get married.

Married?

Goody Two Shoes and

the Filthy Beast?

What's taking him so long?

He's had enough time to get

the Archbishop of Canterbury.

Oh, Mr Eckland, really.

Oh, stop calling me Mr Eckland,

it sounds ridiculous.

Walter? Are you ready, Walter?

Just a minute, Frank.

Here. Use my tie.

Oh, thank you, Harri, but

ties don't suit Mr Eckland.

Well, have you got

the chaplain, Frank?

Yes, he's here. There's a

little paperwork, Walter.

Bride's full name.

Catherine... Louise... Marie...

Ernestine Freneau.

Groom's full name.

Walter Christopher Eckland.

Witnesses. Who's the

maid of honour?

Erm... Elizabeth Anderson.

And the best man?

- Harri MacGregor.

- Harri?

Just believe me.

Proceed, padre.

Thank you.

Now. Is everyone ready?

Yes, padre.

Dearly beloved. We

are gathered here,

and... there, in the

presence of these witnesses

to join together this

man and this woman

in the bonds of holy matrimony

which is an honourable

estate, instituted of God.

Into this holy estate, these two

persons come now to be joined...

Duck! Down! Quickly!

If there be any present...

who know any just cause

why they may not

lawfully be joined

in marriage, I require him now

...to make it known or ever

after to hold his peace.

Anything there?

Good. Now, then.

Do you, Walter

Christopher Eckland,

take this woman to be

your lawful wedded wife?

To love and to cherish...

...to have and to hold,

so long as you both shall live?

Mr Eckland?

Do you, Walter

Christopher Eckland...

- Walter!

- Stay there!

...to be your

lawful wedded wife?

- Hold it, padre. Hold it.

- Mr Eckland, do you...

I do, I do!

Get Houghton, quick.

What is it, Walter?

They came back, Frank.

I told you they would.

Who came back?

You know who.

Now listen.

Did you hear that?

Yes, I'll get onto it right away.

Stand by.

I want the name and exact position

of every Allied submarine

within 12 hours running distance

between here and Matalava.

- Now get onto it right away.

- Aye-aye, sir.

Walter?

- I told you to stay where you were.

- The plane's gone.

I was afraid I was a widow

before we were even married.

Er... Mr Eckland?

What should we do now?

Well, all right, we'll take another

whack at it if you will, padre.

- So take your time, but hurry it up.

- Yes, yes, of course. I understand.

Let me see now.

Do you, Walter Christopher

Eckland, take this woman...

- We did that part, padre.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm a little rattled.

Let me see here.

All right, then. Do you, Catherine

Louise Marie Ernestine Freneau,

take this man to be your

lawful wedded husband,

to love and to cherish, to have and to

hold, for as long as you both shall live?

I do.

For as much as you have consented

together in holy wedlock,

and have given and received a

ring in token of your troth...

- Wait a minute, what ring?

- Didn't we do the ring?

- No, we didn't do the ring.

- We'll have to do the ring.

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