Father of the Bride Page #3

NINA:

Oh, honey!

ANNIE:

Mom!

BRIAN:

That's okay Mr. Banks, we don't have to hug.

GEORGE:

Well...um...maybe later.

NINA:

Well that was just a...that was just about the best thing I ever heard

anybody say!

BRIAN:

Well, I meant it.

NINA:

Good.

ANNIE:

Listen, I want to take Brian out for a drive and show him around San

Marino.

NINA:

Okay, honey. Good.

GEORGE:

Annie, it's a little nippy out. You might want to put on a sweater.

ANNIE:

Oh, Dad, it's okay. I'm kind of warm.

GEORGE:

Still, there's a chill in the air and you've been on a plane.

ANNIE:

Dad, I'm fine.

BRIAN:

Annie, it is kinda cold out.

ANNIE:

It is?

BRIAN:

Yeah.

ANNIE:

All right. Thanks. I'll get my jacket.

GEORGE:

(VO)

Right then I realized, my day had passed. She'll always love me, of

course, but not in the same way. I was no longer the man in my little

girl's life. I was like an old shoe. The kind we manufacture and get

all excited about, then after a few years discontinue. That was me

now. Mr. Discontinued.

ANNIE:

Mom? Don't wait up, okay? We might stop for a capuccino.

NINA:

Oh, okay fine. Well, good night, Brian.

BRIAN:

Good night. Good night, Mr. Banks.

ANNIE:

Oh, you can call him George. Or Dad!

GEORGE:

George will be fine.

BRIAN:

Okay. I'll say it next time I see you.

GEORGE:

Drive carefully. And don't forget to fasten your condom.

ANNIE:

Dad!

GEORGE:

Seat belt! I meant...I meant seat belt.

NINA:

Honey, I'm putting your father to bed. This has been a very big night

for him.

GEORGE:

Bye.

NINA:

Good night. Have fun.

GEORGE:

Bye.

NINA:

Bye-bye! Have fun!

SCENE 9

NINA:

This is a great kid.

GEORGE:

It'll never last.

NINA:

Wanna bet?

GEORGE:

Nina. Annie's much too spirited for this kid. He's totally wrong for

her. I give it two months, tops. One month.

NINA:

This is the right guy for Annie, George. I'm tellin' you, I feel it in

my bones. I mean, we're two lucky parents, George.

GEORGE:

Lucky? Oh! What about his laugh? It was such a give away. It was so

phony with his "Ha! Ha! Ha! Hee! Hee! Hee!"

NINA:

I thought it was totally sincere.

GEORGE:

Oh, please. What about that little rehearsed speech he gave that was

right out of a book. "How to Grease Your Future Mother-In-Law."

NINA:

You're off here, George, really. I thought it was completely from his

heart. Why do you think I cried?

GEORGE:

Good question. I don't know why either of you cried. I'm losing my

voice. Are my glands swollen?

NINA:

Let me see. No. No, honey. No.

GEORGE:

And what about the way he kept touching her?

NINA:

What do you mean?

GEORGE:

What do you mean, what do I mean? He couldn't keep his hands off of

her.

NINA:

Oh, yes...kind of like when we were engaged, except that wasn't all you

couldn't keep off me.

GEORGE:

That was different. And we certainly never acted that way in your

parent's house.

NINA:

Oh! You want me to name all the rooms we did it in at my parent's

house?

GEORGE:

That was different. We were like two imbeciles. This is our child

we're talking about.

NINA:

Our child? Oh, George. You know, I still think you see Annie as a

seven year-old girl in pigtails!

GEORGE:

Well, you know? That just shows how you much you know about me because

that is not at all how I see her. Right...a seven year-old with

pigtails. I mean, here's the thing. We have no idea who this Brian

really is.

NINA:

Oh?

GEORGE:

And if that's his real name. I mean, who knows? You know, maybe he

already has a wife. You read about these cases everyday. Men who have

wives and families stashed all across the country. He could be a

professional con artist who meets innocents abroad, and gives them this

song and dance about being an independent...whatever that was...and

then skips out after bilking them for all they're worth. What are you

doing?

NINA:

I'm getting ready for bed.

GEORGE:

Then I suppose that you're not interested that I believe I remember

seeing someone who looked like Brian's twin on "America's Most Wanted"?

NINA:

You're right. I'm not. George? George, I thought he was great. I

liked him a lot. And I'm really happy...George...Would you please stop

making that face? And I'm very happy for Annie. And I'm excited for

her. This is a big deal and I think that we should at least hug. This

is great news. Oh! A wedding! Father of the Bride. Can you believe

it?

SCENE 10

GEORGE:

(VO)

Forty-eight hours later, the wedding was still on. We were on our way

to Bel- Air to meet Brian's folks.

GEORGE:

I don't know why we have to have brunch with total strangers.

NINA:

Because their son is marrying our daughter and it's not an unusual

custom meeting the in-laws.

GEORGE:

You know, that's another thing. I hate that expression, "in-laws."

What does it mean, anyway? We're legally bound to these people? I

don't want to be "in-lawed." Especially to people who live in Bel-Air.

I mean, what kind of people have brunch and live in Bel-Air?

NINA:

Rich people.

GEORGE:

They probably live in the one shack in the middle of all these

mansions.

NINA:

Nice mood, George.

GEORGE:

What? I'm in a good mood.

NINA:

Okay, I think this is it. Yeah...Nice shack, babe.

GEORGE:

Worse. It's the biggest house on the street. Now we're related to

pretentious snobs. Just what we need.

NINA:

You look very handsome, George. Way too young to be "in-lawed."

GEORGE:

Well, it really shouldn't matter how I look. We're not here to win

their approval. Just because you changed your outfit five times.

NINA:

Oh, and you didn't try on nine different shirts?

GEORGE:

Two.

NINA:

Two? I see.

GEORGE:

Two long sleeve and two short sleeve.

JOHN &

JOANNA:

Hi! Nice to meet you. I'm John...I'm Joanna. Welcome to our house.

Come on in, please.

SCENE 11

GEORGE:

(VO)

All I could think about was the size of this place. We could have

parked our whole house in the foyer.

JOHN:

Oh, what a nerve-wracking thing, meeting your future in-laws. What a

relief. You two look perfectly normal.

NINA:

Oh, well, I am.

JOANNA:

I have to tell you, we got so nervous about today, about meeting the

two of you, I must have tried on three different outfits.

NINA:

Oh?

JOHN:

I changed my shirt four times. Can you imagine anyone being that

jerky?

JOANNA:

So come on in. I thought we could have lunch in here.

JOHN:

Marta, estas son nuestras in-laws. George and Nina Banks.

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