Fausto 5.0

Doctor.

No!

Doctor.

I thought I wouldn't make it.

Your briefcase.

You left it on your desk.

- Are Renol's papers here?

- Yes.

Don't forget tonight's dinner party.

The class at the University

is tomorrow at 11.

The lecture's in the afternoon.

Please keep warm, and rest.

If there's anything you need...

I'm okay.

Doctor!

I wanted to tell you that...

you have nothing to worry about.

I know you don't like to

leave your office unattended.

It's not unattended.

Can I help you?

- Do I know you?

- I don't think so.

All old passengers look alike.

Are you going to the convention?

You too?

I'm going to a party!

Where were you?

In the cafeteria.

Were you drinking?

You stink!

Would you hold this?

I'm going to the bathroom.

I'll be right back.

Are you sure there's no one else?

I'm sure.

She couldn't leave without her case.

I've checked each and every car.

And the washrooms?

- Maybe something happened to her.

- Check the cafeteria.

Your mother may be

waiting for you there.

- No, she's not my mother.

- Then why worry so much?

I'm sorry.

Doctor?

Dr. Fausto?

Do I know you?

Dr. Fausto, it's you.

What a pleasure!

You don't remember?

You don't remember me?

Well, you should.

You removed my stomach.

Santos.

Santos Vella.

At El Provincial, 8 years ago.

Pancreatic cancer.

A mixed tumor, with complications.

No?

Without the oxygen mask...

- Did I attend to you?

- You said I was terminal.

We had a rather intense relationship.

But you operated 5 times first.

The last time, to show some

students an irreversible process.

- It seems I was wrong.

- It seems.

You said 3 months,

and it's been 8 years.

Don't apologize.

These things happen.

- I'm not.

- As I said, these things happen.

My stomach?

- What?

- My stomach.

- Your stomach?

- Yes. Did you keep it?

- What for?

- What became of it?

They threw it away, I guess.

In the garbage?

That's not too cool.

You want us to keep it after 8 years?

Of course not.

I'd like to have seen it.

I'm sure it didn't look too good.

How'd you do it?

- What?

- This.

Live.

Staying away from hospitals.

When I see one,

I cross the street.

I forgot my card.

Santos, Santos Vella.

- It's pronounced with one "I".

- Vel-la.

No, Vella, like mozzarella.

- Vella.

- Vella.

Doctor!

Doctor!

Where are you staying?

Don't tell me.

At the National.

- You're here for the convention.

- Of course.

- I'll drive you.

- No, I'll take a cab.

No problem.

I have to go somewhere else first.

I'll drive you.

It's nice to see you, doctor.

- My stomach...

- F***, no!

I'd rather go alone.

Great.

Great.

When I get to a new city,

I like to discover it alone too.

We're grown-ups.

Anything you need,

you've got my card.

You got a problem,

you call me. Okay?

Sure.

You swear?

No, I believe you.

It's a pleasure to see you,

doctor.

And thanks for everything.

He's a great guy, lady.

No sweat!

F***!

- To the National Hotel, please.

- Right away.

Doesn't that sound strange?

What?

The car.

Not at all.

It's as strong as a bull.

Over 20 years without

a breakdown.

Son of a b*tch!

Damn son of a b*tch!

Got a problem?

A bull?

It's more like a cow!

What's it about?

The convention.

- Terminal medicine.

- Terminal medicine?

That's going to be fun.

I'm gonna f*** your father,

and I'm late!

Well, what then?

You have to go somewhere first?

- I'll go later.

- You sure?

Yes.

It was a lie, right?

You say that to get rid of me.

Admit it.

Admit it.

- All right, I admit it.

- Great.

Great.

I catch on to everything.

I've gotten smart.

Really, I've studied.

I pay attention to the things I should.

You see...

If someone tells you

you're going to die...

you change.

You think:
What do I do

with the little time I got left?

You do 4 important things.

This, this and this.

The rest is just sh*t, man.

It's not worth it.

- That's why I owe you.

- Forget it.

No, no, no. I owe you one.

So...

tell me what you want.

I'll take care of it.

- Don't bother.

- It's no bother.

It's no bother.

Doctor...

I want to make you happy.

- What have you got there?

- I don't know. It's not mine.

Did you steal it?

Me? Please.

Someone left it on the train...

- You haven't opened it?

- No.

F***! That is admirable.

Fausto, Fausto...

Well, here we are.

I'll take that case to the station.

No, thanks,

someone at the hotel can...

I'll take care of it.

No problem.

Besides,

someone there owes me a favor.

Fausto, how nice to see you.

How are you?

We were betting

on whether you'd come or not.

- Has Quiroga arrived?

- He should have this morning.

Hi, good evening.

Santos Vella. It's a pleasure.

My pleasure.

Vella, pronounced with one "I".

Like mozzarella.

You know the doctor?

Of course.

Me too.

He removed my stomach.

That was a long time ago.

Forget it, man.

You're here for the convention?

Yes.

To talk about your

little tumors and things.

Thank you very much.

He's getting rid of me.

It's a pleasure.

Anything you need, call.

You want a girl?

- I don't understand.

- Man, what a joker!

I don't know him.

He's a patient.

My brother-in-law

went to a specialist and asked:

"Doctor, how long have

I get left to live?"

And you know what

the guy told him?

"That depends.

When will you pay my bill?"

Why must we wash?

Do butchers wash?

Who says they haven't jerked off

before cutting up a sirloin steak?

Although they're butchers...

they jerk off, don't they?

What do you say, Fausto?

"Sagittarius, Capricorn?"

"No, son, what I said was Cancer. "

Cancer, cancer. "

You don't need to be a butcher

to know if they jerk off.

She's Daisy, my assistant.

I've heard that before.

Me too, and I saw it.

The Frenchman, for example,

at the Provincial.

Before each operation.

- Really?

- I swear.

And if he operated 3 times,

They call the doctor

"the gardener".

- You know why?

- No.

Because he works with plants.

Terminal cases.

When we don't know

what to do with someone...

we send them to him

to see what he invents.

You've all ordered mushrooms.

You don't understand him.

What he'd like is to see

all his patients alive.

Who wouldn't?

We should close the greenhouse.

It's useless.

I don't even know if it's

legal to have all those...

people there.

It's a research center.

We research medicine

to be used in the first phases.

That's fine.

But I wouldn't like

to be in your shoes.

How many patients die a year?

How many this year?

When you get to a thousand,

you'll win a prize!

Never trust a dermatologist.

They skin people alive.

There'll be broads too.

Sh*t, Bielsa.

They're in coma.

And, so what?

You should see them at the morgue,

with the female corpses.

That's different.

They're dead.

Like Daisy.

and still thinks...

a practitioner

is a churchgoer.

Excuse me.

Is there a doctor in the house?

Please!

Continue administering Codeine...

only until Thursday...

and then give him antibiotics.

His temperature's down to 37.8.

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