Favor Page #5

It's okay. There's nothing wrong with a little enthusiasm.

Let me guess, Cole.

Somebody gave you advice one time on applying for jobs.

They said, uh, "look 'em square in the eye

and give 'em a nice, firm handshake

something like that?

Yeah. Yes, sir. Yes.

Yeah. That person, Cole, is an idiot.

Don't listen to them anymore.

But that's all right. I'm not gonna hold it against you.

Have a seat, huh?

-Interview day. -Interview day.

Let me ask you a question.

Do you think I was ever that nervous?

Would you admit it if you were?

Absolutely not.

So, our boy Cole here, he's first up?

Yep.

And he's early. Sorry about that.

They're all gonna be early.

Just give me five minutes,

and we'll get this show on the road, okay?

Should I hit you with some coffee?

Like a heavyweight.

Morning, kipper.

A few things shifted in the schedules,

wow. You're like a ninja.

Did you know that he was in...

No, I had no idea. I'm so sorry.

Is this a bad time?

You know what? It's fine.

Why don't you just give us five minutes, huh?

You sure?

Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. It's okay. Five minutes.

Is everything okay, Marvin?

Sure.

I mean, I...Could complain, but who'd listen, right?

You can't just come in here like this.

Well, I asked if this was a bad time.

It is a bad time. It's...It's inappropriate.

All right.

I do apologize.

What can I do for you, Marvin? What brings you here?

Well...I heard you were hiring,

so, buddy, I thought I'd take a crack at that job.

Excuse me?

Now, I know I might not be the exact right peg

for this particular hole,

but I thought if I just let you know that I was interested,

maybe you could see your way to giving me a shot.

You know how much a job like this could turn my life around.

Plus, this would be great, you and I working together,

don't you think?

You're serious?

Sure. I mean, why not?

You're not qualified.

Um, you worked for a book company, right?

Honestly, I don't even know what it was you did there.

I was the shipping manager.

It was a scholastic book company.

You shipped books.

Scholastic.

This is a job for a creative assistant, you know.

I need someone who's familiar with ad-agency workflow.

I need someone who knows the formats

of artistic presentations based on industry standards.

I can learn formats.

I need someone who can create content,

who can write copy.

Ohh. Those are just ideas, man.

Ideas, I've got.

Marvin. Marvin.

This is a job for recent graduates

with a degree in marketing or advertising.

It's a job for young people.

Well, I'm not exactly ancient here.

You're almost 40 goddamn years old!

Hey. Hey, hey.

I never said I was a slam dunk for this thing.

That's why they call it a favor.

Look, I need a job. You got one to give.

You're supposed to be my friend here.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

This is not the job for you.

It's just not, and I need you to understand that.

Okay.

Is that what I think it is?

It sure is.

You kept her license.

I kept her whole purse, keys and all.

Why? Why would you do that?

So I could get her cat.

Yeah. I kept vanilla, too.

Vanilla.

Sure.

Well, that's very humane of you.

But why do you still have that?

I don't know.

In case I need it.

Need it for what?

A rainy day, I guess.

You know what gets me in my gut?

The fact that the fate of this woman

doesn't bother you at all.

It bothers me. I assure you that it bothers me.

Really? Yeah, well I don't see that.

What I do see is you kissing your wife.

I see you playing God here at the office.

I see you lining up "miss shake and wiggle"

as your next little diversion,

but what I don't see is the fate of poor Abigail weighing on you.

It weighs on me.

It weighs on me hard.

She's in every room I go into.

She's here with us... Right now.

I see her,

and my conscience screams at me.

But I manage.

I manage to keep it bottled up and keep my mouth shut.

And I do all of that...

...because I think that you're my friend.

Now, you are my friend, right?

Yep.

Yeah.

Then you best keep me believing it.

Now...I need a job,

and you got one to give.

So, you tell me, kipper...

What would a friend do?

It's "just lunch dot com."

I'm just saying, let's make it a sexy lunch.

Sexy.

But not too sexy,

just focusing on the more physical aspects of dating,

you know, dancing in clubs,

skimpy outfits on the beach,

music-driven romantic, but with a more sexual edge.

Sexual.

And then we end on the sunset imagery.

-And all is well. -A sunset.

Not exactly reinventing the wheel, are we?

Uh, yeah. I think I can sell that.

Oh, really, boss man? You can sell sex?

Congratulations.

I'll call tmz for the exclusive right now.

You know, let he who has a better idea

cast the first stone, okay? How about that?

Lock it up, and we'll meet tomorrow.

Well, I-I have an idea.

And I think it's a pretty good one, too.

Yeah. Okay.

This should be good, new guy.

Let's hear it, new guy.

Well, all right.

Um, I was just thinking that these dating websites

are mostly used by desperate, middle-aged women,

you know, the ones that are all bitter and worried

about their biological clocks and whatnot.

You know the type,

those stuck-up a**hole chicks your wife knows a ton of.

Where's he going with this?

Shut up, Ben. It's just getting good.

No, go on.

Well, I just think if you want

all these chicks to sign up for this,

what you go to do then is scare them

into thinking what'll happen if they don't.

Guys. Guys.

What?

Did I strike gold here or what?

Man, no. No, no, no, no.

Basic principle of advertising,

stay positive.

Positive product, positive users,

especially when you're selling recreational products.

You pitch fear and negativity, we're dead in the water.

Forget that. Did you even read the brief?

We already get women 30 to 55.

We're trying to go younger.

Eyes on the demographic prize, dude.

Where's this guy from, boss man?

Meeting's over.

Why would you do that?

Are you kidding me?

What would possess you to do that?

Maybe I'm just trying to be a nice guy or something.

You already gave him money, kip.

You had me pimp him out to my friends.

What more are you expected to do?

And why are you expected to do any of this in the first place?

Who is this guy to you?

He's an old friend, Claire.

And that qualifies him to work in advertising.

How's that working out for you, pal?

This guy struggles with personal hygiene.

Look! I ...

maybe I'm just growing a conscience

about this whole thing.

You're not really a conscience kind of guy, kip.

Man, look at this.

We can't use this, can we?

This is Marvin's work?

Of course it's Marvin's work.

It's stapled, and he misspelled "your" on the cover.

Okay, okay. I get it. He's clearly not up to speed.

I mean, why did you have him format it?

Why? Why? Because he's the assistant.

What, we're not supposed to ask

the low guy on the totem pole to do the grunt work here now?

These tests are sort of the nature of the job.

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