Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas Page #15

HIGHWAY PATROLMAN

You realize...

DUKE:

Yeah. I know. I'm guilty. I

understand that. I knew it was a

crime but I did it anyway. Sh*t,

why argue? I'm a f***ing criminal.

HIGHWAY PATROLMAN

That's a strange attitude.

He looks at DUKE thoughtfully.

HIGHWAY PATROLMAN

You know -- I get the feeling you

could use a nap. There's a rest

area up ahead. Why don't you pull

over and sleep a few hours?

DUKE:

A nap won't help. I've been awake

for too long -- three or four

nights. I can't even remember. If

I go to sleep now, I'm dead for

twenty hours.

The HIGHWAY PATROLMAN smiles.

HIGHWAY PATROLMAN

Okay. Here's how it is. What goes

into my book, as of noon, is that I

apprehended you... for driving too

fast, and advised you to proceed no

further than the next rest area...

your stated destination, right?

Where you plan to take a long nap.

Do I make myself clear?

DUKE:

How far is Baker? I was hoping to

stop there for lunch.

60.

HIGHWAY PATROLMAN

Not my jurisdiction. The city

limits are two point two miles

beyond the rest area. Can you make

it that far?

DUKE:

I'll try. I've been wanting to go

to Baker for a long time. I've

heard a lot about it.

The PATROLMAN holds the door for DUKE who gets in.

HIGHWAY PATROLMAN

Excellent seafood. With a mind

like yours, you'll probably want to

try the land-crab. Try the Majestic

Diner.

The PATROLMAN slams the door shut.

EXT. DESERT ROAD - DAY

DUKE drives away -- teeth gritted.

DUKE (V/O)

I felt raped. The Pig had done me

on all fronts, and now he was going

off to chuckle about it -- on the

west side of town, waiting for me

to make a run for L.A.

DUKE drives past the rest area to an intersection where he

signals to turn right into Baker. As he approaches the turn

he sees the HITCHHIKER! As DUKE slows to make the turn

their eyes meet. DUKE is about to wave -- but the HITCHHIKER

drops his thumb.

DUKE:

Great Jesus, it's him.

DUKE, spooked, SPINS THE RED SHARK round -- ROARS BACK THE

WAY HE CAME.

EXT. BAKER TRUCK STOP - DAY

DUKE on the public phone booth -- screaming.

DUKE:

They've nailed me! I'm trapped in

some stinking desert crossroads

called Baker. I don't have much

time. The f***ers are closing in.

They'll hunt me down like a beast!

61.

INT. GONZO'S OFFICE - DAY

GONZO sits surrounded by legal papers and law books. Mexican

Day of the Dead masks hang from the walls -- flame-red demons.

GONZO:

Who? You sound a little paranoid.

EXT. BAKER TRUCK STOP - DAY

DUKE screams -- sweat pouring.

DUKE:

You bastard! I need a lawyer

immediately!

INT. GONZO'S OFFICE - DAY

GONZO:

What are you doing in Baker?

Didn't you get my telegram?

EXT. BAKER TRUCK STOP - DAY

DUKE:

What? F*** telegrams. I'm in

trouble. You worthless bastard.

I'll cripple your ass for this!

All that sh*t in the car is yours!

You understand that? When I finish

testifying out here you'll be

disbarred!

INT. GONZO'S OFFICE - DAY

GONZO:

You're supposed to be in Vegas. We

have a suite at the Flamingo. I

was just about to leave for the

airport.

INT. BAKER TRUCK STOP - DAY

DUKE pulls out the telegram from his top pocket.

GONZO'S VOICE

You brainless scumbag! You're

supposed to be covering the National

District Attorney's conference! I

made all the reservations... rented

a white Cadillac convertible... the

whole thing is arranged! What the

hell are you doing out there in the

middle of the f***ing desert?

62.

DUKE stares at the telegram.

DUKE:

Never mind. It's all a big joke.

I'm actually sitting beside the

pool at the Flamingo. I'm talking

from a portable phone. Some dwarf

brought it out from the casino. I

have total credit! Can you grasp

that?

(shouts)

Don't come anywhere near this place!

Foreigners aren't welcome here!

DUKE, breathing heavily, hangs up phone.

EXT. DESERT - DAY

C/U of .357 Magnum cylinder being spun.

DUKE (V/O)

Well. This is how the world works.

C/U An IGUANA basks in the sun.

DUKE (V/O)

All energy flows according to the

whims of the Great Magnet.

C/U Barrel of the gun. It fires. An explosion of desert

dirt.

DUKE (V/O)

What a fool I was to defy Him.

The IGUANA sits unfazed.

DUKE (V/O)

Never cross the Great Magnet. I

understood this now...

(another blast from

the gun)

... and with understanding came a

sense of almost terminal relief.

DUKE stands alone in the vast desert firing at nothing, the

thuds of the explosions echo away.

EXT. ROAD INTO VEGAS - DAY

The RED SHARK driving back towards Las Vegas.

63.

DUKE (V/O)

I had to get rid of The Shark. Too

many people might recognize it...

...especially the Vegas Police.

(tight C/U of DUKE)

Luckily, my credit card was still

technically valid.

PULL BACK TO REVEAL:

DUKE, now driving a white Cadillac Coupe de Ville -- THE

WHITE WHALE.

DUKE pushes buttons -- lowers the top.

DUKE (V/O)

This was a superior machine -- ten

grand worth of gimmicks and high

price special effects. The rear

windows leapt up with a touch like

frogs in a dynamited pond. The

dashboard was full of esoteric

lights and dials and meters that I

would never understand.

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