Feast Page #5

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SUPERIMPOSED:

NAMES:
GRANDPA AND GRANDMA

AGES:
88 AND 86

OCCUPATION:
RETIRED

FUN FACT:
BEEN TOGETHER SINCE DEPRESSION

LIFE EXPECTANCY:
THEY DON'T BUY GREEN BANANAS

BOZO:

(in a crotchety tone)

Wake up! Check your pants!

Bozo mocks a hearing impairment by cupping his ear.

BOZO:

What's that!? Wha'cha say? Huh?

GRANDPA:

Get outta here.

Bozo SNAPS one of the bloody bills.

BOZO:

How much for the whole night, Grandma?

GRANDMA:

(disgusted)

You should be so lucky.

Grandpa raises his fists one at a time as he explains...

GRANDPA:

This one will just stun ya, but this

one will put ya to sleep.

BOZO:

(mocking)

Whoa!

We follow Bozo as he takes notice of OLD VET (52, long hair

with bandanna, dirty beard) HARLEY MOM, (45, bruiser,

grizzled, tough as a saddle) and DRUNK GUY. He saddles up

next to them at the bar.

BOZO:

You boys wanna take a try at the

loot?

They don't respond. Harley Mom is offended.

BOZO:

Come on, I'll even throw with my

left hand.

He turns in disappointment.

Goldie downs another shot. The tart sting of the drink hits

him. He slaps the bar.

GOLDIE:

Ooohhh!

BOZO:

(addressing room)

Nothin' but a bunch of butts and

pussies in here!

EXT. PRAIRIE LAND -- NIGHT

P.O.V. - We are frantically running. The bar is just a

quarter mile ahead. We leap a fence and --

INT. BAR -- NIGHT

KRASH! Belle DROPS a tray full of drinks behind the bar.

BELLE:

Sh*t! Sh*t! Sh*t!

Bartender helps her.

BARTENDER:

Don't sweat it, just clean it up

before he's done.

He points up and we rapidly RISE to the second floor.

ON SECOND FLOOR:

Tuffy's son CODY (7, innocent, cute) sits on the floor

watching TV.

SUPERIMPOSED:

NAME:
CODY

AGE:
7

OCCUPATION:
DEPENDENT

LIFE EXPECTANCY:
A WONDERFUL, FULL LIFE

Tuffy walks over to him and puts HEADPHONES over his ears.

TUFFY:

Keep these on, sweetheart.

CODY:

Okay, mommy.

Tuffy kisses him on the head and then moves to an adjacent

room.

ADJACENT ROOM:

Tuffy enters the room and takes off her blouse exposing her

breasts. She pulls up her skirt and bends over a bedpost.

TUFFY:

Let's get this over with.

Boss Man walks up behind her, naked, except for Red Cowboy

Boots.

BOSS MAN:

I love a woman with enthusiasm.

EXT. BAR FRONT -- NIGHT

P.O.V. - We move in fast on the bar --

INT. BAR -- NIGHT

Bozo walks to the middle of the room, proudly displaying his

prize money.

BOZO:

I got two hundred bucks says none of

you can beat me!

The bar is silent. Bartender points to the double doors.

BARTENDER:

Hey! Get quiet or get out.

BOZO:

(grinning)

C'mon guys--

EXT. BAR -- NIGHT

P.O.V. - Hurtling toward the double doors and --

INT. BAR -- NIGHT

BOZO:

Gimme some ACTION --

BOOM! The double doors to the bar are kicked open by HERO

(rugged alpha man with dark features and built to kick ass).

KRASH! Belle DROPS a second tray of drinks--

MUSIC CUTS OUT:

Hero is scraped, bruised and bloodied. He is dressed in blue

denim, with a hand made duct tape and leather neck guard. He

holds a RUST-RED SHOTGUN and a GUNNY SACK. He SLAMS the double

doors shut and props a chair against the handles, securing

them.

Hero spins around and c*cks his weapon.

He has the bar's attention.

HERO:

Unless you people want to die you'll

do what I say and you'll do it fast!

KAH-CHUCK! Bartender c*cks his SHOTGUN.

BARTENDER:

You hold it right there, mister.

Hero raises his one hand holding the gunny sack.

HERO:

(catching his breath.)

A storm of hell's coming down on

this place any minute!

BARTENDER:

Drop the canon!

Hero puts down the shotgun and cautiously moves towards

Bartender.

HERO:

I'm not armed now, just hear me out.

Hero gets closer.

BARTENDER:

I'll drop you and not even think

about it!

HERO:

Let me explain!

BARTENDER:

YOU GOT ONE SECOND TO --

WHOOSH! Hero reveals a drool-dripping, white, GRANDPAPA BEAST

HEAD from the gunny sack and holds it out and high for all

to see.

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