Feast Page #8

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BOSS MAN:

My god damn foot is gone! Who f***in'

shot me? Who f***in' shot me!?

BARTENDER:

(motioning to Heroine)

Her fella.

HEROINE:

(weary)

My husband...

BOSS MAN:

Well, where's the sonuvabitch!?

HEROINE:

He's dead.

BOSS MAN:

What?

Boss Man and Tuffy notice the destruction to the bar.

BOSS MAN:

What the hell happened down here?!

Boss Man looks to Bozo.

BOZO:

I didn't do it! It was f***in'

monsters, a**hole!

Boss Man c*cks the .38.

BOSS MAN:

Jesus Christ on the cross... Someone

make sense.

HEROINE:

Easy. We're surrounded by something

the likes none of you have ever seen

before. Some kind of animals. Real

fast, volatile, predators. ONE went

through three of your patrons like

they were Kleenex.

BOSS MAN:

(matter of fact)

So, your dead hubby shot me twice,

three of my customers have been eaten,

and there are angry creatures outside?

HEROINE:

He only shot you once.

BOSS MAN:

Huh?

HEROINE:

(re:
Bartender)

He shot you the other time.

BARTENDER:

It was an accident. Sorry.

Boss Man squints skeptically. Good Guy points to the bar.

GOOD GUY:

Look at it!

Good Guy directs the attention of Boss Man and Tuffy to

GRANDPAPA BEAST'S HEAD at the end of the bar.

BOSS MAN:

(accepting)

Fan-f***in-tastic.

Tuffy, still supporting Boss Man, is mesmerized by the head

and damage to the bar.

TUFFY:

Oh my God... What is that?

HEROINE:

That's one piece of four problems.

BOSS MAN:

Please elaborate.

Tight on Heroine's eyes.

HEROINE:

That head over there?

She points to the decapitated beast head.

HEROINE:

That's the oldest of the bunch, looked

like the Grandpapa. We caught the

little one, Junior, in the cooler

there. As we've seen, what he lacks

in size he more than makes up for in

speed.

BARTENDER:

And the rest of 'em?

HEROINE:

Unfortunately, the worst of 'em are

still outside.

Heroine spins and recalls the gory details...

NOTE:
As Heroine describes each beast, we see a glimpse of

their virtues.

HEROINE:

The next one is taller, but all out

of proportion. Like a "teen beast."

EXT. PRAIRIE LAND -- NIGHT

Just a quick glimpse of TEEN BEAST. He's got a big head and

awkward body. He clumsily moves and seems uncomfortable in

his own skin. He's got big balls and can't keep his hands

off of them.

HEROINE (V.O.)

He was spastic, clumsy, but deadly

just the same.

INT. BAR FRONT -- NIGHT

Heroine tends to her scratched arm.

HEROINE:

If I'm not mistaken, I just took the

eye out of the Mother. She can guide

the attacks. She calculates.

EXT. PRAIRIE LAND -- NIGHT

MOMMA BEAST flashes out from the dark. She's shorter than

Teen, but much wider. She has a big mouth and NATIONAL

GEOGRAPHIC B*OBS that hang down to her waist. She covers her

stabbed left eye and SCREECHES.

INT. BAR -- NIGHT

Heroine taps her left eye.

HEROINE:

If you are face to face with her,

dive left.

ROADIE:

And the last one is the...

HEROINE:

Father. The biggest, the strongest...

EXT. PRAIRIE LAND -- NIGHT

FLASH! We only see a blur of muscles, bloody fur, and teeth.

INT. BAR -- CONTINUOUS

The entire bar stares at Heroine with their mouths on the

floor.

HEROINE:

No sign of any weaknesses. No sign

at all. He's an eating machine.

Goldie puts his head down.

GOLDIE:

(sotto)

Of all the friggin' bars to go into...

The bar folks back up, not so confident about their chances.

HEROINE:

All right, we need to lock this place

down! Everyone in this room?

Tuffy eyes bug. She drops Boss Man's arm. He topples.

TUFFY:

Oh my god! My son! My SON!

We race with Tuffy toward the staircase to the SECOND FLOOR.

HEROINE:

Wait!

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