Felidae Page #5

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friend has no sense of humour!

Francis and I have been

sitting at the computer.

We assume with certainty that the

murderer has not seven of us,

but believe it or not,

four hundred and fifty on his conscience.

These murders - these murders

are most likely in connection

with the ghastly secrets of the

laboratory of Professor Preterius.

Crimes of which some of you were victims of,

without remembering it today.

That's enough! Have you

ever fancied why some of us

amble throughout the

neighbourhood like a total wreck?

Calm yourselves down!

Let the wiseass continue!

Maybe he'll present us with the murderer.

Unfortunately, I cannot present you

with the murderer at the moment.

But perhaps with the truth.

A number of you dear friends pay

homage to the dead Claudandus

who suffered the worst torment in

Professor Preterius's torture lab -

He isn't dead!

What do you know about Claudandus?

Why do you think he's not dead?

Well, because great-

grandfather told me about it.

And who is your great-grandfather?

Father Joker.

He told me that Claudandus had

challenged the monster to a fight

in the end and actually killed him.

Dear friends! The only one who

knows what Claudandus looks like

and could lead us to him is Joker.

But Joker is dead -

- Gone!

If you ask me, Joker has assumed the

identity of the Prophet. Claudandus is dead.

No one woud've survived such torture.

But Joker is alive and on the run!

Thanks to brother Francis,

his sinister plans were thwarted.

Bravo!

- Bravo!

I've told you already that I searched

Joker's place from the bottom to the top!

Exactly! From bottom to top!

You had no way of seeing

on top of the shelves!

And what now?

Well then, it simply must

be done the hard way!

My God! It had been an execution.

And Joker had been in agreement with it!

But what was so incredibly important at stake

that Joker had to sacrifice himself for it?

Claudandus! He had survived!

Now that Joker's dead,

we have no prime suspect any more.

Right. The whole thing is as puzzling

as ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics.

Blaubart, I just came to a crazy idea!

Crazy! A word that could often

describe your state of mind!

Genetics.

The genetics!

"The laws of inheritance were first discovered

by the Jesuit priest Gregor Johann Mendel."

We're being bred back!

- We're being what?

Why did I never ask myself

which females the murder victims

wanted to mate with?

I should've listened to my dreams

right from the outset.

My first nightmare,

the man without a face,

that was, of course, Preterius!

Earwitness Felicitas's key words:

But I could not understand precisely.

But his tone of voice was so urgent,

laden with significance,

as if he wanted to convince

his interlocutors of something.

The murderer is not

a madman running amok!

He wanted to persuade the poor

Sascha and Purple not to mate with

my sharp terrace lady or her fellow women!

For as she said, "We are not new, but old!"

You mean the new super

cronies of the district?

Exactly!

There. Look.

- What? Is it her?

No. It's the motif.

If we bred back to our original form.

Among the wild, proud Felidae!

"Gregor Johann Mendel

and his theory of heredity.

Major work:

Experiments on plant hybrids... "

Experiments on plant hybrids!

And who reveres Gregor Johann Mendel

and has his portrait hanging in his study?

Who was it Preterius employed

as an assistant in the laboratory?

Well, who?

- Ziebold!

Who the hell is Ziebold?

- Fresh liver! Ring any bells?

Fresh liver... let me think.

- No time to think. Come on!

Okay, you take this entrance.

I'll climb up the tree directly into the study.

Blaubart was here.

The password, dammit!

Come on, come on, think!

Think! The damn password!

"Number 287:
Pascha;

June 18,1986; circa 0:30;

tried to copulate with Trabian.

All art of persuasion in vain. "

Now I understood it!

He had to ensure the following:

The females selected for breeding purposes

had to encounter the appropriate male!

And if a foreign animal

wanted to butt in, well, then -

Do you know everything now, dear Francis?

Yes, Claudandus. There are only a

few more gaps in my knowledge.

Perhaps you'd like to fill them in.

- I'll tell you a story of humans and animals.

A true story.

Yes, I am Claudandus.

I was in that lab,

I survived those tortures.

When Preterius finally snapped,

I spoke to him!

You spoke with him?!

- Yes. And he let me out of the cage.

And I sunk my fangs deep into his throat.

Then, I found Ziebold.

Through him, I learned the

Mendelian theory of genetics

and suddenly, I knew how I could

turn the wheels of history back again.

The only one who helped me was Joker.

He was responsible for the

dissemination of the ideology,

and I, for the scientific side of the project.

After the first breeding successes,

the program expanded rapidly.

I had to kill, Francis. I had too.

To preserve the racial

purity of my great-Felidae.

I will die soon. That's why

I've lured you onto my track,

so that you will become my successor.

The leader of this wonderful, mighty Felidae!

And why did Joker have to believe in it?

- I had no other choice.

He would have betrayed

everything under pressure.

Now I really do know everything.

But I wish I had never learned it.

Oh no, Francis...

You live your ordinary little day

and at night you sleep your carefree,

ordinary little sleep full of

peaceful, stupid dreams.

And I...

have brought you nightmares.

Or perhaps not?

The world is a hell, Francis!

And the culmination of all this

ugliness in the universe is Man!

I tell you, my friend,

we're cut from no other cloth.

You are the true human being!

You think like them, you act like them!

Tell me, what kind of a role have you

intended for the other animal species?

None at all. They're stupid

and submit to their own fate.

But there are good people,

Pascal or Claudandus or Felidae

or whoever you are -

- No, no, no! There are no good people!

They're all the same!

Animals are good human beings

and human beings are evil animals.

I will fight you any way I can!

And I'll start with the deletion of this

unspeakable program. I'm sorry.

You have no idea just how

sorry I am to do this, Francis...

So much darkness in the world...

So much darkness.

I became angry, Francis...

but I once too, was...

good.

He lost his innocence...

as has Man...

Even murderers die, and with them

the mysterious stories

that have kept us in suspense for some time.

And so, farewell from your devoted

little Francis and an intimate salute

to all the smartasses of the world.

Do not give up believing in a world

where animals and humans

can live together in harmony.

Of course, even types that

are smarter than the latter.

For example:
Felidae!

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