Femme Fatale Page #4

an illegal hand gun?

- I told you, it's not my gun.

- OK. Then we'll just keep it.

Now, about your motorcycle...

- You really want to report it stolen?

- Of course I want to report it stolen.

If it wasn't at the hotel,

somebody took it, sir.

Why don't you look a little harder?

If it doesn't turn up in a few days,

give me a call.

Sir, you don't believe one goddamn

thing I said, right?

Not only don't I believe you,

I don't even like you.

Look, Bardo, I know who you are.

Ex-paparazzi smart ass who

hasn't worked for seven years.

I don't know what you're up to

but it's not smart.

And if you keep it up, you're going

to wind up on a cell block...

...full of smart guys just like you.

"Mr. Watts...

...if you ever want

to see your wife again...

...bring 10 million dollars...

...in Bearer Bonds to

the Passerelle Debilly...

...at 2 a.m. This morning.

If you inform the police or arrive

with anyone besides yourself...

...she will be killed."

Oh sh*t.

Son of a b*tch!

Mrs. Watts...

Call me Lily.

Okay, Lily.

What the hell do you think

you're doing, Lily?

Are you mad at me?

Mad? Nah...

You're making everybody think

I've kidnapped you.

Haven't you?

That is not funny...

No, Nicolas. You're right.

It's not funny.

It wasn't funny when you sold my picture

to the papers either.

Then you showed up

to do what?

Explain, apologize, lie?

I was afraid for your life.

I felt responsible for it, damn it!

That's so sweet, Nicolas.

I'm a bad girl, Nicolas.

Real bad.

Rotten to the heart.

Last scrape I was in

I f***ed up a lot of people.

Bad people. People like me.

People that don't forget.

But I was given a second chance.

So I went back to States where I got

everything a bad girl ever wanted.

F***ing Watts!

He was sweet, until being the richest

man in the world wasn't enough.

He had to have public glory.

So he gave away

a ton of money...

...bought himself

the French Ambassadorship.

Which meant the Misses got dragged out

into the Parisian limelight.

Well, I couldn't do that Nicolas...

...'cause bad people

read newspapers too.

There you go.

Enter my worst nightmare.

You snap that f***ing picture,

sell it to the tabloids.

And now it's only a matter of time

before those bad people come running.

So I got the photographer turned

blackmailer to kidnapped me.

Blackmailer?

You offered me money!

And I have never kidnapped anybody,

you f***ing b*tch!

Then where am I, Nicolas?

Why did you have my car,

my clothes, a gun?

Why was a ransom note

e-mailed from your computer?

- Everyone knows you did it.

- I've got to think. I've got to think.

I've got to think.

Don't bother.

You don't have to think about anything.

I've got it all thought out

for you.

Watts is coming up here at 2 a.m.

With 10 million dollars in a briefcase.

Now if you start being

a little nice to me...

I might catch you in on the take.

We are going to the police.

Why would you want to do that?

Because you're gonna tell them

the crazy story you just told me.

Nicolas?

You think I'm stupid?

I'm going to tell them

a kidnapping story...

...starring you.

Son of a b*tch! F***...

- Nicolas!

- Hold. Hold on. Hold on.

See, I did have time

to go back to that sex shop.

C'mon!

What did you do with that other gun

I gave you?

- The cops took it.

- They took it?

- I got you another one. Come here.

- Be careful with that thing.

It's all right.

Isn't sugar better than vinegar?

Come on.

We've got a couple hours, baby.

Let's go do something fun,

want you?

How come you're the only man in this

room that doesn't want to f*** me?

Nicolas! Where are you going?

I'm just going to buy some cigarettes.

And you know...

...don't worry,

I'm not going anywhere...

...while you've got my balls

in your pocket, Lily.

Pack of cigarettes.

Anything American.

22 francs.

Hey, Nicolas! Come here!

Meet my friend, Napoleon.

I think he is in love.

Can we just go outside for a second?

I need to talk to you.

Nicolas, com'on we're having fun.

Just be cool.

Well, I'm gonna go outside, all right?

Nicolas, we don't want you to wait out

in the cold, do we Napoleon?

I mean, if we hit it off...

I don't know, I was kind of thinking

of letting you off the hook.

- Really?

- Yeah.

I mean, you don't seem to be enjoying

my company much.

Maybe Napoleon and I should just

sail off into the sunset.

And you can go f*** yourself.

I hope you didn't kill him.

He was going to save me

from a dip in the Seine.

What?

We had big plans. I was going off

the bridge into his boat.

Oh poor Lily,

whatever happened to her?

She must have drowned

and washed out to sea.

Thanks a lot,

you've ruined everything.

F*** you.

What's the matter, Nicolas?

Did I make you jealous?

Jealous? Yes.

I was jealous.

I am jealous.

Come on, Nicolas!

You don't have to lick my ass.

Just f*** me.

- You know what?

- What?

We can still go away.

Both of us. Together.

That's so sweet.

Come here. Come here.

That's so romantic.

Without the money?

Are you nuts?

That's a choice.

A bad choice.

There are other ones.

What? Like doing the right thing?

That's a start.

I tried that once, Nicolas.

And you know what it got me?

A lifetime of looking

over my shoulder.

You know why no good deed

goes unpunished?

Because this world is hell and

you're nothing but a f***ing patsy.

I made everybody think

you kidnapped me...

...so I could screw my husband

out of 10 million bucks.

That's what it's all about...

...me disappearing with

10 million bucks.

So... wipe it off...

...and let's go get it.

F*** you.

You're not gonna hurt her, right?

Because I've done exactly

what you told me to do.

I've brought the money...

...and I haven't talked to anyone.

- Don't do anything foolish, darling.

- I won't.

He just wants me to take the money

and bring it back to him.

It's Nicolas Bardo.

Your wife is staging this kidnapping

to take you for 10 million bucks.

If you don't believe me,

I got it right here on tape.

What the f*** do you think

you're doing?

You killed him?

Just being careful.

That f***ing b*tch.

She's at it again!

The f***ing b*tch!

You didn't think I'd give you a gun

loaded with real bullets, did you?

Baby, there's one more thing

we gotta do...

Oh God, somebody help!

My husband!

F***ing over everyone again!

- How did you find me?

- Not this time.

Where...

...are the diamonds?

F*** you!

Wake up, b*tch...

...before you die.

You know what's in this?

The bullet that is gonna spread

your brains all over that wall.

You know how I know?

Look at me!

I'm your f***ing fairy godmother...

...and I just dreamt your future.

And mine too.

And all I know is...

...if there's a snowball chance in hell

that any of that sh*t happening...

...we're gonna change it right here.

Now, listen.

I know you got a bad break,

but that's history...

...and you'd better f***in' forget it,

'cause if you can't...

Well, then you may as well go

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