Filantropica Page #5

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It's hard to find such a great couple today.

Mr. Puiutz, I'm sorry, I can't go on, it's below my dignity.

Your dignity? With your kind of money,

you can afford dignity?

Let me tell you a story.

In the '50s, when I was young, I dreamed

of becoming a great writer, like you do.

You know how much there dreams cost me?

Five years at the Jilava prison.

The "comrades" did not approve of my manuscript.

There, in jail, I found out how things are with dignity.

One cigarette to the guard, one day of dignity.

No more cigarettes...

be very careful when you bend over.

Mr. Puiutz, I...

And, after five years, when they got me out,

guess what I found out?

That outside is the same...

So you can take your dignity and shove it up your ass...

...before someone else shoves theirs.

Bill to this table!

in your first day. Beautiful!

-Sir...

-Yes, please.

-It can't be the amount written here...

-It is, ma'am, see for yourself.

It can't be, sir, please, we're still in Romania...

...who can afford to pay such a bill?

These are the prices, only people

that can afford them eat here.

Honey, please, look and say if you think this is normal.

I think I'm going crazy.

-Look at it!

-I can't...

-It's too much, we don't have that kind of money.

-Impossible. Please pay the bill.

And I ask kindly that you understand,

it's a special situation. My wife...

I couldn't believe it. I loved it!

I felt like a great actor on stage,

in front of a breathless audience.

And it was only the first show in a long line of shows.

Honey, please, calm down, I'll try to reason with him...

What reason, sir, wasn't I speaking clearly enough?

You have to pay, so please...

I knew we shouldn't have gone out tonight.

Only you insisted...

I wanted it to be special...

And we offered you something special, too...

-Did I ask for something special?

-Did I?

-I didn't ask for anything special!

-Not a thing!

When I asked to see the menu,

you said to trust you with it.

I wanted to give a little pleasure to my wife,

since we're celebrating 10 years of marriage.

-10 years of marr...

-10 years of marri...

If you did her a pleasure, then do me

a pleasure too and pay your bill, ok?

-Do you know how much money my husband makes?

-That's none of my business, lady...

Do you know it's been two months

since he's got his last salary?

Do you know that the Ministry of Education won't pay

teachers' wages until after the budget review?

Do you know that it's been 10 years since we can't go out

to a restaurant because of a criminal and anti-cultural policy...

...that is mocking the formation of our youth?

I'm sorry, ma'am, but this is scandalous.

Why won't you be more understanding?

Why won't you?

I don't know, we'll look for a way out together,

I'll stay here all night and wash the dishes, sir...

All the happiness to you. Laura, sing the

anniversary song again for these two kids.

"Happy anniversary to you,

happy anniversary to you..."

And all this, Miruna, with only one purpose:

to appear before her tomorrow like a wealthy guy,

with a cell phone and a fancy car.

That... was the story...

-What do you say?

-What can I say? Good luck!

-God help!

-Yes...

We're here. This is where I live.

-See you Monday?

-See you Monday.

-Do you have a practical advice?

-Yes. Take the wedding ring off your finger!

Hey, bring it back by tomorrow noon!

-This is your car?

-What can I say? "Nobody dies for free".

-Where are we going?

-I booked a table at "Coral"...

...but if you want, we can go dancing afterwards.

-I've got the orange, too...

-He he...

-Diana!

-Slow down, buddy!

What cretins!

- Diana!

- Diana!

-We're going to "Cult Club".

-Where?

-To "Cult Club".

-Ah, ok.

-See you there!

-Diana!

-Diana, how are you?

-I'm fine, thanks. How are you?

I broke up with Silviu. See you at the club?

Come, tell me all about it, ok?

A medium "bland" for the young lady

and a double scotch for me.

Have you ever tasted this cigarettes from Afghanistan?

They go well with the scotch.

So, how are things with writing? Fun?

The coolest thing.

Only you must have a shitload of money,

otherwise it won't work.

These charlatans that say they live in some apartment

with their parents and write on an empty stomach... bullshit!

Only suckers believe that.

What you need to do is get to a cool state...

...go to your cabin in the mountains,

sit down with a glass of scotch...

-With some cool music...

-No, no. You make the music, on the paper.

The ones that write with music are not real writers,

they just write song lyrics.

I can't even write a postcard without music.

Don't worry, you can't write it even with music.

Listen, can you do... the other thing without music, too?

Well, aren't we pigs tonight...

Wow, so many cool people!

-Sh*t, "Leech" is here.

-The night goes bad.

-How the f*** did he find us?

-How you doin', motherfuckers?

Do I really have to make a thousand calls

to find out where you guys partyin' tonight?

I'll beat the sh*t out of the one that told him.

Too late, buddy, we were just about to go home.

So what? Come on, tonight I want to party.

-So, you're with the old guy now?

-I'm with whoever I want, do you mind?

-I'll catch you alone sometime...

-What for?

For our friendship to become a much deeper feeling.

Hi there, old man. I hope you weren't offended.

I like to make jokes like this.

You'll piss yourself laughing,

he's got a great sense of humor.

Yes, he does. Didn't you know? He's the master of fun.

Well, it looks like this chick doesn't appreciate me

as she should. She goes out with all these losers.

Umm, let me show you a trick.

-Do you know how a rich guy smokes?

-Like me, he he.

Nah, gimme the pack.

Lighter.

Tell me, just out of curiosity, what's your rate?

-My rate for what?

-For getting out of here.

How much would I have to bribe you

so that you go to bed early tonight?

-About when?

-About now.

My rate is one million per night.

Here's two millions, in advance, for a future occasion.

It's a pleasure doing business with serious businessmen.

Good joke. You're cool. He's cool, the old geezer...

Now we all say "good night"...

Ok, gotcha, you're cool, old man.

-Now we say "good bye" nicely...

-Yes.

-We go home, and hop into bed.

-Ok, now take your money back.

Lady Di, your guy is no fun.

I'm joking and he takes it for real?

-What jokes? did you take the money?

-Hey, did you take the money? Now go home!

-Quick, before you lose your sleep.

-Let him stay, poor guy...

-What is it, baby, don't you want to sleep?

-We don't want to leave?

-No, he was just leaving.

-Shut the f*** up, I wasn't leaving anywhere.

You're really uncool, guys. Uncool.

What the f***, can't we stay and have a drink,

have some laughs?

Unfortunately, I must ask you to leave the club.

-Why?

-You disturbed this gentleman.

And who is this gentleman, that I have

to leave when he feels like it?

If you don't know, you better start reading

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