Filantropica Page #7

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it was a wrong number, what are you thinking?

Who do you think called me yesterday? "Leech".

He told me he saw you in a restaurant...

and you didn't have money to pay.

-Who, me?

-And you were married!

God forbid!

Of course I didn't believe him, but...

...now that you brought me to somebody

else's place, who knows what to believe?

-Listen, do you believe that lunatic?

-Whose house is this?

Mine! All mine! Look, this is where I live! Ok?

This is my desk, with my typewriter...

...with a page from my last novel...

...with an unfinished sentence,

so I wouldn't be late for our date.

"Domident" toothpaste. Towels.

My closet, with my clothes...

Picture album... What more do you want?

Your phone number.

-What?

-Your phone number, I don't have it.

Let's call your number, see who picks up.

It's ringing! Can you hear? It's ringing!

-Hello, Ovidiu?

-Yes?

Oh, he's not home?

No problem, I'll call later.

Wrong number...

-At least let me drive you home, please.

-Are you sure it's your car?

Where are you going now, alone, at night?

Here, take some. Well done.

Then... I called you.

That 's what you all do. As soon as your mistress

kicks you to the curb, you go crying to the wife.

Come on. Come here.

What? You're shocked?

Anyway, since I've been working for Pepe,

I haven't been doing it anymore.

I've changed my source of income.

Coming, honey?

Don't be stupid. I bet you have no idea

what an experienced woman is like.

Otherwise you wouldn't fall for silly little girls.

Would the master please wake up?

I assure you, sir, that it is a beautiful day,

for which it is well worth opening your eyes.

Anyway, the publishers from New York and Paris...

...are already here, and they brought

the contracts for you to sign.

-What time is it?

-It is 3 PM, sir.

And, as usual, I'm serving your breakfast in bed.

Today it's Sunday. We have the day off.

-So you know what I thought?

-No, I don't.

Why don't you take me out to a restaurant tonight?

-Beautiful... to break the monotony, right?

-Are you listening?

This time we order anything we want.

We drink, we eat, we party...

-With what? I spent everything yesterday.

-We cant pay. We collect.

-And? What do we get with that?

-We get absolutely no money at all!

Don't you want to enjoy just once...

...all those yummy things on our bills?

French Champagne... seafood salad...

Chateau Briant flamb...

...appetizer... sirloin steak... trout...

... two coffees and desert...

that's exactly 2.754.000 lei.

Radu, Mircea and Alin are invited on stage!

-We're sorry, we don't have that much money...

-I can't hear you...

-We didn't know it was so expensive...

-I can't hear you...

We'll leave you our IDs, something...

and I'll come pay tomorrow at 11 PM.

Quit bargaining and pay!

And the karaoke goes on!

Do what? Let's try some installments, here's my ID.

And now, the gentleman that asked for a famous song.

-Sir, please, let's discuss this...

-We'll discuss it. That's where I'm taking you....

...to discuss it.

We'll have a nice little chat, just the two of us.

Listen, let's come to an agreement...

Why are you such a jerk, eh?

Tell me, you jerk, you want

me to pay out of my own pocket?

Say it, do you want me to pay out of my own pocket?

Say it, you bastard!

Me, pay out of my own pocket?

Let me give you another helping!

Want more?

Want more?

At least you could have smiled a bit...

Oh well, he did too good of a job on the eyes,

but not so good on the mouth.

Otherwise... nice handiwork.

Do you think his mommy would recognize him now?

"The Popescu family..."

Well, you have to be the representative

of ordinary people...

You really didn't recognize my style?

It didn't have your signature on it.

You think small...

I never signed "The Sheep" either.

How many fools were in this thing?

Just one, right?

Just one fool, right Miruna?

Honey, my sweet, my beauty...

Can you give us a minute? Please?

No, don't worry.

Of course, kitten. Your wife was in on it.

Guess who else?

-The waiter...

-Of course. And?

The voice on the machine

on Saturday night, Ungureanu.

Bingo! You just won a color TV! He he...

I'm not even joking, tomorrow night

you'll be on TV, live.

-Who?

-What do you mean, who? You, the Popescus.

In front of the people. On ProTV.

You can count me out.

Incredible... isn't anything left in this

stubborn head of yours?

No brain activity? Is it on strike?

Hello? Anybody home?

Mr. Puiutz, our collaboration

ceases this very moment.

Zorro, I don't get you...

We have a lot of work ahead of us.

We need to prepare tomorrow's show.

Tow weeks we trained you for this thing.

There's tons of money at stake here.

You can't even imagine.

But that's not important.

Important is that we'll create a masterpiece.

Don't you feel excited when you hear it, as a writer?

A masterpiece!

I think you've got the wrong guy.

Let me set things straight:

my name is not Popescu...

...this young lady is not my wife...

I'm not even a writer, although

I would have liked to be one.

All I am is a high school teacher

who must teach his students...

...the masterpieces of Romanian literature.

Have a nice day.

If anybody says anything about the way I look...

...I'll take away their cell phone!

You have been warned!

Take out a sheet of paper. Pop quiz!

-Is Robert Dobrovicescu here?

-No I haven't seen him in a few days.

-Can we talk for a second?

-Just a moment.

"The patriotic feelings in poems of the 1848 generation".

And be quiet, understood?

I'm listening.

We'd like to ask you a favor.

If this student shows up for class

in the next few days...

...give him a message from us.

From you... who?

It doesn't matter. Just tell him

two honest citizen were looking for him.

The message matters. Memorize:

"The Baron is very upset.

He wants the money in three days."

If this kid doesn't show up in three days

with the money and deep apologies...

"Life is complicated, and has many aspects".

I didn't understand a thing.

-He didn't understand a thing.

-It's your turn, then.

Sir, this kid crashed a brand new car

that wasn't his.

-The owner is very upset.

-"Very upset", that's the message.

He wants the money for the damages,

and asked us to talk to the kid and persuade him...

If the kid doesn't behave, he can run

to Vladivostok, we'll still find him.

And then it's bad...

-How much does he owe?

-He knows how much.

The important thing is to remember that...

"life is complicated and has many aspects".

He's young, and it would be such a pity if

he ended up, God forbid, as an invalid.

-Or even worse...

-God forbid!

-What kind of money are we talking about, anyway?

-$3.000.

It's not the money that counts, it's the act.

Shut the f*** up! The first that breathes

gets a bullet between the eyes!

What is this? Are we mocking school here?

Everybody concentrate on your quiz!

-By the way, who fixed you up so good?

-Nobody...

Because if somebody fixed you up, and you want

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