Filth Page #8

- No!

No!

You see, I've always

hated you f***ing pigs.

But not in the normal way your average

low-life scum like me hates them.

You see, I've always hated them

in a special way.

But you...

You're different, sweetheart.

I'll make an honest

woman of you yet.

You thought you could take me, eh?

You sick,

sexy, wee pansy.

You really f***ed up this time,

didn't you, Bruce?

Ambulance is on the way, Bruce.

Don't go.

Don't go, brother.

I just wanted to keep her

close to me, you know?

Might not seem appropriate, but...

Happy New Year, Robbo.

Aye, happy New Year.

Listen, Bruce, um...

We obviously had to withdraw

your application for the promotion.

Now is not the right time

for you to meet the board.

You see that, right?

Aye.

And you're back in uniform, Bruce.

It is a demotion.

Of course, Bruce, I don't need to

tell you that obviously I was chuffed

about the promotion.

But it has been

a bittersweet experience for me.

If you hadn't had the...

the issues you've been having,

I'm sure you would have walked it.

- Aye.

- Aye.

I suppose everybody feels like this

when they actually get a promotion.

You know, how best to work

with old mates and all that.

Your methods and mine

are very different.

And I know we've pulled

some stuff in the past,

but all the coke and the

hookers and stuff...

- That's finito now.

- Aye.

You understand, little piggy?

No hard feelings, eh?

No hard feelings, pal.

Same rules apply.

Oh, by the way...

I saw your wee speccy mate Bladesey

down the Lodge.

The old phantom phone-caller, eh?

We told the sick bastard he's not welcome

at the Craft if he keeps that shite up.

See you later, then...

Frank.

No, don't...

OK, let's go...

Let's get out of here.

Stacey!

St...

Hey.

Oh, sh*t.

I'm really sorry for startling you...

No, it's...

It's OK. It's...

It's OK.

- Are you all right?

- Uh-huh.

- You look a bit...

- Hmm?

Ah, I'm just, um...

I'm just undercover.

I'm on, um, stakeout and...

You see, there's some really

shifty-looking characters in here tonight

and I'm just trying to blend in.

- Come on, Mummy, I'm hungry.

- I better get him home for his dinner.

Aye, right, of course.

- I'll see you around, then.

- Don't leave.

Hi, Detective Robertson,

it's Mary here.

Sorry, I know it's probably

none of my business, but...

Look, um, I was just

thinking that maybe

me and Euan could pop round

on our way to the park.

Right. Bladesey.

Uh, first things first.

You've really got to get rid

of the double glazing, pal.

Get yourself contact lenses or

something, laser eye treatment

cos nobody's ever gonna take you seriously

staring through those thick milk bottles.

Second thing is, you've really

got to try and toughen up.

Right, you're a nice guy.

But you're very soft.

Truth is, people are just as scared

of the world as you are.

I'm scared of the world.

I just don't let people

see it, that's all.

And that's what the games are.

I kid you not, my

sweet, sweet friend.

You're my best friend.

My only friend.

Most important thing is this, though.

You've got to make

Bunty want you again.

You'll probably find

that she does actually like you

if you just asserted yourself

a wee bit more.

You know, you show her passion

and she will run to you.

She will love you until

the day you die.

I may not be the one to be

giving marriage counselling,

but sometimes it takes a wrongdoer

to show you when you're doing wrong.

I'm sorry, Bladesey.

Really sorry, pal.

Bunty!

Same rules apply.

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote