Finishing The Game: The Search For A New Bruce Lee Page #2

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the angry Pygmies,

the exotic geishas

and the street thugs.

All of them?

Colored folks.

And when I say "colored,"

I mean all colors.

Hollywood needs these colors

to paint their pictures.

And I'm the one

who delivers the variety.

I represent Latinos,

Orientals and Afro-Americans.

Hell, I even got clients

who are Afro-Latinos and Latin-Orientals.

You want 'em, I got 'em.

Some of my clients

have even stepped into the spotlight

and made a real name

for themselves,

courtesy of Roy Thunder.

Clear. Go!

Just relax.

Troy Poon was the costar

of a hit primetime TV show.

Chang.

Bring this clown

down to the squad car.

Hey, man,

I ain't gonna do your laundry.

"Hey, man,

I ain't gonna do your laundry."

Troy's tag line swept the nation.

J.J. Walker had nothing on him.

Wow.

It's Rob Force.

You know, the last time we met,

you had the gun to my head.

I should have shot you

when I had the chance.

Woulda, coulda, shoulda,

Robbie.

Any last requests?

Hey, Chang, why don't you send for

someone to pick up this rotting corpse?

Hey.

I ain't gonna do your laundry.

- You know what I like about you, Chang?

- What?

Absolutely nothing.

It was the highest-rated show

in the country on Friday nights.

But after only nine episodes,

something horrible happened.

Dean Silo, best known for his

role as tough-talking detective Rob Force,

was found dead early this morning

in his Beverly Hills home.

I'm here on the scene

with Officer Williams.

Officer Williams,

when did Dean Silo pass away?

Well, the preliminary report put the time

of death at approximately 3:37 a.m.

And the circumstances

surrounding his demise?

Well, based on the position

of the body of the deceased

and several pieces of evidence,

it appears that Mr. Silo

was in the midst of self-asphyxiation

and attempted autofellatio

at the time of death.

Thank you, Officer Williams.

Traces of several substances

were found in, on or around the body,

including amphetamine, morphine,

Dramamine, codeine, Sizzlean, quinine,

Quaaludes, pre-ludes, mescaline,

methadone, metha-dust, angel dust,

Mercocet, Percocet, Darvocet,

Roxicet, Vicodin,

OxyContin, tin,

LSD, CPC, PYT,

amphetamines, barbiturates

and Elmer's Glue.

Also, several male juvenile

pornographic magazines

and a giant Nazi flag

were strewn around the body,

and the deceased was wearing

a Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard's outfit.

Needless to say,

Troy's show got canceled,

and all the networks

refused to air the reruns.

For me, a job in sales

is the same as an acting gig.

You know,

I mean, it really is.

The only difference is you, um...

you're performing

in front of a smaller crowd.

Hello, how are you?

My name is Troy Poon.

Do you have a moment?

I'd like to show you a great product.

Aren't you...?

A-a-aren't you...?

Aren't you that guy?

Th-the one on the television?

- Yes, yes, that's me.

- Oh!

Do you have a moment?

I'd like to show you the...

Why not?

- Don't mind the mess.

- The more mess, the better.

That's what this thing is for.

And as you can see,

the MegaVac cleaning machine

is extremely simple

to put together.

See? I mean,

it doesn't get any better than this.

It's beautiful.

Its sucking power is unrivalled.

Oopsie!

Let's see how the new MegaVac

cleaning machine handles the job.

Sorry to interrupt,

but could you say it?

- Excuse me?

- That little thing you say about the laundry.

Please say it for us,

just once?

- Cheese!

- Me, me, me!

- Go, go, go.

- Ready? OK, here we go.

Ready?

Everybody, "Cheese!"

Well, hello!

There are quite a lot of you here...

So today

is the first day of your auditions.

What are you experiencing

right now?

I imagine this is how Godard felt

when he was casting "Breathless ".

Yeah, yeah.

But on to the new Bruce Lee.

So, I' m thinking...

Here's what I'm thinking.

A loud, intimidating type,

like a... like a...

like a hip Genghis Khan,

you know?

Well, he needs to be the silent, calm type

with an inner strength.

Oh, yeah. Of course.

Well, that's what I meant.

You know, I don't mean "loud"

in, like, a volume sort of way,

like, "I'm Bruce Lee,"

screaming.

I meant that he has

an intense internal power.

Ronney... When you work with

these young directors,

you very often have to

give them what they need,

even though

they're not aware they need it.

You know, 90% of filmmaking,

it's the casting.

So this is the time

to lend my support to a young director.

You know, give him

my years of experience. Right now.

Well,

I love open auditions.

All bets are off

and anything is possible.

You never know when you might discover

the next Pat Morita

or the new Esther Rolle.

You got a great look.

Great look.

Roy Thunder, talent manager.

"Colored people"?

Last time I checked,

yellow was a color, my man.

The casting process isn't about

which of us is better than the other

or who's more right for the part.

Honestly, it all comes down to

covering your bases.

For example,

I happen to know

Cassie thinks I'm a great lay.

She rode me for six days last summer,

I got a spot on "Sanford and Son."

Now, that may be a coincidence,

but I'm not willing to

take the chance that it was.

You are the best in the room.

You are filled with strength

and power.

But all around you is weakness

and insecurity.

They are afraid of you because

they all know that the part is yours.

Open your eyes

and look at them.

Really look at them.

They're weak.

Weak.

Hey, is...

Hey, I think that's Breeze Loo.

Cole? Cole,

you're disrupting my exercise.

- But it's Breeze Loo!

- Who cares? You're Cole Kim.

- I gotta go meet him.

- Well, he's the competition.

But he's Breeze Loo!

Solid, baby. Solid.

Peace.

- Hey, Mr. Loo.

- Hey, brother.

- My name is Cole Kim and I'm a big fan.

- Very cool.

Yeah, I love Fist of Fhrer and

I've seen Exit the Serpent, like, 17 times.

- Oh, that's a lot of times, brother.

- And your moves, they're, like, flawless.

Yeah, how do you kick three guys

at the same time?

Oh. Saraghina,

Mr. Breeze Loo.

It was like he was sleeping

with the enemy. I couldn't believe it.

Oh, I didn't think it was a big deal.

He was a nice guy.

It made you soft.

- It made you lose your edge.

- Edge?

Yeah, you asked him

to autograph your shirt.

Well, what else

was he supposed to sign?

Cole, come on.

Look, imagine you saw Warren Beatty.

I mean, what would you do?

OK, Breeze Loo

is no Warren Beatty.

He can beat up three guys

at the same time.

Oh, Reggie!

How you doin', baby?

This cat makes me look real good

on the big screen, don't you, Reg?

Hey, baby.

I'm here to see the director.

Oh, great.

Um, your name is...?

It's Loo. Breeze Loo.

OK, all right.

Oh.

OK. Mr. Loo.

You are in group C, so it's gonna be

about an hour before we send you guys in.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, kitty cat.

I ain't here to audition.

I'm here to meet the director.

Oh.

You know,

the director is unavailable right now, so...

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