Firebreather

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Duncan:
It was the last day

of the war between humans and

the giant monsters... Kaiju.

[Snarling]

Duncan:
But to me, it's

more than just history.

It's family history.

That's my mom.

They say her bravery saved the

city that day, saved everything.

This is also the day

my mom met my dad.

Belloc:
[Growls quietly]

Duncan:
Oh, yeah...

That's my dad.

[Birds cries]

[Birds chirping]

[Dog barking]

Maybe I should skip.

Nothing says freak

like coal for lunch.

Margaret:
You're not

a freak, Duncan.

Duncan:
Get real, mom.

I eat coal.

And my skin?

You can call it pumpkin.

You can call it tangerine or... Or burnt

Sienna, but let's face it... it's orange.

Margaret:
And "orange"

you just adorable?

Duncan:
Ugh.

Margaret:
Duncan, this is a

new school, not an execution.

Just try to socialize,

make some friends.

And... Duncan:
And stop

getting into fights.

But they're the

ones who start it!

Jerks are instinctively drawn to me,

like... Homing pigeons.

Margaret:
Duncan, you're a 16-year-old boy,

like every other guy in your class, and

every kid in that school

has problems of their own.

[Smooches]

So, if you can just get along

with people and keep your

temper, everything's

going to be just fine.

Duncan:
Message received.

Margaret:
And, Duncan...

Duncan:
I love you too, mom.

Margaret:
Actually, that

time, it was "rock on."

Duncan:
[Sighs]

[Door closes]

[Dog barking]

Unh!

[Car alarm blares]

Uh-oh.

[Breathing heavily]

Wh... [Tires screech]

[Rock music playing]

Whoo! Whoo!

Yeah, Jenna!

What's going on?

[Laughing] Yeah, looking good.

Troy:
Check out the new kid.

[Chuckles]

[Tires screech]

Oh, I'm sorry.

I thought there was some bird

crap on my rear view mirror, but

now I can see it was

just your face.

[Laughter]

Duncan:
Yeah.

That's a good one.

Whoo!

[Tires screech]

[Indistinct conversations]

This is going to be the

best homecoming ever.

Bye, Jenna. See you later.

Jenna:
Ugh!

Duncan:
Hey!

[Growls]

You're so... Jenna: [Gasps]

Duncan:
So... Hot.

Jenna:
Hmm?

Duncan:
I, uh... the coffee.

[Chuckles nervously]

I meant this coffee is...

is so hot.

Jenna:
Oh, I'm so sorry!

I ask them to brew my caf con

leche at 150 degrees so it's

still hot when I get here.

Diva, right?

Uh, how did it not burn you?

Duncan:
No, no, it

feels good, actually.

I was freezing.

I don't know why they always have to

blast the AC. In these schools, anyway.

Jenna:
It must be

80 degrees in here.

Oh, whatever.

I'm on the student council, so

I'll see what I can do about

getting the heat turned on.

Duncan:
[Chuckles]

I wouldn't have pegged you for

the student council type.

Jenna:
Student council, chairwoman of the

homecoming committee... I'm that girl.

By the way, it's Jenna.

Duncan:
Ugh!

Troy:
Oops.

[Imitates slicing]

Duncan:
[Growls]

Troy:
[Laughs]

[Sighs]

I'd like to ask the whole class

to give a warm welcome to

Duncan Xerxes Absalom Belphegor Gressil

Pythius Wu Fan... Duncan: Uh, yeah, just

"Duncan" is fine, Ms. Dreakford.

Oh, all right.

Take a seat, Duncan.

Isabel:
Hey, Duncan,

sit here with Kenny.

He doesn't have a lab partner.

Ken:
Uh, thanks, Isabel.

Duncan:
Hi. Duncan.

Ken:
Ken Rogers.

Duncan:
Kenny Rogers, huh?

Do you know when to hold 'em,

know when to fold 'em?

Ken:
No, not even a little.

Like reptiles and insects,

amphibians are ectotherms and

cannot internally regulate their

body temperature... what we used

to call "cold-blooded."

Isabel:
Why did we stop?

Did the amphibians object to

being labeled "cold-blooded"?

[Laughter]

Jenna:
No, Mrs. Dreakford, this

is so wrong for so many reasons.

Beyond the obvious animal-cruelty

issues, students have a right...

Uh, Jen, that'll be enough.

Jenna:
No, a duty to refuse

to do anything unbelievably gross.

That's quite enough.

Jenna:
Forcing us to mutilate these

helpless innocent animals.

Duncan:
[Sighs]

Jenna:
...Without offering a

choice in the matter is clearly

an abuse of the authority of the

school board... Jenna, just zip it.

Jenna:
...

And a just plain bad example to set.

Duncan:
[Gasps]

[Snarls]

Jenna:
...In case, you know, some sick kids

actually might enjoy cutting up frogs and

pulling out their guts.

It's inhumane... Duncan: Whoa!

[Students gasping]

Aah! Oh, no!

They're waterboarding Kermit!

[Students gasping]

Whoo! He's a jumper!

Look out!

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Ken:
Uh... Duncan: Whoa!

Ohh!

Aah!

What is that?

[Laughter]

Jenna:
Are you done?

What is up with you?

You make Troy look mature.

Stop it!

[Nail scraping]

Settle down, everyone.

[School bell rings]

[Indistinct conversations]

I can't believe that jerk.

What a dork.

Jenna:
And I actually thought he was

kind of cute until he did that.

Duncan:
[Sighs]

Ken:
Nicely done, man.

Duncan:
Just don't

mention it, all right?

Bad joke... that's all.

[Indistinct conversations]

Isabel:
Okay, Mr. Belphegor Gressil

Pythius, what's your secret?

Duncan:
Hair gel, extra hold.

Isabel:
Ha!

How come your name is like an

a-list of mythological bad boys?

Care to explain?

Duncan:

Unconventional parents.

You really know your

Cryptozoology.

Ken:
Oh, yeah.

Isabel loves all that

a creepy stuff.

She's a giant monster fangirl.

Isabel:
"Monster" is in

the eye of the beholder.

They're Kaiju, Kenny.

Ken:
Fine. Whatever.

[Scoffs] Sorry.

Isabel:
They're not monsters.

They fight us because we

keep trying to kill them.

16 years since Belloc was last

seen, and we keep thinking the

Kaiju are a threat?

What's the matter?

Duncan:
Ugh!

[Laughter]

[Growls]

Isabel:
What sphincters.

Shouldn't evolution have weeded

those guys out of the gene pool

eons ago?

Duncan:
No, cockroaches have

remained unchanged for millions

of years.

Isabel:
Well, you're clearly

not a moron, so what was up with

the idiot dance back in class?

Duncan:
Did you like it?

Isabel:
I've got some notes.

But I liked the part where you

hid something in your jacket.

You gonna show me?

Duncan:
Just keep it quiet.

[Indistinct conversations]

Isabel:
No way!

Gomorradon... unreal!

Duncan:
It's kind of

like a little tiny Kaiju.

Isabel:
It's a gomorradon,

my dear Duncan.

These things live on Kaijus.

They scout, warn of danger, and

live off the slime that forms

between their scales.

Duncan:
Sorry I asked.

What's it doing here, and how

come you know all this?

Isabel:
I read books on this

stuff all the time... small press.

Watch it.

Whatever you do, don't...

Duncan:
Ow!

Isabel:
[Gasps]

Let it go.

Duncan:
[Breathing heavily]

Unh!

Ugh!

Isabel:
[Chuckles]

Duncan:
[Chuckles]

[Crickets chirping]

[Footsteps]

Right here... this is the one.

This is definitely

Jenna's locker.

[Laughs]

[Grunting] Hye!

Ow!

[Whimpering]

You guys are morons.

Give me your library card.

And that's how it's done.

[Laughter]

Barnes:
All right,

ladies, line up.

I'm your new gym teacher.

You can call me coach Barnes or,

once you come to love me, "blitz."

Duncan:
Hey, "blitz," I was

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