First Love Page #8

when she saw you?

Oh, I didn't speak to Barbara,

Aunt Grace or Walter, either.

Smart girl. Run up

to bed now. Good night.

Good night.

The family must have stopped

someplace on the way...

Yeah, stopped in jail.

Kept 'em there

'til midnight. Should have

kept 'em there longer.

Jail? What happened?

Don't know.

They called me to get

my lawyer. Couldn't get him.

Couldn't remember

his telephone number.

Couldn't even remember his name.

Couldn't remember anything.

I don't understand.

Had a good time,

you said.

You knew about

UncleJason?

I know a lot of things.

I know every cloud

has a silver lining.

They went to jail;

you went to the ball.

UncleJim, you...

Oh!

Car coming up the driveway.

This is all a secret.

I'll never tell a soul.

Make my life miserable

if you do. Yours too.

It's Barbara.

You'd better scat.

Good night.

Hurry up!

The duchess is coming!

[Car Door Slams]

Are you asleep?

Uh-huh. Ooh, that light

hurts my eyes.

- I just wanted to see

that you were in.

- I'm in. Good night.

Have you been in all night?

What time is it?

- You were home all night?

- UncleJason didn't arrive.

Sorry if I interrupted

your beauty sleep.

That's all right.

So you were at the party.

Yes.

And you sang.

Um-hmm.

I sang.

Didn't I tell you

to stay here?

I didn't want to.

Oh, you didn't want to.

Nope. I knew UncleJason

wasn't coming and I had

a chance to go, so I went.

- You mean you sneaked in.

- There's nothing you can do that

could spoil this night for me.

Would it spoil things if I asked

how you turned your graduation

dress into a Paris creation?

OIlie made it out of some

silver lace I had. Not that

it's any of your business.

And that wrap. She made that

out of a pair of pet ermine

she's been keeping?

A friend of mine said I could...

I'm not going to quarrel

with you, Barbara.

I'm so sorry I wasn't there.

You must have been wonderful.

Thank you. Now, if you're

through being sarcastic...

Even Ted said he never

had so much fun.

He thought you were

a night club singer pretending

to be somebody important,

so he decided

to play up to it.

It's so funny. And his

imitation of you dancing with

your eyes shut is wonderful.

People just roll on the floor

when he does it. He does it

over and over again.

And leaving your slipper.

That was so touching.

Ted's going to use it

to try and find you.

He wants to hire you

to play the same joke

on a friend of his in Boston.

You get out of here.

This is my room and l...

Oh, you want to be alone.

You have so much to think about,

so much to dream over.

Get out!

All right.

I'll go down to the kitchen

and tell your chums

what a success you were.

[Sobbing]

Good morning, sir.

Good morning.

Your orange juice, sir.

Um-hmm.

Your coffee black

as usual?

Um-hmm.

Anything else, sir?

Not a thing.

Then this is good-bye,

sir.

Going someplace?

I'm leaving, sir.

Miss Barbara sacked

the whole staff last night...

when she found out we'd helped

Miss Connie get to the party.

What?

Oh, that's all right, sir.

Not one of us would have stayed

after Miss Connie left.

Connie left?

Bag and baggage, sir.

We wanted her to stay

and have a talk with you, sir,

but she said she had

made enough trouble.

And didn't leave a note?

She said she'd

write to you, sir,

when she was settled

and making her own way.

I do think she was trying

to make it easier...

for us all.

I'd like to talk

to the other servants, George.

They've been

gone hours, sir.

[Mrs. Clinton]Jimmie.!

Jimmie, you have to

drive me into town.

We have no chauffeur.

Did you know that Connie had left?

Yes, so has everyone else.

No cook, no butler, no maids.

And you're not with us

anymore, are you, George?

- No, madam, I'm not.

- Such a pity.

You're such a good butler too.

It was nothing personal. Just a bad

constellation for everybody.

It won't happen again.

Connie's a very young girl

to be out on her own.

It's not right.

I'm going to look up her

horoscope and find out what evil

influence brought this about.

I'm also going to see

if it's a good time

to employ new people.

We have to wait

until the stars are right.

I'm hungry.

The cook has left,

Mr. Walter.

Father, can you make coffee?

Do you know that your cousin

has left this house?

I only know

I'm hungry.

Don't you think we better

do something practical

about Connie?

I'm doing the most

practical thing in the world:

Checking her

complementary influence

againstJupiter's emphasis.

Then there's a trend

of depression that's been...

[Continues Indistinct]

Jim, what are you doing?

Jim, it's taken me years

to work that all out!

I never liked

this thing, either!

Jim, stop it!

Are you losing your mind?

Now, you listen to me,

Gracie Schultz!

I've had all the twaddle

I'm gonna have about

the eight and ninth house...

and the influence of this and

that, and Leo being in Libra

that I'm gonna have!

I oughta make you

eat these things!

But if I ever hear

another peep outta you

about the sun, moon or stars,

I promise you by the big

and little dipper,

that you won't be only

talkin' about stars,

you'll be seein' 'em!

[Sobbing]

Let the heavens take care

of themselves!

And you get down to earth!

Aurgh!

[Sobbing]

Oh, Jim, you brute!

Don't flatter me!

- I've only just begun!

- Father, have you gone crazy?

[Sobbing Continues]

Oh, you're up.

That's fine.

I was hoping I wouldn't have to

go and pull you out of bed.

Mother!

Why did you make Connie

leave this house?

Now, Father.

Don't "Father" me! I know

what you did and for once...

you're gonna pay

the consequences,

you selfish...

little dressed up ingrate!

I won't be talked to

like that!

Then we'll stop talking!

You come in here!

Mother!

You're a child and I'm gonna

treat you like a child.!

[Barbara Protesting]

[Barbara Yelling]

Daddy, don't.!

[Mr. Clinton Spanking Barbara]

[Yelling Continues]

I'll pay you for this.

Oh, no, sir,

this one's on me.

There's one more thing

I want you to...

Don't you ever do anything

but sit sprawled out

in that chair?

But, Father, I have

a theory, you know.

Really?

A theory of relaxation.

I worked it all out myself.

In that chair?

Um-hmm.

It's taken years.

I believe that one

through relaxation,

prolonged and constant,

can store up sufficient energy

to surmount any emergency

that arises...

where vitality is called for

and force is needed.

Simple, isn't it?

Almost too simple.

You see, I don't spend energy,

I hoard it.

Sort of sit on it?

Exactly.

I've already proved all forms

of exercise are wrong.

Say a man gets up

and does his daily dozen.

The first time

he stretches,

bends over,

touches the floor,

he's spent 14 pounds

of energy.

To get back to

his normal position, how much

do you think he spends?

Uh, from the position

you were in just now?

Um-hmm. Identical with it.

Just about...

Practically none, because

I'd help him like that!

Very well bowled, sir.

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