Five Easy Pieces Page #7

PALM:

How far are you going to?

BOBBY:

Washington.

PALM:

We'll get off in Washington and

hook another ride.

BOBBY:

Where are you going?

PALM:

Alaska.

BOBBY:

Alaska? Are you on vacation?

TERRY:

(sullenly)

She wants to live there, because

she thinks it's cleaner.

BOBBY:

Cleaner than what?

PALM:

(to Terry)

You don't have to tell everybody

about it. Pretty soon they'll all

go there and it won't be so clean.

BOBBY:

How do you know it's clean?

PALM:

I saw a picture of it. Alaska is

very clean. It appeared to look

very white to me... Don't you

think?

BOBBY:

Yeah. That's before the big thaw.

She leans forward, looking annoyed.

PALM:

Before the what?

EXT. BOBBY'S CAR - NORTHERN HIGHWAY - DAY

(COUNTRY & WESTERN INSTRUMENTAL OVER:)

ON THE CAR:

moving through the Redwood country above San

Francisco.

INT. BOBBY'S CAR - HIGHWAY - DAY

ON BOBBY:

bored, as he drives. Beside him, Rayette primps in

the sunvisor mirror.

ON THE BACK SEAT

Terry lights a cigarette while Palm, staring

morosely out the window, goes into a soliloquy:

PALM:

I had to leave this place. I got

depressed, seeing all the crap. And

the thing is, they're making more

crap, you know? They've got so many

stores and stuff and junk full of

crap, I can't believe it.

BOBBY:

Who?

PALM:

Who? People, that's who! Pretty

soon there won't be room for

anyone.

They're selling more crap that

people go and buy than you can

imagine. Oofh! Crap! I believe

everybody should have a big hole

where they throw in all this stuff

and burn it.

Rayette leans around to her.

RAYETTE:

There'd never be a hole big enough.

Now took at me, for instance, when

I was just one person, before

Bobby, I had so much garbage

collectin' onto me every day, I was

thinkin' about gettin a dispose

all...

PALM:

A dispose-all, what's that but more

crap? I've never seen such crap.

Oofh, I don't know how people get

up in the morning.

TERRY:

Mass production is what does it.

PALM:

What do you mean "mass"... I have

to come out and tell you, you're

not that clean, either.

TERRY:

Wait a minute. I'm not that neat,

maybe, but I am clean.

PALM:

Well, you're not that bad, but some

people... I mean, people's homes,

just filth. I've been in people's

homes...

TERRY:

In my personal observation, I think

that more people are neat than are

clean...

PALM:

In my personal thing, I don't see

that. I'm seeing more filth. A lot

of filth. What they need to do

every day, no, once in a while, is

a cockroach thing, where they spray

the homes. And uh...

can you imagine, if their doors

were painted a pretty color, and

they had a pot outside, with...

TERRY:

Yeah, it could be adorable...

PALM:

And they picked up! I mean, it

wouldn't be filthy, with Coke

bottles and whiskey, and those

signs everywhere...

She gestures angrily out the window at the roadside

billboards.

PALM (CONT'D)

... they oughta be erased! All

those signs, selling crap, and more

crap, and, I don't know, it's

disgusting, I don't even want to

talk about it!

Bobby starts to say something:

BOBBY:

Well...

PALM:

It's just filthy. People are dirty.

I think that's the biggest thing

that's wrong with people. I think

they wouldn't be as violent if they

were clean, because then they

wouldn't have anybody to pick on...

Oofh... Dirt...

RAYETTE:

Well...

PALM:

Not dirt. See, dirt isn't bad. It's

filth. Filth is bad. That's what

starts maggots and riots...

She suddenly leans over to the front seat, pointing

to a semi ahead.

PALM (CONT'D)

Hey, follow that truck. They know

the best places to stop.

RAYETTE:

That's an old maid's tale.

PALM:

Bullshit! Truck drivers know the

best eating places on the road.

Rayette turns around, asserting:

RAYETTE:

Salesmen and cops are the ones. If

you'd ever waitressed, honey, you'd

know.

PALM:

Don't call me "honey," mack.

RAYETTE:

Don't call me "mack," honey.

PALM:

I wouldn't be a waitress. They're

nasty and full of crap.

RAYETTE:

You better hold onto your tongue!

PALM:

(giving her the finger)

Hold onto this.

Terry laughs.

RAYETTE:

Just one minute, you! Don't you

ever talk to me like that!

BOBBY:

Shut up! All of you!

INT. ROADSIDE CAFE - DAY

All four are seated at a booth. The women have

given their orders and a WAITRESS stands above

Bobby, waiting for his:

BOBBY:

(looking at his menu)

I'll have an omelette, no potatoes.

Give me tomatoes instead, and wheat

toast instead of rolls.

The waitress indicates something on the menu with

the butt of her pencil.

WAITRESS:

No substitutions.

BOBBY:

What does that mean? You don't have

any tomatoes?

WAITRESS:

(annoyed)

No. We have tomatoes.

BOBBY:

But I can't have any. Is that what

you mean?

WAITRESS:

Only what's on the menu...

(again, indicating with

her pencil)

A Number Two:
Plain omelette. It

comes with cottage fries and rolls.

BOBBY:

I know what it comes with, but

that's not what I want.

WAITRESS:

I'll come back when you've made up

your mind...

She starts to move away and Bobby detains her.

BOBBY:

Wait, I've made up my mind. I want

a plain omelette, forget the

tomatoes, don't put potatoes on the

plate, and give me a side of wheat

toast and a cup of coffee.

WAITRESS:

I'm sorry, we don't have side

orders of toast. I can give you an

English muffin or a coffee roll.

BOBBY:

What do you mean, you don't have

side orders of toast? You make

sandwiches, don't you?

WAITRESS:

Would you like to talk to the

manager?

PALM:

Hey, mack!

BOBBY:

(to Palm)

Shut up.

(to the waitress)

You have bread, don't you, and a

toaster of some kind?

WAITRESS:

I don't make the rules.

BOBBY:

Okay, I'll make it as easy for you

as I can. Give me an omelette,

plain, and a chicken salad sandwich

on wheat toast -- no butter, no

mayonnaise, no lettuce -- and a cup

of coffee.

She begins writing down his order, repeating it

sarcastically:

WAITRESS:

One Number Two, and a chicken sal

san -- hold the butter, the mayo,

the lettuce -- and a cup of

coffee... Anything else?

BOBBY:

Now all you have to do is hold the

chicken, bring me the toast, charge

me for the sandwich, and you

haven't broken any rules.

WAITRESS:

(challenging him)

You want me to hold the chicken.

BOBBY:

Yeah. I want you to hold it between

your knees.

The other three laugh, and the waitress points to a

"Right to Refuse" sign above the counter.

WAITRESS:

You see that sign, sir?!

Bobby glances over at it, then back to her.

WAITRESS (CONT'D)

You'll all have to leave, I'm not

taking any more of your smartness

and your sarcasm!

He smiles politely at her, then:

BOBBY:

You see this sign?

He reaches his arm out and "clears" the table for

her.

INT. BOBBY'S CAR - ON THE ROAD - DAY

ON PALM:

in the back seat.

PALM:

Fantastic! That you could figure

all that out, and lay that down on

her, to come up with a way you

could get your toast.

BOBBY:

I didn't get it, did I?

PALM:

No, but it was very clever... I

would of just punched her out.

EXT. BOBBY'S CAR - HIGHWAY - DAY

(COUNTRY & WESTERN OVER:)

ON THE CAR:

moving through the Northwest coastal region.

INT. BOBBY'S CAR - HIGHWAY - DAY

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