Five Weeks in a Balloon Page #3

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- You don't look it.

It's a common mistake.

I'm a next-door neighbor from Niagara Falls.

Yeah, well, will you be a good neighbor and

steer this flying booby hatch back to Zanzibar?

- Steer? You're joking, of course.

- What do you mean by that?

Only the wind steers a balloon.

Where it goes, we go.

Well, then, how do you expect

to find a target 4,000 miles away?

That's simple. The wind blows

east to west. We just hitch a ride.

But we can change course if necessary.

- How do you do that?

- Well, there are plenty of crosswinds up there.

We go up, test different levels...

till we find a breeze

blowing in the right direction.

I hear you talking, but it

still doesn't make any sense.

And if something gets in our way,

we just blow the whistle.

The whistle?

Hush, man! Be quiet!

I tell you, the slavers

are right here, right now.

You are 200 miles off.

They are here in the Segalia foothills.

Sir, you are wrong. They

are at the Senegal River.

Piffle.

Here am I

What a lucky guy

As the world goes floating by

In the open air

without a care

Five weeks in a balloon

I wouldn't trade

my place today

With the king of Mandalay

High and low and away we go

Five weeks in a balloon

With the wonders

of nature below me

And the limitless sky

up above me

I will touch the stars

and bow to Mars

Five weeks in a balloon

During the day

I will ride on a sunbeam

During the night

I will rest on a moonbeam

I'll be lulled to sleep

No counting sheep

Five weeks in a balloon

When I'm floating

high up in the blue

There is nothing I can't do

I'm taller than an elephant

and twice as powerful too

So come with me

and you will see

Why I'm happy as can be

And you'll be too

when you've been through

Five weeks in a balloon

Five weeks in a balloon

There you are, Sir Henry.

If our instruments do not

play us false, I should place us here.

- Agreed?

- Agreed.

- Take her down, Jacques.

- Down?

Aye, we do not fly after dark.

We might hit a mountain.

- Supper when we land, gentlemen.

- Now, wait a minute.

What if the natives down there

want supper too- us?

You know, they could sneak up

on us during the night.

Oh, that'd be very bad form. It's an axiom

of warfare:
No fighting after sundown.

Well, I hope the natives

know the rules.

Three hundred miles today,

gentlemen. 'Tis a bonny pace.

If the wind holds, we'll beat

the slavers with time to spare.

Coming down!

Easy, boy. Easy.

Slowly now.

There's no place to land down there.

Gently now.

It's a forest full of trees.

Steady, Jacques.

Not a sidewalk caf in sight.

Aye, they don't serve

the guests here. They eat 'em.

Nothing worse than a man-eating lion.

I hope I'm not his man.

General, what do you think that is?

You're the expert

on African affairs.

I've heard that often.

That is a rampaging rhinoceros.

Vicious brutes. Better get your gun.

Aye, a vicious brute indeed.

Another rhinoceros, General?

Careful, boy.

That's my prize teapot.

My constant companion

since Khartoum.

Never fear, General.

I'll guard it with my life.

Dinner's ready, Mr. O'Shay.

Ah, boiled rice, eh?

Got any chutney?

Mr. O'Shay, this

is not a fashion parade.

My dear Professor,

I always dress for dinner.

I must say, Professor,

the lad shows good breeding.

I have always felt that

the mark of a gentleman-

- Spare us your platitudes. The vittles'll be getting cold.

- Oh.

And spare us your bickerings, and let us

drink to the success of a very worthy mission.

I'll drink to the success of my mission...

which is to get back to civilization...

and have Uncle Cornelius sue you

for breach of contract.

- Uncle Cornelius.

- What? So you're Randolph's nephew.

Now I understand why he wanted

to get you out of his hair.

Be that as it may,

you're not honoring your contract.

My contract with your uncle

was to traverse East Africa.

- That's right.

- And we are traversing it.

I never said we would not travel further.

So here's to the good ship Jupiter.

Well, I could have sworn

I had not touched my wine.

There's plenty more, Professor.

Don't I get any chicken?

- Well, I gave you some!

- Where?

I must be getting

jungle fever. Here's a nice wing.

Great Scott!

A stowaway!

- Hi.

- Where'd you come from?

Oh, Makia hide up there, then hide here.

Why'd you do such a silly thing?

Pasha O'Shay, he save me.

Pasha O'Shay, he own me now.

- No?

- No.

Where you go, me go.

I don't want her.

Well, give her away.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

- You take her, Jacko.

- Not me.

- I pass to the general.

- Oh, good heavens, no.

Lady Vining would never approve.

She's yours, Professor.

You flatter me, General.

No one wish me?

- Me go back to Zanzibar.

- Stop that girl.

Hey, wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

You can't go anywhere.

You'll never get past the first lion.

Then me stay.

All own me now. Me eat.

Well, it seems we have no alternative.

All the way across Africa without

a chaperone? It's most irregular.

That is not a rhinoceros

either, General.

Our table seems to attract

the strangest guests.

It certainly does, General.

Quite.

All right, African expert,

what would you say those drums mean?

I never heard 'em in Khartoum.

I'd wager it's some sort of a message.

A brilliant deduction, General.

Remarkable animal.

By Jove, a simian sot.

Go on. Pour yourself some coffee.

Here, here. Like this.

There you go.

How's that?

- Coffee?

- Please.

What's the matter?

Couldn't you sleep?

Drums bad. Maybe we better

go back to Zanzibar.

You afraid, little one?

Evil out there.

Things crawl, bite, gobble up Makia.

You protect me, no?

Just a moment.

Come here, you.

Now, I want you

to get back on guard duty.

Three's a crowd, even in the jungle.

Yeah, come on. Let's go. Come on.

You were saying?

You maybe buy Makia,

keep her for your very own.

- Buy?

- Mm-hmm.

People just don't buy each other.

It's not civilized.

How then you get woman?

Well, when two people love

each other, they just get married.

How you make that- get married?

Well, you just buy a license...

go to a preacher...

and he legally makes you man and wife.

How much cost this license?

- Oh, just a few shillings. That's all.

- Ah.

What does "ah" mean?

Oh, in Zanzibar, girl like me

cost many English pounds.

In London, you buy girl legal

for just few shillings.

Only difference I see-

Must be plenty girls there

to buy them for so cheap.

- You don't understand.

- Oh, I do.

Civilized ways is to make laws so you

men buy women for almost for nothing.

- Cast off, Jacques!

- No! No! Stay on the ground where it's safe!

The general's right!

Head for the storm cellar!

Our only chance

is to ride it out.

On the ground there,

we'll be torn to bits.

- Fergusson, you fool, you!

- Jacques, the controls!

Can you fix it, Jacques?

The broken plug

won't hold much longer.

- We must land.

- That should make you happy, General.

Mal de mer runs in my family.

In his family too?

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