Flatland Page #5

Eeee, eeee, eeee.

Would you like... No, of course not.

If I may then... Eeee, eeee, eeee..

. Oh. A Prist Circle! Eeee, eeee, eeee...

- What on earth is that horrid

sound she spits out?

- Her ..Her... peace cry?

- What in the world is a peace cry?

- How can you not know...

- what a...

- Indulge me. Explain.

- See she's a line.

The Law states that she has

to cry out as a warning.

A locator noise.

She could kill someone accidentally

if they don't see her.

- They could move right into her

without ever knowing she...

- How clever your little law is!

Forgive me, sir. I must feel you.

You have no... no angles, not a one.

Are you... a perfect circle?

- Yes and no.

- AGHH! Two eyes! Agh! Oh, disgusting!

- Oh! I'm going to vomit!

- Oh, calm down, silly little square.

I am a more perfect being than you.

- I am a circle made up of circles.

- Argh! Two eyes!

I am perfection.

I am A Sphere,

- CEO of Messiah, Inc!

- A what? Where did you come from?

- From... space, where else?

- But aren't you already in space?

- What do you know of space?

- Space is length and width.

No. There is a third dimension,

- of length, width, and height.

- Please, your... circular Lordship,

what direction is this third dimension?

- Up. Down.

- North and south?

Nothing of the kind.

A direction in which you cannot look,

because you have no eye in your side.

- But I have an eye. It's on my northwest side.

- In order to see in space...

you'd need an eye, not on your outside,

but on your inside,

- looking up or down.

- An eye in my stomach!

Please, sir, this is New Year's Eve...

there were horrible riots yesterday...

my only brother may be dead...

I have family obligations...

- This is no time for jokes...

- I didn't come to joke!

I am from the Land of Three Dimensions.

3D.

I looked down and saw

the plane on which you live.

I can see into your churches, your ministries,

your banks, your houses.

Even your insides and stomachs!

Everything open and exposed to my view.

I saw your five sons fighting each

other with rubber swords.

And your other son, the hexagonal one,

was sulking off in his room.

Likes to color himself.

How do you think I knew that?

We have a name for people like you.

- Yes?

- Perverts! There are laws, sir!

- There are...

- I am what I say I am!

- You must have drilled through the walls.

- Holes!

- Holes! What holes?

- I tell you I came from three dimensional space!

- You could have filled them back in!

Difficult little creature.

- Holes!

- I'm not difficult, I'm a lawyer!

- Let's start over.

When you see your wife, what do you see?

- I mean in geometrical terms?

- If you think I'll say a one-dimensional line,

you're wrong.

Every educated person knows

that women are very thin rectangles,

possessing complete two-dimensionality,

length and width,

- just like...

- No, no, no!

You also see her height.

If a line were just width and length,

it wouldn't occupy space.

- It would be invisible.

- What?

When we see a line,

we see length and width and brightness.

- Is brightness a dimension?

- No! Height is a dimension,

like length, only in a different direction.

In your world,

- height is just very, very small.

- Point out this direction otherwise leave me alone!

- Listen!

To you, Flatland is your whole world.

To me it's a flat plane,

on top of which you move around.

You call me a circle.

No. I'm an infinite number of circles,

A Sphere, a solid.

When I enter your world you see a circle.

For instance...

Last night I saw your dream about Lineland.

- What?

- As clear as a movie on your brain.

- Movie?

- Nevermind. Look.

The King of Lineland saw you

not as a square, but a point.

It's the same for me in Flatland!

You're seeing only a slice of me!

Watch.

I'm going to rise up and down in space.

Watch!

See?

Up, down. Up, down.

- And now I'm going to rise out

of your world altogether.

- Where did you go?

- Where are you?

- Here!

- Here!

- Am I still dreaming?

- Convinced?

-No, it's a Chromatist trick!

- Idiot!

It's no trick.

- I thought I was dealing with an adult!

- You're a spy from the Northern Kingdom!

- I know it!

- Politics? I hate politics!

War is merely an extension of politics,

my friends...

just as murder is an extension of business.

I am pleased to announce that

our generals have reported back...

we have successfully crushed

the Chromatist rebellion!

Good job sir! Great work! At last we have safety!

Now let's kill the irregulars!

Ah! B Square!

My friends, we have B Square to thank

for orchestrating the maneuver.

B Square, you have saved our great Republic!

Good show old boy... what a hero...

never seen anything like it...

he's fantastic at logistics...

But I'm afraid our job

isn't finished, my friends.

There is even now a greater

threat that will emerge.

- This very evening!

- Greater threat?

It will rock the very foundations

of our civilization!

We must be ready.

B Square, I'll be depending

upon you for logistics support.

Can't you understand anything?

Look. If a point moves north,

and leaves a luminous wake,

what name would you give that wake?

- A... a straight line.

- And how many points would it have?

- Two.

- Now let's move that line parallel to itself.

A distance equal to its length.

What would you call its wake?

- A square.

- And how many sides does a square have?

- How many angles? Points?

- Four sides, four angles, four points.

Now imagine a square

moving parallel to itself...

- Upward.

- What do you mean? Northward?

UP, upward.

Pass every point in a square UP,

so that no point passes through

any position previously occupied.

- Each point draws a NEW line on its own.

- You are hurting my brain!

Look, we began with a single point.

One point produces a line with two points.

One line produces a square with four points.

One, two, four.

What's next?

- Eight?

- Yes!

It produces a Something which you do not know

the name for but which we call acube.

- With eight points.

- This cube has sides?

Yes, but what you call sides,

we call faces of a solid in the 3D world...

- How many sides?

- A point has zero sides.

A line has two sides. A square has four sides.

Zero, two, four. Get it?

- And now the next number would be... ?

- Six?

Yes! You see it now, don't you?

You're a monster! You Devil! You Die! You Die!

What is wrong with your species?

I see a brain, but when it comes to imagination,

all you try and do is kill something!

I come for an apostle of the Three Dimensions

- and find a fool instead!

- I'm no fool!

We're only allowed to appear in

your world every thousand years!

You've been chosen!

I can't go change directions

and find someone else now!

- There isn't any time!

- I'm just an attorney. Not an apostle!

Okay then, how would you convince me

if our roles were reversed?

- How would you convince a jury?

- I would have to show them. Directly show them.

Of course. Action, not words!

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