Flawless Page #6

Goddamn, Carmine!

I sent you an hour ago! Come on!

- Let him stay!

- Hey!

Leave the guy alone. Leave him alone

Carmine, I love you!

Oh, my God. She shot me.

Oh, my God. I'm scarred!

And the big contest is tomorrow night.

It was an accident. I'm sorry.

- I told you not to wear those guns.

- Look, you 're so stupid!

Oh, Rusty. I shot my best friend in

the tit with my cufflink. I didn't mean it.

You know

I never would have believed that we

could have gotten through this together.

I mean, I can't believe that I could.

I mean, that I could...

you know, actually be of some

kind of help to someone like you.

You know, the big hero and all

you know?

I'm no big hero. I'm...

I'm scared.

I need a drink.

Well, what could you be scared of?

What's the worst fear?

That you'll fall on the street?

Someone'll make fun of you?

I mean, what?

I'm... I'm afraid that women won't

want to sleep with me any more.

Well, guess what?

Some of them won't.

So you'll just have to find

the ones that will, Walt.

And just remember

this is who you are, Waldo.

You 're Walt "the Wall" Koontz,

a true hero.

Who's the little guy?

Joe.

Joe.

Joe and me were friends for years.

Best friends.

He really wanted to better himself.

I really admired him.

He went to school

nights and on weekends...

to learn computers.

Got a...

big job in Asia with computers.

I drove him to the airport...

and off Joe went to Asia.

Two days later, the bank...

has $200.000 missing.

Oh. Oh, Christ.

Somehow done from

the inside with computers.

Nobody ever heard from Joe again.

I drove Joe to the airport.

Got used by my best friend.

I never told anybody that.

Some hero, huh?

Well...

Since it's confession night...

at Our Lady of Perpetual Disco

I'm gonna tell you something

that I've never told anyone.

I've got...

Mr. Z's money.

I got here right when you were being

rushed to the hospital, you know.

And when the cops left, I went up.

Cos Amber had given me her key and told

me where she had always hid her money.

She always had some money

set aside for her funeral

cos she always knew that she was

gonna die young. And of course, she did.

Poor baby.

So, where is it?

Right in here, honey

where Momma always knows where it is.

Right here in hips, ass

and titty city, sweetheart.

It's gonna pay for my operation.

And when I come back

you know, a new woman

I'm gonna give Amber a funeral

and a monument

and an eternal flame, honey.

Just like Princess Diana.

Wait a minute. You said that...

You said that you needed

the money from the lessons, right?

But if I was your your cover?

So all the sewing jobs

the crying poor

the... my lessons

that was all that was all so that

Leonard would not suspect you?

Wait a minute, honey.

I mean, you...

You used me cos of my condition.

Excuse me!

Check your playbill, Judge Ito.

You came to me.

That's cos I needed help.

And you used me.

Truth, baby?

You wanna play f***ing truth?

You needed someone you weren't

ashamed to be crippled in front of.

All right? Someone you

thought was so beneath you.

A worse freak so you could feel superior

and still be the big f***ing man.

At least...

At least I'm a real man.

Everybody, including Wolf

f***ing Blitzer on CN N

knows you don't think

I'm a real man, honey.

All right, what? Cos I don't... What?

Sh*t in the woods? I don't shoot guns?

You know? Let me tell

you something, baby.

It takes a shitload more courage

to wake up and face my life

than anything you've ever

f***in' dreamed of, all right?

You couldn't handle real adversity, honey.

That's the truth.

Truth? You want f***in' truth?

You 're never gonna be a woman.

You're an ugly fat f*ggot. There's truth.

You're an ugly f***in' fat f*ggot.

I am more man than you will ever be

and more woman than you will ever get.

- You wish!

- Yeah, I do wish! All right, honey?

And while the hate was pouring

out of you, you didn't stutter.

Now haul your sorry, crippled ass

out of my house. Move it, gimpy.

Watch your mouth!

Or you'll beat the sh*t out of me?

You r days of beating the sh*t are over!

Face it, Waldo, your hero days are over.

And you're a f***in' f*ggot.

I may be a female impersonator, but you

my friend, are a male impersonator!

F*** you!

Yeah, life's a b*tch so I became one!

Oh, my God. Look who's here, Sal.

We gotta say hello.

Hey, Walt. How you doin'?

Hey, Tommy.

It's good to see you, man.

Welcome back.

That's OK.

I'm goin' over there.

We'll talk to you.

Right.

Hey, Walter.

How are you?

OK.

I've really missed you.

Well, thanks.

Mmm, flowers. For me?

Not exactly.

Excuse me.

Hi.

Hi.

I brought you some flowers.

Thanks.

You don't wanna dance?

This f***in' c*nt did not deserve to win!

She's not a true f***in' beauty!

This contest is fixed!

Hey, tell your stories walking, girls!

This group this way. You girls that way!

This is what gives

drag queens a bad name.

You two are banned

from the contest next year.

- Maybe so, hefty.

- Yeah. You 're old and Im young

and I'm gonna live

to piss on your f***in' grave.

Hello, buzzard!

This was the first time I...

since this... happened.

I was real nervous.

But you were great.

You were great.

You were? I was nervous.

You just need to be around somebody.

I don't know, that... that likes you...

just the way you are.

Somebody else said that to me.

Said Some girls won't like you like this.

"You gotta find the one that will".

Yeah, well, they didn't bullshit you

They told you the truth

whoever it was.

She must be a real good friend, huh?

Why do you say she?

I don't know. It sounds like

something a woman would say.

Why? Was it a man?

Well, not... not exactly.

Well, whatever. Whoever it was...

sounds like a good friend.

Good evening, Mr. Koontz. If you hear

anything in the building later tonight...

- Like what?

- Anything at all.

Just ignore it. Pretend it's not happening.

Do you know the phrase

Two closed ears, one closed mouth?

That's my motto and I follow it. To hear

nothing, to see nothing, to speak nothing.

I... I don't care

what goes on in this rat trap.

Who are you kiddin'? You've got

the biggest ears, the biggest nose

and the biggest mouth

of anybody I ever met

which makes you the biggest a**hole.

Ooh, my wig!

Is everyone dry? All right, girls.

Good night.

Good night, Mama.

I love you. We're starting

on all new songs next week.

Hey, why don't we go upstairs

and show Mr. My Left Foot that we won?

Walt is history, honey.

He doesn't like us any more. I love you.

Bu t I still like him.

Taxi! Hey!

What the f***in'...

So it's that kind of party, is it?

Where's my money?

Honey, this is where I came in.

Do I look like someone

who's got your money?

This looks like you got my money.

$25.000 deposit for an operation.

I earned that money.

$35.000 for a complete series

of female hormone therapy.

$25.000 for extensive

psychological testing before therapy.

Another $40.000 due.

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