Flushed Away Page #3

All you have to do is get me home to Kensington...

...and I'll make you rich beyond your wildest dreams.

How do I know this ain't just a load of old rubbish?

Well, I suppose you'll just have to trust me.

I must be out of my mind.

All right. You've got yourself a deal.

Go on.

You too.

Your own hand.

Where are those idiots?

It's so hard to get good help these days, my boys.

That's right. Come on out, my lovelies.

Cheer your old dad up.

Poor Daddy, surrounded by filthy rats

in this joyless, sunless void!

But don't worry, little men.

Daddy will get rid of them all! He will.

They'll all be deady-weady.

Did you find it?

Did you find it?

Well, we got most of it, boss.

Forget the ruby! It's the master cable that I want.

The one that grubby creature Rita took.

Without it, my plan is ruined!

OK, chief. Forget the ruby. Ruby's gone.

See? See? Moving on. We are now your cable guys.

Focused. Cable-centric, boss.

You need to be back in time for the World Cup Final.

Great! Are we watching the game together?

Just get the cable!

Keep your legs straight!

Are you sure we should be stopping with goons after us?

We aren't gonna get far without a map, are we?

Is that a house?

Yes, and it's very dangerous. So...

...why don't you wait here.

Waiting here. Excellent idea.

Watch out for the pirana.

Rita!

Here you go, Annie. You, Shamus.

Mimi, get your finger out of your nose. Fergus.

- Jojo, no biting. - That is wild good!

Rita!

Rita's back!

- Rita! - Mum! Oh, Mum.

Thank goodness you're safe.

Rita!

Hello, Dad.

Give us a hug, girl!

Mom, there's a peeping Tom outside!

Tom?! Ohh, it's Tom Jones!

Mother, it's not Tom Jones.

That's just my passenger.

- He's very good-Iooking. - He is not coming in.

Soup's on!

It's lovely. Thanks, Mum.

So how long have you been Rita's boyfriend?

He's not my boyfriend.

Will you make an honest woman of my daughter?

Dad!

We were thinking of a spring wedding, right, cream puff?

Look, I want all of you to know he's...

Tom Jones!

So your name is "Roddy," is that right?

Yes, that's right. Roddy St. James.

What a beautiful name.

- Hi, Roddy. - Who might you be, little chap?

- They call me Shocky. - Why do they call you that?

- Shocky! - Yes! Got it.

Rita, where are you taking this handsome young man?

That's why I need your maps, Dad.

Because he's from... Up Top.

Kitchen. Now.

Sing us a song, Tom!

- I'm not saying it isn't risky. - But it's impossible, Rita.

No one's ever got past the rapids at Hyde Park.

Dad, Dad! He's gonna pay us.

For the last time, we don't need the money!

A new stove might be nice.

- Talkir about the little lady - Go, Tom! Go!

- Sing to my heart! - She's a lady

Talkir about that old lady

And the lady wears big undies

Huge undies.

Psst! Rita!

It's OK. It's me, Liam.

Quick, in the kitchen.

Look at those moves!

I love you, Tom!

This bloke isn't who he says he is.

His real name is Millicent Bystander, an international jewel thief.

A mastermind, a super-criminal.

Looks like he crossed The Toad and got away with it.

But I'm a thinker. I've got a plan.

More! More!

- That was brilliant! - Oh, it was nothing.

- So you're from Up Top? - Yes.

- I've met one of your lot before. - Really?

Used to be some old lady's pet.

That's nice.

Terribly Ionely for him, though. He had no one to talk to.

No one to cuddle with!

No one to shocky.

That's no life, is it?

I'd better get these dishes started.

Please, permit me.

Oh, you're such a gentleman!

Great! So I hand Roddy over to The Toad

and claim the reward.

Then we're all sitting pretty for the rest of our lives. Is that it?

The Toad will pay a fortune for him.

He's a bad one anyway, so that's all right, isn't it?

You cheeky little monkey. I won't have no son of mine acting the rat.

We Malones never go back on our word.

- He's gonna steal your boat. - He won't.

- He's stealing your boat. - He isn't stealing...

- He stole your boat. - What?

He's like Robin Hood in reverse.

Oi! I thought we had a deal!

So did I!

This is an emergency! Get out of the way! Emergency!

Keep clear! I'm coming, Mr. Jones, I'm coming! Marry me, Mr. Jones!

Roddy!

That double-crossing little schemer. I don't need her.

That double-crossing little schemer. I don't need her.

I mean, anyone can get out and sail. Look at me!

All right, Sid, you're in for a big surprise.

Look out!

Sorry!

Sid's Tattoo and Hot Dog Parlor.

It's Roddy. Remember me?

- The butler? - Roddy!

Listen, you! If you're still there when I get back...

Back? Back? How will you do that then, Roddy?

- What was that? - Gotta go, Rodders.

If I find one thing out of place...

Here's a little song I wrote

You might want to sing it note for note

Don't worry

Be happy

Don't worry, be happy now

Where are they hiding?

Think. Think.

To find a rat, you got to think like a rat.

Hey, guys.

I've had a tip-off. They're heading west to Kensington.

Bingo!

Scrabble!

Enough games. To the ratmobiles!

OK, OK. We can fix it.

Yes, we can. Obviously...

Fairly major burn to the hand. Smell of burning flesh.

Maybe I should just...

That really hurt.

Just start, you won'thless old pile of rubbish! You useless, unreliable...

Untrustwon'thy, double-crossing, two-faced, conniving little toe-rag!

So I'm the double-crosser? Oh, yes, that's rich!

I overheard everything.

Yes, you and your family were gonna sell me to The Toad!

What?

You dipstick! That was my stupid little brother's plan.

And no one listens to him.

Must have missed that part.

How could you think I'd sell you out? When I make a deal, I make a deal.

Your hair's on fire.

What?

Rita, look...

...I'm sorry. I was wrong. I think we should just put it behind us.

OK. I suppose I can put it behind me.

This is such an overreaction!

Rita, you can'tjust leave me here on a...

On a duck! Up the creek without a...

You're getting everything you deserve. Sneaking around,

eavesdropping on people's conversations.

I was not sneaking around.

Right.

I say, you can't really intend to just strand me like this.

You're not that heartless.

OK, maybe you are.

If you're trying to teach me a lesson, consider it taught!

I'm on a duck, begging!

Ice cold Rita

Never did I meet a

Girl who's half so cruel I offered her a jewel

But she left me stuck Stranded on a duck

What a shoddy thing to do to Roddy Me

That's Roddy St. James of Kensington

Poor, poor Roddy

Flushed down his own potty

Rita, can't you find it in your heart

To help him?

How mean can one rat be?

Ice cold Rita

Wort you be sweeter to me?

Am I forgiven?

No. I was just afraid you'd sing another verse.

Rita, I wasrt eavesdropping, I swear to you.

Oh, really?

What were you doing, then, Roddy?

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