Follow That Dream Page #6

It doesn't matter.

He's got the IQ of a grasshopper.

Well, with those shoulders,

he sure looks like a genius to me.

Introduce me, Arthur.

Kwimper, this is Miss Alisha Claypoole.

She is our State Welfare supervisor.

- Oh, how do, ma'am?

- Oh, stay right where you are.

- You can go now, Arthur.

- But...

Thank you, Arthur.

- What's your first name?

- Toby.

- Mine's Alisha.

- Well, how do, Alisha?

Oh, please relax.

Did you understand what Arthur King meant

when he mentioned your IQ?

I reckon he meant I'm not smart.

- I hope he didn't hurt your feelings.

- No, ma'am.

There's a couple of things

I am smart about...

...and one of them's

not letting my feelings get hurt easy.

That's smart. That's even wise.

Anybody ever tell you

you're very handsome?

- Only girls.

- Don't you like girls?

I like girls all right,

except when they start to bother me.

A young, virile man like you,

I should think you'd love to be bothered.

Well, the bothering part is all right,

but I ain't gonna marry no girl...

...and build no house

just so I can be bothered regular.

Flight from paternity.

Oedipus is everywhere.

- I beg your pardon, ma'am?

- Nothing.

You know, Toby, that the State Welfare

Department is deeply interested in you.

- How come?

- 'Cause you're a very interesting man.

I am?

You have exquisite proportions,

why, your legs are amazing...

That tickles, ma'am. That tickles.

That's because I hit

a very sensitive nerve that...

If you have finished tickling Toby's leg,

I'd like him to do a chore.

- Who would this be?

- That's Holly.

Hello, Holly. Say "how do you do" to Alisha.

- A member of the Kwimper family?

- Oh, Holly's practically a sister to me.

- What does practically mean?

- We're not related.

Alisha here is a State Welfare supervisor.

That's lucky.

Somebody's welfare around here

needs supervising.

- Come and help me fill the water barrel.

- I just filled it last night.

Well, it fell over.

I think the twins must have pushed it.

Look, that barrel weighs

200 or 300 pounds, Holly.

The twins couldn't have turned it over.

- Maybe they had a little help.

- I'll fill it for you later, honey.

Much later.

Right now, Alisha's got to figure out

my welfare.

I've never seen Holly look so upset.

She must be awful thirsty.

Toby, look at me.

You know, total navet

is a hard thing to believe.

But I believe it.

What did you say, ma'am?

Never mind, it's a compliment.

Oh. Thank you. I'll give you one,

just as soon as I can make one up.

Can't you think of a compliment

without making it up?

Well...

Try.

Try real hard.

Hey, Toby...

...how are the fish running today?

You ain't got your mind on work, though,

have you?

This is about as private as a subway.

Come with me.

I ain't got any secrets.

Well, we just can't have a good interview

with people intruding.

- You comfortable?

- Yes, ma'am.

Oh, I see.

- You need another pillow?

- No, this is fine, thank you.

Well, Toby,

I need to know my subject inside out...

...every intimate detail

in order to prescribe help.

I didn't know you was fixing to help me.

Seeing you're friends to Mr King and all.

Oh, don't worry about Arthur King.

State Welfare wants to help you.

That's what the word "welfare" means,

isn't it?

Yes, ma'am. I never said it didn't.

Well, let's start

with the word association test.

I'll say a word and you say the first word

that pops into your head.

Well, wouldn't it be safer

if I give it a little thought, first?

No, this is a test

to probe your subconscious.

We all know our motives

on the conscious level...

...and those are the ones

we often try to conceal.

Now, if you answer me right away...

...I'll know the motives

you're trying to conceal.

And I'll know the real reasons

for the things you do and say.

Now, I got to think about that a little bit.

- Are you ready?

- Yep. Should I stand up?

Oh, no, no, just relax.

Now, first word...

...hurt.

Well, I don't think that's a word.

Doesn't matter.

Second word. Ready?

- Help.

- "Help"?

No, Toby, you don't repeat the word,

you just say what the word suggests to you.

Nobody yells "help."

They always yell "help, help."

So I was waiting for the other "help"...

...and when you didn't say "help,"

well, I said "help."

I see.

This isn't going to be quite as easy

as I expected.

Now, the third word.

- Steal.

- Home.

Oh, you poor boy. You think

somebody's trying to steal your home.

Willie Mays stole home.

Who's Willie May?

Not May, Mays. He's a baseball player.

Oh, never mind.

The association speaks for itself.

Now, number four.

Girl.

Dad.

- Holy Moses.

- Something wrong?

Toby, I'll just have to ask you

to explain that one for me.

That's the song they're playing.

On top of Old Smoky

where things get real hot

Where girls are a problem

which Dad knows I've got

That's pretty good, sing some more.

Follow that dream

I've got to follow that

Keep a-moving, move along

Keep a-moving

I've got to follow that dream

wherever that dream may lead

I gotta follow that dream

to find the love I need

When your heart gets restless

Time to move along

When your heart gets weary

Time to sing a song

But when a dream is calling you

There's just one thing that you can do

You've gotta follow that dream

wherever that dream may lead

You gotta follow that dream

to find the love you need

Keep a-moving, move along

Keep a-moving

Got to find me someone whose heart is free

Someone to look for my dream with me

And when I find her, I may find out

That's what my dreams are all about

I've got to follow that dream

wherever that dream may lead

I've got to follow that dream

to find the love I need

I've got to follow that dream

wherever that dream may lead

I've got to follow that dream

to find the love I need

Keep a-moving, move along

Keep a-moving, move along

Keep a-moving, move along

Keep a-moving, move along

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

Any more words?

Yes. Love.

Thirty.

You think love begins at 30?

No, ma'am. Love is when you ain't got any.

- Any what?

- Any points. Like in tennis.

Love-15, love-30, love-40.

Maybe I should've said love-15,

but it ain't what I thought of.

That's all right. I just misunderstood you.

Now the last word.

Sex.

One times one is one, one times two is two,

one times three is three...

- Fascinating answer. Fascinating.

- Did I pass the test?

What you just did spontaneously

was express the realisation...

...that with one person, or one of

any species, sex is a sterile thing.

That can't produce more than the

original number that it started with.

But as soon as there are two,

it becomes productive.

Yes, ma'am. And that's something

you have to watch out for.

Toby, don't spoil the poetry of it.

Oh, well, that's enough work

for this afternoon.

Let's just lie back

and enjoy the afternoon sun.

Do you like me like this, Toby?

You're awful close.

Toby, just put your arm around me...

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