Footlight Parade Page #7

One, two, three, four!

One, two, three...

four.

Hello?

I don't care if you wrote the doxology.

Mr. Kent won't see anyone till Monday.

Chester, it's like being in jail.

- Sorry, dear, better get used to it.

- She is used to it.

But how about

our engagement ring, darling?

Get it for you Saturday night.

All right, sweet.

I wouldn't beef about being locked up

with the man I love.

Hello? Yes. Yes, I'll tell him.

Apolinaris says your prologue goes on

at the Jupiter Theatre 9:00 tonight.

How about the other two?

Mercury Theatre at 10:00,

the Diana Theatre at 11:00.

Looks like we're in the laps

of the Greek gods.

- You worried?

- Well...

that water nymph number will

empty the theater like a stench bomb.

There's still time to change it.

It's too late and I'm too tired.

Every time I fool with it,

I ruin it some more.

Old Faithful's gone blank

on me completely.

Hey, wait a minute.

This is Mr. Kent's private office.

How nice. I'm Mrs. Kent.

And I'm Lydia Pinkham. Outside.

Do you know this dizzy dame?

Yeah, I still have nightmares about her.

She used to be my wife.

Still is, Chester, dear.

- You went to Reno.

- I was going.

- Somehow, I never got around to it.

- I see.

- You heard I was in the money.

- Exactly.

- What kept you away so long?

- I was in Europe.

- And who paid for that?

- That's my affair.

I understand you're all steamed up

about a Miss Vivian Rich.

- And what's that to you?

- I can make plenty of trouble.

- All right, come on, come on. How much?

- $25,000 worth.

You might as well ask for $25 million.

I work for a living.

You can have till 4:00 this afternoon.

Then my lawyer and I start shooting.

Wait a minute.

Here's a pass for the cop at the gate.

I wouldn't want you to have

any trouble getting out.

$25,000.

Well, here's where I go to the cleaners.

Maybe I can do something about it.

You mean raise that dough?

What are you gonna do, print it?

Never mind. I've got an idea.

Keep it to yourself

or the wife'll cash in on it.

And when I get an idea

I do something about it.

Most dames do.

By a waterfall

I'm calling you

I want to talk to Scotty.

You can't come in here

and break up my rehearsal this way.

- Mr. Kent's orders.

- Hold it! Come here, Scotty.

Were you on the level

when you said that...

Frazer and Gould

were holding out on Mr. Kent?

- You know Mrs. Gould, she talks a lot.

- Anything we can prove?

Just suspicions, but I sort of

put two and two together.

That's what I'm gonna do and make 25.

Back to your places, girls!

- You've been gypping him for months.

- You're raving.

No, just investigating.

And my knowledge is worth money.

It's out and out robbery

and that's a crime in any country.

- If our accountant made a mistake?

- Mr. Kent will let the jury decide.

Bonjour, darling.

Just got some tough news, Vivian.

My wife showed up.

You mean your ex-wife.

- My wife. She never got the divorce.

- What do you mean?

Now listen, baby.

It's just one of those things.

You've gotta be patient.

- Young lady, you're on the wrong track.

- What do you want?

To keep my mouth shut? $25,000.

Blackmail!

If I tell Kent,

he'll walk out and you know it.

- You can't bluff us.

- What makes you think I'm bluffing?

Young woman.

You see, darling, that's the way it is.

You promised to marry me

and you're going to marry me.

But I can't get rid of her.

She wants $25,000.

Listen, you silly-looking baboon,

who do you think you're running around?

- Some little punk from the sticks?

- What's this?

I wrote the book

and I know all the answers.

Well, well...

- The cultured Miss Rich.

- Not cultured, just smart.

Smart enough to sue

and attach everything but your garters.

That's nice to know.

Well...

I'd rather have you sue me than marry me.

Mr. Kent, there is a Santa Claus.

$25,000 and made out to you!

Endorsed to Chester Kent.

Take it and ask no questions.

There's something phony here.

How'd you get it?

- Blackmail.

- Come on, spill it.

I played a pair of deuces

like four aces and they paid.

Frazer and Gould

have been holding out on me.

Bookkeeping mistake.

- Where are you going?

- Where do you think?

Hello, Chester.

- So you double-crossed me.

- A book-keeping mistake.

I slave day and night for you.

What do I get?

You stab me in the back!

Me, the guy who made this place!

Killed myself so you chuckle-headed apes

could get rich.

We'll straighten it out.

Go and get somebody else

to double-cross.

- What about Apolinaris?

- Stick him in your rear.

And that wood nymph prologue

has got no chance the way it stands.

- What do we do?

- Fix it yourselves, you two wonder men.

Chester!

Chester, you've gotta stay on the job!

You can't do this to us! Chester!

- Just a moment, you can't go out there.

- The orders are wrong.

Now wait a minute. Listen!

Cab!

- Where to, mister?

- Anywhere, just keep going.

- Let's go back, boss.

- For what?

They'll never get Apollo if you quit.

The three of them can open

a peanut stand together.

No! No! No! Wait a minute.

Try it again.

Hey, Mr. Francis, Kent has quit.

- What?

- He can't do that.

He took the brains

on the drive with him under his hat.

I knew it couldn't be done.

I knew it couldn't be done.

Let's go home.

When Apolinaris hears, he wouldn't sign

if we gave him Garbo on roller skates.

Prologues, prologues, prologues.

I'm fed up.

Fighting for ideas and chained

to that office, morning, noon and night.

And the third prologue, it's rotten.

But boss...

Pull up!

Hey, lend me that brush, will you?

Just a minute. Lend me that.

Hey, wait a minute! Hey!

Wait a minute! Hey, you!

Wait, wait. Wait a minute.

What do you think you're trying to do?

That's my name

and I don't want it up there.

- Yeah, you're full of hooch, are you?

- Let go.

Look at that.

That's what that

wood nymph prologue needs.

A mountain waterfall

splashing on beautiful white bodies.

- You get it?

- I have ideas, too, Mr. Kent.

- All right, well, come on!

- Yeah, come on.

Sorry, gents. Without Kent

your prologues ain't worth a nickel.

He's coming back in a little while.

I can't wait very long.

I've got a date with the Gladstone.

Where do you think you're going?

Come on, get back in! Everybody back in!

Come on.

Hold everything. Everybody stand by.

Lock that gate. Nobody in, nobody out.

- Same as before?

- Same as before.

Listen, get back to work.

That third prologue has changed.

All the dance routines are shifted.

Only this time, it's gonna be good.

I'll be with you in a minute.

Go on, get to work.

That's impossible, Mr. Kent.

It can't be done!

All right, children,

back to the rehearsal hall.

It can't be done. No, it can't be done.

Look, smallpox, I got the money.

But I want a release.

Here, give her that when she signs.

I won't take a check.

You'll stop payment on it.

Throw her a herring.

Say, that gives me an idea.

How about shiny fish

jumping out of the water?

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