For Keeps? Page #7

That way Thea can sleep with me

just the way Darcy used to.

You won't have to listen

to that old Daddy snore. Yeah.

I don't want beer in this house.

The smell reminds me of your father.

Tell him to use a coaster,

would you, honey, please?

She's driving me crazy. Last week

she said you had too much lipstick on.

She's a mother. They do that.

They put notes on the toilet

saying put the seat down?

Okay, fine. We'll move in

with your dad.

-Oh, now we can't even talk.

-We can talk.

Just don't make that noise.

It sounds like we're making love.

Oh, it's so cute the way you

say that, "making love."

How about making hot, sweaty,

stinky sex? Darcy, do it to me.

-Oh, Stan, shut up!

-Oh, Darcy! Oh, faster!

-Faster!

-Please don't do this to me!

-Get down! I mean it!

-Where did you learn that?

I cannot believe you.

This is completely disgusting.

-You want more? You are something.

-Stop it! Stop it!

Why are you doing this to me?

Stan, come on!

-You love it! You know you love it!

-Stop it right now, please.

-Don't pound so hard.

-Faster! Oh, yes!

-Come on!

-You know you love it.

You're gonna break the bed!

This is really sleazy.

I can't believe you.

-Oh, you are out of control.

-Stan, get down!

-I am getting down!

-Get down right now. This isn't funny.

Excuse me, you wouldn't happen

to have a cigarette?

No, I don't smoke.

Oh, well, thanks anyway.

-Good night.

-Good night.

Oh, my God.

She doesn't smoke, she says.

Where are you going?

I'm going to sleep with my mother.

Good. I always thought somebody

should sleep with her.

-Now where are you going?

-The same place I always go. Out.

Nice. Nice.

Excuse me, fella. The lady wants

to buy you a box of Pampers.

My treat, Stan.

So everybody's heading

out next week, huh?

Hey, it's okay.

You don't need to keep up

the conversation.

You don't have to talk or worry

about any bills you have to pay.

Stan, you're a kid.

I think you forgot about that

for a while.

What Darcy did to you was lame.

Really lame.

You know how long I've listened

to my dad rave on about Caltech?

Since I was 10 years old.

I even learned their

goddamn fight song.

You'll never know how I felt

when I was accepted.

How did she talk you out of that?

She never even knew I got in.

But you know what?

When it all came down,

getting married, baby, all of it...

...I found out that the feelings

I had for Darcy were stronger than...

...I could have had

for just about anything.

So you see, it wasn't lame.

It was love.

I gotta go.

Thanks a lot.

Welcome to the Pork Pit.

May I take your order?

I'll have two slabs of baby back

ribs and an order of coleslaw.

Two cages and a side of slaw!

You're a new piggly-wiggly,

aren't you?

Sit down and wait

for your number to be called.

Hi, Darcy. Stan and I had a couple

of beers the other night.

He didn't mention you

learned a new trade.

-Ribs or rinds?

-Unfortunately, nothing happened.

He did mention how excited he was

when he got accepted to Caltech.

He didn't get in to Caltech.

Do you want to order?

Come on, of course he got in,

but he turned it down because of you.

How could you believe he didn't get

in? He was an A student.

How can you be so smart

and so dumb?

I wish I had a guy like Stan who would

blow away the rest of his life for me.

-What a waste.

-Excuse me.

Is my order ready yet?

-Here you go, sir.

-Oh, thank you.

Yeah, Bobrucz. That's right.

Oh, so the scholarship's still good?

He can still go?

Okay, great. Yeah, you just

go ahead and enroll him.

Yeah, he'll be there.

Okay, thank you very much.

Goodbye.

So that's it?

That's it.

-Somebody canceled.

-Are you thinking of going with him?

No, there's no married housing

for undergrads.

He has to put in 30 hours

a week work-study.

With no income, it just would never

work. That's why he never told me.

-What are you and Thea gonna do?

-Oh, we'll be just fine.

What about Madison

and journalism--?

I'll worry about that. You make sure

he gets on a plane by Thursday.

Make sure he gets

enough underwear.

-Yeah, but Darc--

-Chris!

They write bad country songs

about this, okay?

I mean, the wife gets tied down

too young.

He ends up hating the wife, hating the

kid, hating everybody, hating himself.

It's just better this way, okay?

Thanks a lot.

-Bye.

-Bye.

I gotta take care of his underwear.

Honey, I'm sorry I didn't

come home last night.

-You have to go.

-I did some thinking.

I got it all worked out.

Did you hear me?

I said, you have to go.

I can't go anywhere. I just got here.

You have to leave.

-Stan, you gotta move out. Now.

-I'll apologize to your mother.

No, it's not about my mother.

It's about us!

I'm not happy.

You're not happy. You don't come

home. When you do come home--

We'll work it out. There's a lot

of stuff. We said that once--

I want a divorce.

Come on, we just got married.

Fine. I'll have it annulled.

It's not a legal marriage anyway.

-Honey, you're tired.

-I said, get out!

Darcy, what is--?

-Now! Get out!

-What are you talking about?

This is my house. Just get up,

just walk out the door!

-No!

-Do you hear me?

This is my house!

Get out of my house!

Darcy, come on!

Don't you think you better leave?

-I would've been a great architect.

-You'll be a great architect.

But you gotta go to school first.

Look, maybe you should just can all

this family stuff and get on with...

-...what you're supposed to be doing.

-Forget it.

Look, I gotta tell you something.

I called Caltech.

Your scholarship is still good.

-You did what?

-It turns out...

...that somebody canceled,

and you can have their spot.

We gotta be there Thursday.

You called Caltech?

Yeah. And you can go,

so don't blow it.

Does Darcy know all this?

How would Darcy know?

Chris? There's someone

here to see Stan.

-Who the hell's that?

-I don't know.

-Maybe it's Darcy.

-How much underwear do you got?

-Stanley Michael Bobrux?

-Bobrucz.

I'm authorized by the state to serve

you with these annulment papers.

-What the hell is that?

-Hey, I don't want this!

Hey, Stan.

I don't want this! Take this back!

Yeah, well, that's great! Only one

problem! We were never married!

Never married? What do you mean,

never married?

-I was there. I saw you.

-We weren't 18 yet. We lied.

So? That's no big deal.

Darcy! Darcy, you don't understand!

Oh, my God, what must

the neighbors think?

I'm trying to tell you how I feel, okay?

Please, I'm sorry! I didn't mean

to run out of the money!

-That does it. I'm calling the police.

-Mom, don't!

Well, he needs to go

for some counseling.

We were married! We have a baby!

Or did you forget? I didn't forget,

because I love you!

Goddamn it! And you love me!

You said you loved me,

and we had a baby!

Goddamn it! We have a baby! Thea!

Come on, give me

one more chance, please!

I'm so f***ing sorry!

-I'm gonna go talk to him.

-You stay right there!

You're finished talking to him.

One more chance!

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