Forbidden Woman

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(siren blaring in distance)

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(stammering)

Woman drivers get

on my nerves, man.

Try to own the road...

you shouldn't be in charge of

2,000 pounds of steel anyway.

That's a job for a man

and a man only.

(chuckling)

What kind of man

jumps into the backseat

and screams like a baby

for no reason?

What... For no reason?

For no reason?

You almost ran

three cars off the road

and when I asked you to turn for

Starbucks coffee

you almost spun a 360.

Man, look, you are not

a stunt driver, Sheila.

I shouldn't have had to

call your mama to talk you

out of that backseat, Jarvis...

that just ain't right.

What... this ain't right.

No, hey, you know what?

I thought you were going to

keep that between us.

Well, I didn't say that

you had to make her sing to you

to calm you down.

You know what,

I've reached my point.

I've reached my boiling point.

My whole life

flashed before my eyes.

- (phone ringing)

- It must have been a long flash

- 'cause you older than dirt.

- Oh, oh, I'm older than dirt.

I'm young

where it counts.

Hey, Charles... shh!

(laughing)

I'm glad you could get

a few seconds to get away.

Oh, yes, yes!

I love the purse.

It arrived yesterday.

Oh, you know it.

(chuckling)

Yeah, I know...

(chuckling)

Oh, no, no, no.

No, I won't call you

on this line any more.

But you call me when

you can, okay.

Okay, mwah,

I miss... I miss...

(chuckling)

Disconnect,

huh, dial tone, huh?

You are never gonna learn,

you know that?

One of these days, one of these

wives of these married men

you've been running around with

will make a story out of you

on the 6:
00 news.

I can see it right now.

"Famous jump-off

gets knocked off."

Back to you, Jim.

Just shut up.

You just jealous

'cause your woman

got you wrapped around

her little finger.

When she say jump, you jump!

At least I'm jumping

in my own house.

When these married men

jump off of you

they jump right

back to their wives

'cause you're like the famous

trampoline of Chicago.

Yeah, I said it.

Hello, that's right.

Look, I'm just out here

trying to get all the nice things

that I deserve, okay?

Rather than be

unhappy like you.

- At least I don't pretend.

- You don't pretend?

Every day you pretend.

You walk around here all uppity,

your nose so far in the air,

your feet don't

touch the ground.

This a old-fashioned home wrecker,

all right?

You know, my grandmother,

she had a word for it.

It's a photograph word,

they called it a "Jezebel" spirit.

You're just mad 'cause

I wouldn't be caught dead

with a junior attorney like you.

Yeah, I'll be a junior,

and you can be a Jezebel.

How 'bout that

for the time being?

Man:
Good morning, everybody.

Isn't it a glorious morning,

I must say.

Are we getting a raise?

You know, since you're always

pretending to be working

I'm going to pretend

you didn't ask me that.

- Amen, Brother.

- Praise the Lord.

We need to make sure

our files are in order

for the Simon and Stevens

presentation.

You know...

that's exactly why I love having

you as a part of this firm.

You always do

the things that are important.

You know, with this merger

Simon and Stevens...

it's gonna do

a lot for this firm.

Yes, it is.

You know, um...

my daddy started this firm with

a thousand-dollar loan

from our great-great grandfather,

who was a slave hand

in Mississippi.

He built this firm from nothing.

And just to think,

pretty soon,

we're gonna merge

with one of the biggest firms

in the state.

And you know what?

I'm gonna need

a VP of Operations.

I'm thinking...

...corner office.

- Mmm.

- A bonus...

- Mm-hmm.

...and a company car.

You know what I mean?

Yes, sir, I know

exactly what you mean.

Fool, you ain't going nowhere.

You gonna be right here

with me in the cheap seats.

(laughing)

You know, I am very fortunate.

I don't mean

to brag or boast

but I have a beautiful home,

a wonderful job,

and a fantastic wife.

Fantastic.

- Did... did I say fantastic?

- You did.

'Cause I mean fantastic.

I mean, oh so fantastic!

Oh, that's good 'cause

you ain't no spring chicken.

- Sheila!

- What?

What's wrong with saying

the truth around here?

Goodness.

Well, boss, I am here

for whatever you need.

You know what?

I'm finally looking forward

to meeting that

lucky lady of yours.

- Fantastic.

- Yeah.

Listen, she's on her way

and when she gets here,

will you tell her

that I'll be in my office,

working on those merger papers?

- We are on our way, son.

- We're on our way, boss.

Ooh!

Did I hear

him say VP maybe?

- Uh, yes, you did.

- No way.

Pretty soon, I'm about

to be ballin', out of control.

Yeah!

Yeah, man,

you could use that, man.

After the year you just had.

I mean, with the nasty breakup

and your mother passing away.

That was pretty hard on everybody,

you know?

- Yeah...

- You deserve it.

You know, she broke up with me

a week after they told me

my mother had cancer.

Who would do

something like that?

Whoo, man,

that's cold-blooded.

But she did have some

nice legs.

- I'm just saying.

- Come on, man.

I've been so down

and depressed, man,

I could use some good news.

You know what, you...

you deserve some good news.

I gave that woman

everything I had.

Just out of curiosity, just tell me,

how much did you have?

Huh, wouldn't

you like to know?

Yeah, you know what,

I'm glad to see you

finally out of the house, man.

For a minute, I was kind of worried

about you for a second.

You know, to think that, uh...

through all the pain,

all the hard work

and dedication,

- finally gonna pay off.

- Mmm, that's right.

Studying all those

long law hours,

drawing up contracts

and licenses,

getting Randall's laundry.

Well, actually you had me

getting his laundry...

And to think,

just ten years ago,

I was scraping up money

to buy noodles.

We... we were scraping up money

to buy noodles...

And now...

I'm in a position to be VP

of the biggest firm in the state.

I'm about to be

the man!

You about to be the man,

we about to be...

We about to blow up!

Woman:
Hello, everyone.

I'm Vanessa,

Vanessa Young.

My friends call my Vanny, but you guys

can call me...

Vanessa.

Oh, Vanessa.

Well, how you doing,

Vanessa?

I'm Jarvis, nice to meet you,

it's a pleasure.

That's funny.

Randall has never

mentioned you before.

That's because he's

just a junior attorney.

Hi, I'm Sheila, I do all

the secretarial work around here.

Sheila, yeah, your reputation

precedes you.

I'm watching you.

Oh...

And you must be Elston.

Randall rants and raves

about you.

How intelligent

and dedicated you are.

Are you dedicated to

my husband, Elston?

Absolutely.

Oh, my goodness,

there's my little love bug.

- How you doing?

- Good.

It's good to see you.

Uh, everybody...

...you met my wife, Vanny.

- Yes.

- I guess.

I can't believe you never

mentioned my name once.

- Not once.

- Whatever, whatever.

I don't mean to brag, but I just want

you all to know

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