Foreverland

Good morning, William.

She's a beauty, isn't she?

That she is, Mr. Steadman.

Price is a little steep, though.

- I just want the best.

- Hmm!

Perfectly understandable.

But first, allow me to show you

Some of our newer models.

Here we have

a 20 gauge steel shell.

Locking and fully casketed.

It also comes in a dark

hunter green finish with

Gold tone maple leaf

design hardware.

Moving on.

My heart's set on Angelica.

Ahh.

The Rolls Royce of basketry.

We're planning a sale

In late October featuring some

stunning new Bavarian design.

Keep me posted,

Mr. Steadman.

You mind if I

close the hatch?

Just for a moment.

You know William,

while I enjoy these visits

Of yours, it occurs to me

that a young man

Such as yourself, should be

out shopping for... cars.

Not... coffins.

They say a coffin

holds enough air

To keep a man alive

for three hours.

So when I'm in here...

Why does it feel

like I can live forever?

I've been asked today

to talk about Cystic Fibrosis.

Now, normally I would perform

One to three hours

of physio daily.

Like Tarzan.

Only I'm not showing off

for Jane...

I'm just trying to breathe.

Because my body lacks

the proper digestive enzymes

To keep my pancreas

clear of cysts,

And my liver

unblocked from bile,

I have to pop more pills

than Rush Limbaugh.

And uh... Other than that,

life's peachy.

Questions?

I really enjoyed your talk.

- Thanks.

- Penny.

Pre-med.

Uh, Will. Pre-dead.

I was wondering...

If it's true that your chances

of fertilizing an ovum

Are roughly 2.06 million,

I mean...

Technically wouldn't that

make you infertile?

Um, like a neutered goat.

Well, this...

has its advantages.

Are we... flirting?

You tell me.

Sorry.

I don't have a lot of room

in my life for anything other

Than my routine.

I've got to do my physio.

Take my meds...

Puff an hour

in the nebulizer.

To keep my weight up,

I've got to eat 4,000 calories

a day.

Oh yeah.

I go to a lot

of funerals, too.

At 21 I've probably been

to more funerals

Than most 80 year olds.

Bobby and I were friends

back in the ward.

We'd always joke that only

one of us would make it

Past our 21st birthday.

I guess he was right.

Cough sounds soupy today.

Last week it was barky,

and the week before

It was hydraulic.

We ran into

Sarah Bennet today.

Pancake house.

Mom, it was the 6th grade!

I held her hand at recess.

And then... she cheated

on me with Ronald Brinkman.

Well she asked about ya.

And she has

really filled out, son.

Jesus, guys!

I know you don't like it

when we make a big fuss

So we settled for just one.

Happy 21, Will.

Elevated

sodium chloride levels

Are often an early indicator.

That's why you tasted

salt on the skin.

Of course, with all the

recent treatment programs

There are many patients

living into their late 20's.

But when death

speaks to us,

What does it say?

Death does not speak

about itself.

It does not say "fear me. "

It does not say

"wonder at me. "

It does not say

"understand me. "

But it says to us,

"Think of life. "

"Think of the

privilege of life. "

I've heard so many priests

deliver eulogies,

I can't help but rate them

on their performance.

It's like some tragic

American Idol in my head.

Bobby hated flowers.

So what do they do?

Toss a hundred roses

at his funeral.

65 actually.

I guess you knew that.

You probably don't recognize

me without an IV drip.

I remember you, Will.

Maybe you can

answer a question.

Why Del Sol?

It's a healing shrine

down in Mexico.

Some of the kids, we...

used to joke about going.

He just kept saying it

the night he died.

"I'm going to

Del Sol, Hannah. "

"I'm going to Del Sol. "

Wanna get out of here?

Here's to Angelica.

She your girlfriend?

Who wants to get involved

with someone

With an expiry date.

Everybody's got

an expiry date.

The average human body

contains enough salt

To fill four salt shakers.

In ancient Rome,

Conscription soldiers

were often paid in salt.

Hence the expression,

"A man worth his salt. "

It's also very good

on cucumber.

There's something

you need to see.

Estate of Bobby Crane.

I should go.

Repeat customers

are such a rarity

In this line of business.

You work pretty hard,

Mr. Steadman.

Maybe you should

take a load off.

I don't think that would be

entirely appropriate.

How can you sell these things

with any sense of integrity

If you don't take them

for a test ride?

It's a casket, William.

Not a Ferrari.

Try the Newberry.

She's got lumbar support

that'll make a Volvo blush.

All this craftsmanship...

For a few measly minutes

in the sun, and then...

An eternity in darkness.

Doesn't quite seem fair,

does it?

No William.

No it doesn't.

And they danced

By the light of the moon.

The moon, the moon.

They danced by the light

of the moon.

He tastes like salt.

Sorry to keep you waiting,

Mr. Rankin.

Ron Hodges.

Uh, I'm not really sure

what this...

What I'm doing here, or what

this has to do with Bobby.

I was retained by Mr. Crane

two months prior to his, uh,

Unfortunate passing, and...

His instructions were specific.

You are to be

the sole custodian.

Custodian of what?

Ah.

This.

This is...?

There've been some

exciting movements

In modern urn design.

- This is Bobby?

- Well...

Pyrotechnically.

What the hell

was in his grave?

Um, a large

expensive box. Filled with...

My client's pornographic

DVD collection,

And 14 cases of Apple-berry

Mountain flavored Snapple.

I'm also...

Play you a DVD.

Well.

I'm only telling you this,

because...

I like you.

And because I'm dead.

Um...

Back in the ward,

Back in the day...

You were the funniest kid

I ever knew.

And then of course, bam,

puberty hits and

You turn into

Ghouly VonMorbid.

Um...

But here's the plan.

You my friend...

Are gonna drive

2,000 miles South.

To a Mexican church called

"El Santuario Del Sol. "

And there you're gonna

meet a priest...

Named Salvador.

The two of you are going

to scatter my ashes...

Over a sacred salt pond

that runs under the church.

If you don't do this for me Will

I swear, to God, I'll haunt you.

Everyday. I will haunt you

like poltergeist buddy.

Alright, I will Jacob Marley

your ass, for the rest

Of your short, bleak life.

Do this for me, Will.

You're some kind of prankster,

Bobby. I'll give you that.

Can't find a better

drinking buddy?

Relax.

I'm only here

for the flowers.

How long was Bobby

planning this?

He didn't tell me.

Not that I blame him.

If our parents

knew about this they'd be...

Filing injunctions.

It's heavy.

Hey, wait, wait.

Where are you

going with that?

Bobby had a last request.

I'm making sure

it's being honored.

I never said I wouldn't

honor his last request.

This means you're taking it?

I don't even have a car.

I've never left the city...

Just...

Please just give me

some time to figure this out.

Yeah, hi. I need to mail

a package to Baja, Mexico.

It's like a, a metal...

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