Forgetting the Girl Page #5

Eight, seven.

I... had a sister.

Uh, Nicole.

I have a dead sister...

named Nicole.

What-What happened to her?

You know, I don't know.

I, uh... It's hard

for me to remember.

I, uh...

She drowned in the pool.

She drowned?

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

It's okay, Kevin.

Is it?

Yeah.

It's fine.

I don't pay you enough.

Oh, my God.

Jamie, I don't.

Come on.

I don't.

I mean, here we are, we're sitting here.

I feel like I can

tell you anything.

You can.

Yeah.

I feel like I can...

I-I can explain myself to you.

You can.

I feel like...

I feel like you understand.

I do, Kevin.

Yeah.

I do.

I-I do understand.

I understand

absolutely everything.

Anything that you could ever say to me,

I would understand.

And there's something that I've

been wanting to tell you too.

For a really long time, okay?

Mm-hmm.

And that is that...

I told my mom...

that you were my boyfriend.

And, like, I know

that I shouldn't have.

Oh, and another thing:

I've been following you.

When you're with those girls.

Just to make sure you're okay.

And I know that I shouldn't

and everything, but I just...

I don't know. I wanted

to make sure you were okay.

And I just felt, like, a little bit jealous,

and, uh... I don't know.

It's just that I've always felt like we

have this amazing connection, you know?

And, like, the first time

I ever met you...

It was

like I was watching again.

I mean, I was there

with Jamie, in the bar,

sitting on the hard stool.

But my true self

was actually up in the ceiling,

looking down,

watching myself sitting there.

I could see Jamie too.

I left you on the bed

And took all the money

Gonna buy you something

to ease the hurt

You're here.

You're here.

I am.

I've loved you for so long.

I know.

I've always loved you.

I know.

It's okay.

Okay.

This is Jean. Jean.

Forgotten after

a full-release body massage.

Oh, this is Fiona.

Uh... I forgot Fiona by joining

a gym I never ended up going to.

Brenda. I forgot Brenda

at the Museum of Modern Art.

I forgot... Mary.

Forgot Sarah.

Forgot Kelly.

I forgot...

Forgot.

Holy sh*t.

I had to do something radical,

something to forget all this

in a major way.

I was really going

out of my mind, I admit.

And I don't think I knew...

I mean, I...

I knew what was going on,

what was happening.

But I had to find some way

of canceling it all out.

Of forgetting Beth,

forgetting Adrienne...

and especially

forgetting Jamie.

I had to forget Jamie.

Kevie. Kevie!

Kevin!

I really feel that we made this...

this connection.

- I'm really sorry, Kevin.

- But I love you.

What do you mean?

- - I feel

like I can tell you anything.

- I've been following you. I've always

loved you. -

Beth.

- What are you doing here?

- Oh.

I thought you were someone else.

Ow.

Poor Beth.

She couldn't have known

what I was doing this for.

But once I started,

I had to keep going.

Come on.

I had to forget about

all this somehow.

Kevie. Kevie!

I just wish I could remember more

about Nicole, you know? Kevie!

What the hell was she doing in that

pool anyway? She wasn't allowed.

She was too little to swim.

I mean, I could barely swim myself.

What was I supposed to do?

How was I supposed to save her?

What are we gonna do with her?

How did you get in?

I finally got a key made.

Oh.

Why don't you go hop in the shower,

and I'll clean up here.

Go.

In the past I was a man

But now I'm a ghost

with dirty hands

I stain the ground

as I crawl to you

I stain the ground

as I move on through

Good.

Good. And tilt... Tilt your head a

little to the left. A little more.

Yeah. Completely.

In the dark I cannot sleep

Good. That's good.

- I can't escape these thoughts

that creep - Hmm.

Good. Look this way.

Great.

Yeah, let's see that smile.

Good. Good.

Perfect.

Move your hair.

A shadow descending

to be a man

Why don't you sit up here?

Me?

Just for one shot.

Mmm.

My makeup is a mess.

No, that's okay.

It's not a glamour shot, Jamie.

Plus, I just... I don't have any

pictures of you, that's all.

Let's see.

- You know, Jamie, I've been thinking

about... - I'm not gonna tell anyone.

I know.

I know that you

wouldn't do that. But...

You have to understand, I...

I can't go around

remembering all of this.

You know?

I have to forget.

Well-Well,

what about last night?

Do you have to forget...

Jamie,

last night was...

a mistake.

Oh.

Do you know what I mean?

It's okay.

It's okay.

'Cause I...

I have been thinking about something...

for a really long time.

And I even told Derek about it.

And he's trying

to talk me out of it, but...

I've got a whole...

whole f***ing bottle.

Of what?

Blue pills.

Blue.

Blue.

Jamie, it's gonna be beautiful.

It's gonna be so beautiful.

You.

Beautiful?

You...

are gonna be so beautiful.

Beautiful.

So beautiful.

- So beautiful.

- I promise.

I promise.

I'll give you something.

I wanna be beautiful

for you, Kevin.

I wanna be beautiful for you.

Kevin, if you are watching this,

that means that you found me.

And I just want you to know...

why I killed Beth Dalewell

in your studio.

And also,

why I took Adrienne

Gilcrest's life too.

I guess I was jealous.

And now I have nothing left...

to live for.

I have nothing left.

I'm sorry.

This is Adrienne.

I forgot her on a camping trip.

This is Beth.

Forgotten.

And this is Jamie.

Where did you get these anyway?

A doctor.

Said I was nervous.

You should wipe your fingerprints

off the bottle, don't you think?

Don't worry.

What if it doesn't work?

It'll work.

Kevin.

Can I keep my clothes on?

Sure. Sure,

you can keep 'em on.

If you're watching this, you've

discovered something you shouldn't have.

Anyway, um...

This... This is a close-up

of a model's eye.

I can't remember her name to save my life,

but she had the bluest eyes I'd ever seen.

The only other time I remember seeing

this exact intensity of blue...

was the day my sister drowned.

It was everywhere...

in the water, in the sky,

Nicole's skin.

Blue.

Nicole. She's the one girl

I keep trying to remember.

But I... I think

she's the problem.

I think...

I think she's the reason...

I am the way I am, right?

This is what it looked like,

these flashes of white.

It was like this empty slide.

The sun was flashing

off the water.

It was just like this.

Jesus.

I watched her.

I watched the whole thing.

Through the blue and the gold

and the white flashes.

The white...

flashes.

Flashes.

Kevie!

Kevin!

Kevin!

Help me! Somebody help!

Do you remember what happened,

sweetheart?

I just don't remember.

I watched her.

I was looking through the light.

Into the heart of the light.

Into the silence.

I knew my baby sister

was drowning.

And I let it happen.

I watched it...

because it was beautiful.

I let it happen...

because it was

beautiful to see.

Under the water,

Nicole called my name.

What I saw

were flashes of light.

And what I heard...

What did I hear?

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