Fort Apache

Get in there, Luke.

Get in there, I said.

Come on, there.

- Driver?

- Get in there, Rosie.

Driver, how much further

to this Hasenpfeffer...

...or whatever you call

the confounded place?

Hassayampa?

Oh, shouldn't be long now.

Once over the rise and round the bend,

then along a piece.

According to your schedule,

we should've been there an hour ago.

You don't suppose we could've

passed her, do you, Fink?

Might of, at that.

Don't you worry, soldier boy.

We'll get you there.

Soldier boy.

What a country.

Forty miles from mudhole to mudhole.

Mule Creek, Deadman's Squaw,

Schmidt's Wells.

Hangman's Flats, Hassayampa.

At end of the rainbow, Fort Apache.

Fort Apache.

Blast an ungrateful war department

that sends a man to a post out here.

Anyway, I'll be with you.

I hated all those years

you were in Europe.

Better there than here.

I didn't mean it that way, Phil.

It's just that after all I've done and been,

to be shunted aside like this...

We're coming in.

Practically on schedule. Right, Fink?

Practically.

- Ma Macbean?

- Hi. I'm coming.

- Nice trip, boys?

- Smooth as a rock.

How far is it to Fort Apache?

Oh, the fort's 35 miles south of here.

Were you expected?

- I telegraphed.

- Oh, that.

Telegraphs doesn't mean a thing.

One day the wire's up,

the next day they're down.

Thirty-five miles south.

Madam, is there a livery stable here?

No.

There must be some way

to rent a vehicle.

- A what?

- A rig. Any kind of rig.

Nothing fit for the lassie to ride in.

Oh, my, that's a real bonny bonnet, miss.

- St. Louis?

- Boston.

- Oh, Boston, Massachusetts?

- Here.

Oh, my.

That's mighty pretty, Ma.

Oh, my.

Oh, would you not like a wee cup of tea

and get rid of the dust?

Thank you.

If it isn't too much trouble.

Not a bit, lass, not a bit.

Come on. Right in here.

Son, how about a drink?

Gentlemen, I could use one.

Women.

There's your towel.

You'll be as fresh as a daisy.

Thanks, Ma.

Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am. I thought it was Ma.

I beg your pardon, miss.

Who and what are you, mister?

Lieutenant Michael O'Rourke, sir.

En route for duty at Fort Apache, sir.

- Get into uniform, mister.

- Yes, sir.

- Is there another wash-up back here, mister?

- Through the lean-to, sir.

Soldiers.

Giddap. Giddap.

- Johnny Reb.

- Uncle Festus.

- Timmy.

- Uncle Dan.

Gentlemen, gentlemen.

Your manners.

Sergeant Mulcahy,

with ambulance and escort...

...for Lieutenant Michael O'Rourke.

Very good, sergeant. At ease.

At ease, he says. At ease.

Hey! Hey!

- How much you pay for it?

- Seventy-five dollars.

- I could've swiped you one better than that.

- Well, it's tailor-made.

Well, look at the fit. A perfect soldier.

What do you think of it, ma'am?

Wonderful.

Ma'am, this is my godson

Lieutenant O'Rourke.

Many's the time he's come to me

with a wet nose.

Attention!

I am Colonel Thursday.

I presume you have been sent for me.

- No, sir.

- What are you doing here?

Escorting the ambulance from Fort Apache

for Lieutenant O'Rourke, sir.

- Have you had no orders regarding me?

- No, sir.

They couldn't have known

of your arrival, sir.

That's obvious, mister.

Unless it's the custom at Fort Apache...

...to provide transportation

for incoming second lieutenants...

...and leave a commanding officer

to travel shanks' mare.

You will, of course, sir,

accept my ambulance.

Thank you, mister.

- Sergeant, we'll leave in one half-hour.

- Yes, sir.

Get these men a drink

and put it on my account.

- We thank the colonel.

- Thank you, sir.

Oh, may I present Mr. O'Brien.

O'Rourke, sir.

O'Rourke. This is my daughter

Miss Philadelphia.

How do you do.

Your servant, ma'am.

Four bottles of cool beer, Ma.

And I'll have the same

with a whisky chaser.

Halt, who goes there?

The new commanding officer.

Holy Moses.

No, the new commanding officer.

Attention!

At your ease, gentlemen.

- Thursday.

- Hello, Collingwood.

How do you do, Mrs. Collingwood.

Well, thank you, Owen.

And this must be Philadelphia.

You don't remember me, do you?

Emily Collingwood.

Your mother was my dearest friend.

Why, of course.

Oh, I've heard so much about you.

- We didn't expect you.

- So I see.

Captain York.

I'm Captain York, sir.

I bid you welcome, General Thursday.

I'm not a general, captain.

A man is what he's paid for.

I'm paid in the rank

of lieutenant colonel.

I remembered you as a general

from the war, sir.

Very flattering. Didn't you receive

my telegraph, captain?

The wires have been down between here

and Fort Grant for two days.

We've had no communications.

Two days? The break

should have been repaired.

It's 110 miles to Fort Grant, sir.

Then I take it this dance is not in my honor.

- It's a birthday dance, sir.

- Birthday. Whose birthday?

General George Washington's, sir.

Shall I show you to your quarters,

or will you remain?

- Well, under the circumstances, I...

- Miss Thursday?

Hi, Dad.

Mickey.

Woman of the house, your son is home.

- Son.

- Hi, Ma.

Oh, how fine you look.

But you're so tall.

Oh, Michael, stand over beside the boy

so I can see.

Oh, you're just exactly the same.

Now, come over here and sit down

and tell me everything.

Gee, Ma, you haven't changed a bit.

Nothing has.

And why would it?

Four years is not so long.

Or did you think to find me

grown gray completely?

Woman, I'll leave you alone

with your son.

Lieutenant Michael O'Rourke, sir.

Have I the lieutenant's permission

to leave, sir?

Sergeant Major O'Rourke has permission.

Thank you, sir.

Michael, God's blessing on you this day.

Boys, I'm not a drinking man,

as you know, but there are times.

And tonight, if the sutler's store

is still open...

Michael, darling, if it ain't,

I'll kick the door down with me bare fists.

Dad?

Good morning.

It's all right.

There's no one here but me,

and I've been up for simply ages.

Did you want to see Father or me?

Well, neither, really.

I just called to leave my card.

Oh, how nice.

But if you didn't want

to see me...

I mean, if you don't want to see us...

...then what do you want

to leave your card for?

I didn't say I didn't want to see you.

Why, you did so.

I asked if you wanted

to see Father or me...

...and you said, your exact words,

"Well, neither, really. "

Well, what I meant to say was

I didn't expect to see either of you.

Well, who did you expect to see?

After all, we do live here.

Why don't you sit down?

Good morning, good morning,

fair dancing partner.

- Good morning, sir.

- Relax, Mickey.

I got some bad news for you.

You've been assigned to my troop.

Michael Shannon O'Rourke,

lieutenant, United States Army.

Leaving your calling cards already,

Mickey, eh?

He can keep his old cards.

Oh, he can't do that. Protocol requires it.

An officer, upon reporting

to a new post...

...must wait upon his commanding officer

at the first possible moment.

He will leave his card.

He will leave an additional card for each

lady in the commanding officer's family.

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