Four Page #2

Once middle school came,

he started acting weird.

Like a f*ggot?

Yeah, I guess.

Wearing flamboyant clothes?

Yeah...

And he started

hanging out with all girls.

I wonder what

he's doing tonight?

He's probably out.

I know he goes to Chez.

- The bar Chez?

- Yeah.

And they don't beat the sh*t

out of him at school?

I guess people

just leave him alone

because he's too weird

or something.

Do people leave you alone?

Yeah, I guess.

I don't really talk a lot.

- Wanna go and see him?

- No!

C'mon!

We're only five minutes away.

I don't want to do that.

So you're not scared

to meet some guy

you just met

on the computer.

But you're scared

to see someone--

- I don't want to know him.

- Why not?

I don't know.

When we were 13,

he was still pretty normal.

I know 'cause,

he used to be on the swim team

and I used to dive.

I wasn't really talking

to him or anything.

We had this swim coach,

and he was

the diving coach too...

I had a funny feeling

about him.

- Fag?

- Yeah.

What?

No, go on.

I'm anticipating the story.

Go on.

One night my mom was really

late to pick me up.

And I saw Ted give Todd

a ride home in his car...

which coaches, I mean,

you're not supposed to.

It was making me really mad,

like I didn't know what to do.

I decided to give him a call -

to see, like...

Just to see if he was home.

And I don't

know why or anything.

I just said, like meanly, like,

'You're gay, aren't you?'

And then I hung up.

You hung up?

I hung up...

And I never spoke

to him again after that.

I don't know if he knew

if it was me or not,

but I just never...

I hated him after that.

You hated him?

Yeah. I just...

I don't know.

Okay, June...

Where do you

want to go right now?

Where do I want to go?

Okay, just tell me.

C'mon. Just tell me.

This is your night.

You're the young man,

I'm the old man.

Tell me.

Coach Donavan said

he thinks I'm like the best

Division II player

he's ever seen.

Says he wants to

give me a transfer

to a Division I school.

But that my grades

are a little bit bad.

Plus, my record.

But apparently some schools

are still interested,

so, you know, that's cool.

Which schools?

A couple.

Watch this...

Oh, God!

Showoff.

So tell me...

Why'd you change your mind?

Felt like it.

Yeah?

I know I'm a white boy and you

ain't into that kind of thing.

Half white, half spic.

Don't sell yourself short.

Oh!

You're a little bit racist!

I mean, apparently you ain't

into either one.

I never said that.

That I'm not into white boys.

I never said that.

So then tell me...

You think I'm cute? You

think I'm handsome?

You think I'm pretty?

You can tell me. C'mon!

I don't like your questions.

What if I told you...

I think you're pretty?

I'd accept the complement.

What if I told you

I think that you

are beautiful?

I think that you

are beautiful chocolate.

You just ruined it

by calling me chocolate.

What if I told you

I think you're beautiful -

no chocolate?

Even though it's delicious.

I know you're intentions.

You know that, right?

You know you ain't fooling me.

I don't got no intentions.

I mean, f*** that.

I'm here with you right.

You were saying.

I wasn't saying anything.

You were saying that...

you think that

I'm cute sometimes.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Alright, so then when?

When do you think I'm cute?

When you're smiling

like a little boy.

You think I'm like a little boy?

Sometimes.

You don't get it...

It's hard to talk to you.

You think I'm stupid,

don't you?

You think I'm like at home

playing with Legos,

puttin' my finger

up my nose and sh*t.

You think I'm not

good enough for you.

That I can't understand

your thoughts,

or whatever is going on

in your head.

I got thoughts too.

Watch.

Before the night is out...

you're gonna

tell me your thoughts.

I wish you did want

to see the fireworks.

But you don't wanna do that.

That's okay,

maybe we could stay here.

That's cool too. We can see

the sky get all bright...

Watch the clouds light up...

That's cool too.

I used to love coming here.

Everybody knew who I was.

I played basketball.

I was the leading scorer.

They wrote about me

in the newspaper.

The only thing I didn't

like to do was confession.

I hated that sh*t.

You believe in God?

I believe in God.

I don't got no reason not too.

I don't know why I wouldn't.

My dad didn't believe in God,

look at that b*tch.

He's fat and toothless.

Don't talk about

your dad that way.

Don't tell me how to

talk about my dad.

Some kids gettin'

an early start!

What you kissing me for?

You okay?

You are so warm.

Let's go.

Where?

Your house.

My house?

Why don't we go to your house?

I wanna go. C'mon.

Wait, wait. Come here.

Give me another kiss.

I wanna go.

Damn. You are so warm.

Dexter.

Okay. Okay.

Wait, wait.

Thank you.

I love motels, I love 'em.

Why?

Just do. Just love 'em.

There always here. Always open.

TV. Shower. Phone.

The essential tools of living

in a completely

anonymous setting.

You can re-invent yourself.

And this book...

The greatest book ever.

The Bible is

the greatest book ever?

It's inspired and enraged

so many people.

That's what makes it

the best book.

I hate going to church.

Why do you go then?

My parents go.

We've always gone.

Turn on the TV.

You know, I bet motels

are one of the few places

people feel comfortable

reading the Bible.

Anything on?

Not much.

Turn it off.

I'm just gonna take a shower.

Why do you have to

take a shower?

I want to.

- You nervous?

- No.

I'll put you at ease.

No. I just feel...

I'm not clean.

I feel a little sweaty.

Okay. It's up to you.

I'll just...

I'll be quick.

I volunteer

a couple days a week.

At the University.

I see a lot of kids

in trouble these days.

Sad kids.

I didn't seem that sad

when I was growing up.

We learned to keep a lot inside.

We didn't expect too much.

Maybe that was...

a good thing, you know.

The other day

I was with this man.

And he was very poor.

He was on food stamps

and welfare.

And he's white.

He'd just had it.

He's a little older than me.

Graduated from high school.

But he hadn't gone to college.

And he had a family.

Can you hear me in there?!

Yeah!!

Well, he had a family.

And he lost his family.

He left them.

And he married another woman.

And then he left her too.

And then he stopped

trying to be married.

He wanted to...

be on his own.

He wanted to do

what he wanted to do.

The work that I do -

it's a counseling center.

It's a health center.

I see a lot of kids.

It's a surprise to see

an older person -

especially a man.

And he's there

getting his blood tested.

And as we were talking...

I started to realize.

I started...

to remember this man.

Well, I realized this...

was the first man I slept with.

I remember because he had a scar

on the bottom of his left ear.

It looked like a snake,

I remember thinking.

It was the 80s.

And I was going through

a rough point at that time.

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