Four Boxes

I am a privacy fence salesman.

Top sales,

three straight years.

Goal...

make manager by next spring.

Quit selling dead people's crap

on the weekends.

Get excited about my wedding.

Hey, man.

Wanna do a couple funerals?

'Sup, douche?

Go time, playa.

"You die, and we fly".

Know what I'm sayin'?

Know what I'm sayin',

Trevor G?

William Zill.

Centerville.

Sounds like a loser.

Yeah, that one looked hot.

Connie Campbell.

- Remember her three years ago?

- Yeah.

The unicorn collection

got me my flat-screen.

Two weeks

till they sell the house.

Mm.

Let's get the sh*t, hombre.

This is the place

we've been looking for.

Hey.

I saw on the Internet

that shrimp fettuccine...

is only 293 people in the whole

world's favorite food...

outta 2 million.

I'm special.

Speaking of special...

did you and the little lady

set a date yet?

No, Rob.

Still waiting for the...

pagoda.

What's a pagoda?

- Ay, caramba.

- "F."

This looks like one of my mom's

Bible-study buddies' places.

Ew!

You're old enough

for your own condo, man,

especially with the big promotion.

Promotion.

F~ing I.T. Wage wookie man.

I swear,

every one of these places...

- is getting worse.

- Bunch of junk.

Look at that.

- TV?

- Yeah.

All this crap from Bang a Gong

ain't selling on eBay, man.

Word.

We'll see what he's got upstairs.

Bunch of junk.

Yeah, baby.

Whoops.

Nice porn.

What do you know?

Another nut.

What do you know?

Why everybody

gotta be so weird?

- Computer.

- Yep.

Oh, sh*t.

Trevor, check it out.

This guy's seen "Four Boxes".

What's "Four Boxes"?

I'll show it to you.

Seriously, I thought I was

the only one that knew about it.

It's this freaky

little deep Google site...

I found googling

cheap cardboard boxes.

Fourboxes dot tv.

Regular voyeur site,

whatever.

Chick put tiny,

invisible cameras up...

all over her apartment.

Watch this chick eat cereal,

flick the bean,

get ready for work,

blah, blah, blah.

But, no, then it starts to rock.

Couple weeks ago,

chick moves out, takes her sh*t,

but didn't unhook

the cameras.

Then, a couple days ago,

guy rents the place...

fourboxes dot tv...

to a totally new person.

There he is.

This guy doesn't know

he's being watched.

And the dude trumps the chick.

Man, he's f-ing weird.

I call him Havoc.

Where is this coming from?

No way to know, man.

Four rooms, four boxes...

full of... plastic crap

from China.

I mean, where's it not

coming from, yo?

Sound?

Silent movie.

Doesn't look like

a chick's place.

- I know.

- Where's the Glade Pluglns?

It did, man.

A hot one, too.

Bummed to see her go.

She had an awesome ass.

This guy brought

all this crap in...

and totally

just trashed the place.

Hey.

What's up with this?

Oh, yeah. Cops said

this dude's ex-wife...

hung herself over here

six months ago...

just to f*** with the guy.

Suicides rule!

Like my dad...

get outta our way, losers.

I love it, man.

I love it.

When my parents

were still married,

this is all they had...

everywhere.

I probably gonna have

to waste some money...

and pick up that new

Chili Peppers disc when I get a sec.

It's out today.

Anthony Kiedis.

Flea.

It sucks when suddenly

you realize you're old school.

Yeah, it sucks.

Play some live,

for Christ sakes.

Life sucks, dude, right?

Yep.

Life sucks.

Ooh

Ooh

Shower.

Yeah.

No f-in' way!

Yeah, baby.

Losers rule!

What is this sh*t?

That's about

Did you see the photo album

of this dude's upstairs?

All the faces are

cut outta the pictures.

BFD. My mom cut Tim's face

out of all my baby pictures.

Yeah, one big difference here,

homeslice...

these pictures ain't got no fat,

ugly b*tch in them, next to the hole.

True dat.

That is pretty weird, I guess.

It's like someone

was trying to get rid of themselves.

Man... I remember when I was a kid

just laying on my bed...

listening to the f***ing sh*t

on "Californication".

Wasn't that just,

like five years ago?

Yeah, I guess.

I don't know.

Oh. Check these, man.

- Mm.

- Get in that basket, b*tch.

Oh, yeah...

What's she here, dude?

Chips-and-dip bowl,

I guess.

Computers make me horny.

One cool thing the Internet

makes you realize...

the only difference

of all the world's chicks...

I mean,

with their clothes off...

is their teeth and the f***ing

couches they're spread- eagle on.

Fit's like a burlap bag

for a couch,

then it's probably, like, Russia.

Word.

Should we just sleep here, then?

Why not? Easy.

Mmm. I gotta try

to start drinking wine now.

How come?

I gotta grow up.

Wack place.

- Hey, babe.

- Hey, honey bundle.

And hi, Trevor.

- Got some breakfasts.

- Sweet.

I'm flippin' ravenous over here.

What're you doing here, Amber?

- Hey, I invited her, man.

- What? Why?

Um... because she's my fiancee,

and I wanted her here.

What about our work, homes?

It's my choice, bro,

and I wanted her here.

Any of you guys

remember last summer?

I introduced you guys

at TGl Bardays?

You, my girlfriend?

You, my junior partner?

You did me dirty, man.

Trevor, things just happen.

- Fate and chance and...

- Oh, here we go.

It's, like, don't you got

a new girlfriend now, too?

Things flow, Trevor.

Things are.

- Every day's a new world.

- Yeah. Brit.

We're engaged, actually.

Brit.

That's right...

Brit.

Well, see, that's grand.

That's grand.

You sound like your mom.

Really? Well, awesome.

She's my best friend, so...

That b*tch is your best friend?

Not cool.

Hey, man.

Come on.

You might've f***ing

told me the plan, partner.

Yeah, but it was my plan, broseph.

Plus, I knew if I told you,

you would never have gone for it.

- Oh, flubber!

- What happened, cooch?

Oh, no biggie bigsville.

Just munched

a 45 dollar manicure in the ass.

Girl thing.

Still really ticked

about my futon, too.

Futon?

What futon?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

This is super awesome.

Yeah.

Do it righteous.

- Totally awesome.

- Yeah!

Oh, keep having sex!

I love it!

This is so strange.

What's that?

Whatever, Rob.

What you listen to?

Music?

Yeah.

I had to drown out the racket.

Hmm.

Sunset.

Sunset.

A~ha.

Ah, sh*t.

What the f***?

All we ever talk about

Is all the things

we think about

Organize my garage.

Like love and pain

and loneliness

Dump Brit.

And me and you

and tenderness

And now

Now

And now I'm on my own again

And learning how to love again

And learning how to love again

La choy is in the hizz.

- Why am I hungry again?

- Rankrizzle.

You just pile-drived, pile-drove,

like 10 egg rolls.

God.

This bed is like holy hell.

I knew this would be weird

with Trevor.

Us planning our wedding,

and him...

so out of touch

with the flow of his emotions.

You totally still have

a thing for him, don't you?

Someone posted something

on my site.

What, on "Tears of sadness"?

"Tears of confusion".

Jesus, Rob.

Learn my site name.

Oh...

a pervert in Colorado

thinks I'm hot.

Awesome.

Yeah, it is awesome.

What I mean is maybe it wasn't

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