Four Daughters Page #5

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Save you a lot of travel.

That's alright with me.

I was evicted this morning.

I'm going to miss those cobwebs.

Well, look over this first movement. I'll

be back after 4 and we'll get you a room.

Just so it's the other side of the rail

tracks. I can't breathe this clean air.

Say, there's a lady in the kitchen.

Introduce yourself to her.

The name is "aunt Etta".

I know the type.

See you later.

I thought it didn't sound

like Felix playing.

As far as I know, you may be a burglar

and have designs on the piano.

According to Felix, I'm

supposed to introduce myself.

Mickey Borden.

I guess you are aunt, aunt

something-or-other?

Etta.

Etta.

Yep.

The name fits right in with those

curtains and that hob. Domestic.

My name came first. Then the curtains.

What type of aunt are you?

A rough voice hiding the soft heart?

Or are you ..

The "sweet-simple land-sakes-alive

I-smell-something-burning"aunt?

Felix should have prepared me for you.

How about a cup of tea?

Sure.

May I throw in a couple of cakes?

How did you know I hadn't eaten

since yesterday morning?

I'm the "near-sighted-you-can't

hide-a-thing-from-me" type of aunt.

I see.

Well you needn't look so noble.

Tea is only a little hot water.

I'll go and put the kettle on. I'll let

you know what I think about you later.

Hello, aunt Etta.

Hello, dear.

You're home early, aren't you?

Yes, I couldn't finish my lesson.

Steven Spratt broke his violin.

Oh isn't that too bad. Did he drop it?

That's what I claim but

he says I threw it at him.

This is my niece, Ann.

Ann, this is Mickey.

Mickey something-or-other.

Borden.

Borden?

The name just goes

with that shirt and tie.

He's a friend of Felix, I think.

We just know each other.

I'm orchestrating his composition.

I was going to make

Mr Borden a cup of tea.

Just a little hot water.

Get set. You're in for something.

Got a cigarette?

Why yes.

Here you are.

Cork tipped, no less.

You've scared it. It always behaves

that way in front of company.

Oh, just keep on playing.

You know, I read someplace, that the

invention of the cigarette lighter ..

Increased the use of matches

a thousand percent.

I laughed when I read it.

You could have at least smiled.

Say, is that part of

Felix's composition?

Something of my own.

Why, it's beautiful.

It stinks.

You are probably right.

I was only making conversation.

Still, I hope you're not

entering it in the competition.

You know, round these parts,

we want Felix to win.

I couldn't enter it if I wanted to.

It's only got a middle.

You only wrote a middle?

Just a middle.

Oh, no beginning, no end?

You think that's right to leave a song

dangling in midair with no face or feet?

Why not?

Well for one thing, a full bodied

composition may easily win first prize.

I wouldn't win first prize if I were

the only entry in the contest.

Mathematically speaking,

I think you'd stand a fine chance.

You think they'd let me win?

Of course.

Say.

The fates, the destinies, whoever they

are that decide what we do or don't get.

What do you mean?

They've been at me now

nearly a quarter of a century.

No let up.

First they said, let them

do without pianists.

They'll get along.

Then they decided.

He doesn't need any education.

That's for sissies.

Then right at the beginning,

they tossed a coin..

Heads he's poor. Tails he's rich.

So they tossed a coin .. with two heads.

Then for the finale, they

got together on talent.

Sure they said. Let him have talent.

Not enough to let him do anything on

his own. Anything good or great.

Just enough to let him

help other people.

It's all he deserves.

Well, you put all this together,

and you've got Michael Bogart.

Bogart?

That's the name I was born with.

I thought if I changed it, I'd

throw them 'em off the trail.

Didn't work.

Of course, you know

you've been very silly.

Who asked you to listen?

Sorry.

You are insulting a person who believes

that a man decides his own destiny.

Who believes that if a man has enough

courage and enough ambition ..

I guess I deserved that.

But I know enough of music to know that

if you finish your composition, you'd ..

I tell you they won't

stand for my winning.

They are up there, working

overtime against me.

What some people will

do for time and a half.

Here, have another cigarette.

We won't talk about it anymore.

I can see it is a painful subject.

Ha .. it's my favorite subject.

Talking about my tough

luck is the only fun I get.

But ..

Oh,aunt Etta, help.

I can't cope with him.

Were you laughing just then?

Huh?

Were you laughing?

Oh yeah, I think so. Why?

I wish you'd do me a favor.

What?

Throw your head back and just laugh.

Why?

No reason. Just laugh.

I knew I was right.

You don't know the first

thing about laughter.

I see the sort of thing I'm up against.

The gay-young-thing type.

An unimportant species.

It isn't the quality of your laughter I'm

complaining about. It's your attitude.

Attitude?

Yes, when I wanted you to laugh just

then you wanted to know why you should.

As if a person had to

have a reason to laugh.

Someday I'll give you a talk on the

difference between a laugh and a giggle.

Oh aunt Etta, you were right.

I've had enough.

Now then. Cream or lemon?

Neither.

No see here. You're just being

purposely contrary minded.

You'll take on or the other.

Quick, now? Which?

Now don't try to be hard-boiled, Etta.

It doesn't come off.

I'm going to have some tea

and figure this man out.

Wait until he gets a sandwich.

He won't be so vicious.

Can you read them?

Thea .. Ben .. Felix .. Ann.

Dad .. aunt Etta.

Emma .. Ernest .. Kay.

And .. Mickey.

No.

You deserve better than that.

We cooked the lot in a week.

There. Hows that, better?

You like yourself?

You got me grinning like an idiot.

I knew you'd see a resemblance.

Say, were you sneaking round my

room yesterday when I was out?

How did you guess? I tried

not to leave any fingerprints.

The minute my back is turned

you put curtains up on me.

That isn't all. Next time you're out,

I'll slip a few flowerpots on your sill.

No. No flowers.

Why not?

Well, they use up all the oxygen.

Hey listen. Get tough and I'll be

up the lace pillow cases.

You just tried.

You may object to living like a human

being but at least you'll sleep like one.

My landlady has got orders

to shoot you on sight.

When I've finished with your

room, I'll start in on you.

Just look at yourself.

What's wrong with me?

Your hair is reaching for the ceiling,

your tie is at half mast, and ..

Mickey, there is something about the

State of New York I want you to know.

Huh? What?

Well in the State of New York it

is strictly constitutional to have ..

A crease in the pants.

Tonight is Dad's birthday party.

I think a pair of pressed pants would

add the right touch to the celebration.

I'll think about it.

I've got to go in town

and buy Dad a present.

In the meantime, how about doing a

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