Four in the Morning Page #3

---

- Darling, be reasonable.

Joe and I have just come back

from a great party

just to see you.

- Well thank you very much,

you stink of scotch.

- Oh come on, darling, you'll have a drink

and then you can stink of scotch too.

Joe, come in.

- [Jude] No.

- Come in here, Joe.

- No, and get off my bed.

- The baby's awake now Joe, come in here.

- No Joe, get out.

- I'm not in.

- Why did you come back

from the bloody party

if you wanted to go on like this?

- Because I want to drink in my own house.

Is there anything so wrong about that?

There's my darling, darling face.

Come here, my love.

You don't think your daddy's

a monster, do you?

Well mummy's going to take you back

into your own room now.

Now where are you going?

- I'm just going.

- Don't be bloody ridiculous.

Just because I bring somebody home.

- And into my bedroom.

- We didn't know she was in here.

- Well you should have done.

Give me the baby.

- Oh come on, Jude, darling.

Hello, my love, hello.

- Ah, look, she's smiling.

Clever old daddy made you laugh.

- Yes, clever old daddy.

- You're not laughing at all, are you?

- And I don't want to.

- Have a drink, Jude, come on.

What's the matter then,

don't you love him anymore Jude?

Is it my fault bringing

him home late like this?

What'd I say now?

- What are you doing in here?

- I just want to be

in whatever room you're not.

- Right, I'll stay in here then.

- Very well, I'll go in there.

- Fine, why don't you stop

playing silly games?

- Why don't you try

being kept awake all night?

- I do my share.

- What the hell do you think I do?

I suppose you think I like sitting in there

waiting for you to phone me.

- I thought it was face

kept you awake not me.

- Don't call her that.

- I thought you might be

relieved to get rid of me

for one evening.

- Why didn't you phone me

if you were going to be late?

- Because you said you'd be asleep already.

- Where do you put the aspirin?

- The what?

- The aspirin.

- It's in the kitchen cabinet.

- I looked and it wasn't.

- All right, I'll go out

and get you some in the machine.

- Too late, I've already been.

Why didn't you tell me if you were going to

stay out all night?

- Because you told me

to go out and enjoy myself.

- I thought you'd be back

when the pubs closed.

- And you told me

that you'd be asleep anyway.

- Oh, Norman.

- Look, I met Joe, we went to a pub,

Bernie was there, we just

sort of drifted on, you know.

I'm sorry.

- I suppose you don't know she's teething.

- I know she's teething.

What is the point?

- There's no point.

Are you getting out of here or am I?

- When you're ready,

Joe and I will be in the next room.

- Okay and when she cries

you can look after her.

- All right.

- Oh get out of here.

- [Norman] I'm going.

- She was not pleased.

- She's never bloody pleased.

Look, if you're going you'd better go now

before there's a real blow up.

What am I going to do, Joe?

- There they were alone

in the desert island,

not a palm tree in sight,

the B-52's were coming in.

- Don't make fun of everything.

Why do you think I went out?

If I'd stayed in the row would

have happened some other way.

- You're as bad as she is.

Go make it up to her.

She wants you to.

- You think so?

You have a very rosy tinted

picture of that lady.

if I may say so.

- I haven't got a picture

of her at all, mate.

I'm talking about Jude in there.

- And?

Oh, put on a record, Joe.

- I haven't got one that fits me.

- Joe, you're a terrible person.

- And you're a dirty stop art.

It's the baby, innit?

- No, it's not just that.

It makes you wonder what it's all about.

- You talk like your grandfather, daddy.

- If you're not going home,

go and make some coffee.

Or maybe we should reconnoiter.

There might still be some life left among

the dregs of Bernie's.

- Norman.

- Send me up.

- Those are little darlings

for bachelors only.

- Ah, sadistic bastard.

You know, I miss having another human being

around the house, somebody you can talk to

open up with without

feeling like you're going

to get a kick in the crotch every time.

- I'm tired.

- What a great help you are.

Well, why don't you go home, Joe?

I've got to work in the morning.

- And what do you think it is now?

I'll make some coffee.

(background chatter)

- [Girl] You hungry?

- I only had a carrot.

- What do you like?

- Grapefruit?

- Apples?

- No, no, we only sell

them by the box, madam.

- Only one to two.

- And what have you got there?

- Breakfast.

- And that?

- Mushrooms for omelettes.

Don't you like mushrooms?

- Here.

- Thank you.

- Come on, let's go home.

Hammersmith Broadway, here we come.

I hope you can cook.

- [Girl] I'm a bit out of practice.

- Well you can practice on me.

I hope you have enough eggs.

- About all I have got.

- I can just see you're

a poor little lost bird

in a poor little nest in

Hammersmith with nothing

but eggs and nescafe.

I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish.

Are you happy?

- Hi Jude, do you want some coffee?

- No.

- She asleep?

Teething, eh?

Yeah, I know what that's like,

had it myself once.

I'll tell you what, you stay there.

Look, tell you what,

I'll bring you a cup of coffee

in here, eh?

- Hey Joe, do you want to keep paying for

what's left of the night.

- With all the shouting goes on round here

it's a wonder you got any neighbours left.

Shall I go home?

- No, get into bed, bunk up.

- No thanks, I prefer Norman.

- Well you're welcome to him.

- Do you know about me and him?

- Oh Joe, you're a fool.

- I see.

I was keeping the baby awake now.

- What do you find attractive about him?

- What, Norm?

- His small toe?

- Yeah, he's not pretty so much as ugly.

- [Jude] Perhaps if we sit here

quietly, he'll go away.

- Yeah, disappear.

- Pardon me for living.

I'll make the coffee.

- It worked, he's gone out.

- He can stay out for a while.

I'm sick and fed up of

the sight and sound of him.

- Me as well.

I do want to make some breakfast

in the morning, eh?

Open a tin of tomatoes.

Very good at opening tins of tomatoes.

You have brunch for any Saturday morning,

I'll be there having tinned it.

Are you sure you don't want any coffee?

- You two seem to be

getting on very well in there.

- Jealous?

- Come on.

(birds squawking)

- Do you think they know

we're only just going home?

They're all going to work.

I feel sorry for them.

- So do I, except they've

already had breakfast.

- Do you think his wife's fat too?

- [Boy] Probably.

- She probably got up

at three to scrub offices.

He had to get his own breakfast.

Bread and dripping in stewed tea.

- Oh no.

She got home in time to give him breakfast.

He looks like he'd belt her

around the room if she didn't.

(bell rings)

We're off.

- What did your father do?

- He was a carpenter and builder.

- Can you do carpentry?

- Oh, that's a catch question.

I think for the moment I'll just say no.

- If you're going to

have me cooking for you,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes