Frank Page #4

---

I know you want me to end up

like don or Lucas,

but that's not gonna be

my role in this band.

You are a mediocre child.

- Excuse me?!

- You're an infection.

You're like Joseph...

You keep him locked up like...

You're bindweed,

chickweed, pit tramp,

- abscess, absence, vacuum.

- ... Josef...

- What's his f***ing name?!... Josef Fritzl!

- Middle management!

C*nt!

Oh, f***ing hell!

Oh, f***ing hell!

Oh oh God!

Ow ow!

Ow ow ow, oh f***!

I'm f***ing dying.

This is gonna be awkward.

What is?

Us, you know...

Together.

We will never be together.

Oh.

I find you...

Disgusting.

Mmm.

- Disgusting!

- Yeah, okay.

I get the point.

Clara.

What does he look like?

I don't know.

Was it awful in

the mental hospital, Clara?

- How should I know?

- I assumed you were mentally ill.

- You did?

- Mm-hmm.

Oh.

So why are you so against us

finding an audience then,

if it's not because

you're mentally ill?

You're in love with Frank.

You love him and you're scared

that if other people love him,

- you'll lose him.

- And one day I'll take off my glasses,

and he'll really see me.

And we'll do big kisses.

That's really how you think?

Don't presume to tell me

how I think.

If you f*** everything up

in America,

I'll stab you.

It's just like

"Paris, Texas," isn't it?

It's definitely...

What you looking for?

Don.

Hey, don?

Hey, partner.

I remember you saying

that the desert here

was your favorite place

in the whole world...

After SeaWorld, San Diego.

I know you were homesick, don.

I know there were times

when you wanted

to come back here,

but you didn't because of me.

Well, you're home now, don.

I promise those

sacrifices you made

won't be in vain.

Jon has foretold of a night

some nights from now when,

thanks to a secret camera,

legions and multitudes

of already adoring fans

shall gather

and-and they shall

receive our music

- in rapture.

- Okay.

- Oh!

- It's grownut.

Frank, it's grownut.

All right, don.

- Let's feed the desert with you anyway.

- Oh, don.

It's f***ing grownut!

- Looking good!

- Don't touch me.

- Awesome costume, guy.

- Oh, thank you.

Thank you. We're

playing the sunshine

day after tomorrow.

Frank!

- Hello.

- Something tells me that

you guys are the Soronprfbs.

- That's us.

- You're Jon.

- Yes, hi.

- So here are the festival passes.

And an information pack

and did Simone

pronounce your name right?

- Jon.

- No, the band's name.

Oh, actually I don't know.

Clara, how do we pronounce

the band's name?

- Ask him.

- Listen, are you guys hungry?

Uh, yeah.

- Because we were gonna go get something to eat.

It's the best pancake house

in town.

There's open Mike.

It's gonna be awesome.

Awesome.

Awesome.

I sit in Tracy's bedroom

with my knee-socks

and Chelsea's beanie

Talking boyfriends

Tongues and weenies...

You guys have been

in the forest so long,

all this craziness has to be

kind of overwhelming, I guess.

No, we're cool

with that, you know.

I'm delighted to be

launching our album here.

Delighted look, you know.

This is the most...

Unique...

And exciting opportunity

you've given us

to finally play in front of people who

actually know and love us, you know.

Until now, our audiences

tend to be people who...

Who chance upon us,

and realize after a few minutes

- they don't like us.

- Frank!

Actually, I gotta tell you guys.

I mean, we know who you are.

Simone and me, we found you, but the

audience won't have heard of you yet.

They do not know and love us.

But more than 23,700 people

watched us on YouTube.

Oh, 23,000 hits

on YouTube is nothing.

They do not know us. Yeah,

those kind of views,

maybe one or two people

in the room will know you.

Maybe nobody. Half a million, that's

when you're onto something big.

We f***ed it up. Okay, but

they're cool though, right?

- I mean they'll like us.

- They'll love you.

Jon, Jon?

"Recent revelations have

raised serious questions

in the band about the reception

we can look forward to

at new discoveries."

Lick my ass!

"A hastily arranged warm-up

gig earlier this evening..."

"...did nothing

to steady the ship.

Luckily, I am no longer

the man I was a year ago.

Now, in crisis,

I see creative possibility.

It turns out, I may be

closer to the zeitgeist

than certain people

gave me credit for.

I am ready to make

my mark on this band."

So you want us

to change our sound?

Look, we've always demanded that

the audience stretch their corners

all the way out to meet ours.

But what if, Frank...

What if we pull our corners back

a little bit?

Just a tiny tiny bit

and then everyone's corners can

meet in a place that's still

a really long way off.

But it's just a bit less...

You know?

And a bit more likeable.

- But not in a bad way.

- I'm not playing the f***ing ukulele.

Frank...

I'm writing my most

likeable song ever.

I've always dreamed that one day

I'd have a band member

who shared my vision

of creating

extremely likeable music.

So thank you, Jon.

You gave me the

little push I needed.

- Yeah.

- Okay, enough chatter.

Here it is!

My most likeable song...

Ever.

Coca-Cola,

lipstick, Ringo

Dance all night,

dance all night

I've got dancing legs, whoo

I've got dancing legs

They won't stop me dancing,

no, they won't stop me dancing

Kiss me, just kiss me

Kiss me, Nefertiti

Just the way you like it

Just the way you like it,

kiss me, kiss me

Lipstick kiss me,

lipstick Ringo

That's the way

you like it!

Uh...

This is your most

likeable song ever?

Yeah!

- People will love it.

- Actually...

Actually, Frank,

I think that we could

push the likeability

even further.

No way!

You're shitting me.

How?

Can I just...

Um, where did you start?

But what if... I don't know,

we regulate it a bit more?

I love it!

- Yeah? And then maybe, you know, um...

- I love it.

If we played an "F" down here,

that would be good, wouldn't it?

You should be famous!

That's so likeable!

Jon fixed it!

I'm officially here.

Check me.

Hello.

Sorry.

Thanks.

- We're igniting the light and letting it shine.

We're igniting the light

and letting it shine.

- We're igniting the light and letting it...

- Hi.

Hey hi, can I get

a quick word with you?

We were in the forest

like secret squirrels.

Now we're likeable.

We're... we're so...

It's gonna be huge.

Jon fixed everything.

- You gotta come see us tomorrow night.

- Great!

- I promise nothing bad'll happen to you.

- Thank you so much.

- Let's go take a walk.

- I'm incredibly happy to be here.

- I'm fine, I'm relaxed!

- Great.

You know, forgive me

for my problems formerly.

The people were liking it.

The weight.

I'm fine, I'm fine.

I'm totally relaxed.

I'm... I'm fine,

I'm perfectly fine.

Frank's not okay. What

are you talking about?

I need your help

to get him out of here.

He said he's perfectly fine,

- relaxed.

- I need your help to get him out of here.

He looks happy to me.

- Whereas you seem...

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes