Freaks Page #3

For the most beautiful woman

in all the world.

Darling.

Hello there, baby.

Where have you been so long?

You're a funny guy, Phroso.

- Sometimes, you panic me.

- Don't I know it?

I panic the world because I use my noodle.

I think up funny gags.

I make the world laugh.

With me, clowning is an art.

Why the hat? The head cold?

- Thought you and me had a date to go out.

- I forgot all about it.

Well, I'm into this now.

I've got to go through with it.

Make it snappy, will you?

I'm all dolled up for the occasion.

Sorry, kid. Can't do it now.

We'll make it some other time.

Don't feel that way about it.

I just got this idea all of a sudden.

I've got to finish it.

- Funny gag, isn't it?

- Yeah, I'm laughing myself sick.

Come on.

Honey, come on.

Now, now.

That's much better.

That's the first time you've ever done that.

- Ain't the first time I felt like doing it.

- Yeah?

I don't mind telling you

I've wanted to do this for a long time.

- We're all set now, Venus?

- Yeah.

- All set now.

- Yeah.

Please do.

Don't you want to make me happy?

- Yes, but I don't know what to say.

- Just say yes, dear.

Will you?

- Yes.

- Violet.

What are your kicking about?

You've got a good wife. You're happy.

It's that sister-in-law of mine.

She wants to sit up half the night, reading.

- That's tough.

- Tough? You...

- Good night, darling.

- Good night, Frulein.

Cleo's gone on a diet.

- It's awfully sweet of you to say that.

- And I know Violet will be happy.

Here's Roscoe.

- Hello.

- Roscoe, this is Mr. Rogers.

Glad to meet you.

- Violet and he are engaged to be married.

- Yeah?

Yes, and you must come

to see us sometime.

Thanks.

You must come to visit...

Come to see us sometime, too.

I certainly will. Thanks.

Who is it?

It's Frieda, Hans.

May I come in?

Yes, Frieda.

Now that I'm here,

I don't know how to say it...

how to make you understand.

If you knew how I feel, Hans...

to come to you about her.

Frieda, I'm so sorry.

I don't want to hurt you,

but ich kann es nicht helfen.

If you could be happy, Hans...

I would not care.

But I am happy, Frieda.

Never in my life was I so happy.

No, Hans. You think it only.

For you, she cannot bring happiness.

Frieda, you don't know.

But I do, Hans.

You think because she's so beautiful

and I'm just...

Don't, Hans. Please.

To me, you're a man.

But to her,

you're only something to laugh at.

The whole circus.

They make fun by you and her.

Let them laugh. The swine.

I love her. They can't hurt me.

But they hurt me.

Frieda, I have been a coward.

I should have come to you

in the beginning.

Please forgive me.

Yes, Hans, I forgive you.

It is only that you should be happy I want.

You won't worry now, will you?

No, I won't worry.

Nice. Very nice.

It's platinum.

Say, where do you think

that little polliwog is getting his money?

Listen at him. Getting so particular.

What do you care

where the money comes from?

How much it's worth?

We got $500 for the bracelet,

but this looks like thousands.

I think next time I'll take a fur coat.

Say, that little ape's got ideas about you.

- Jealous?

- Me?

I'd squish him like a bug.

That's his knock.

I'll get rid of him. Go quickly.

Come in.

What do you want?

It's about Hans.

Well? I'm listening.

It's behind his back.

Everybody's laughing

because he's in love with you.

Go on.

I know you just make fun...

but Hans, he does not know this.

If he finds out...

never again will he be happy.

What makes you think

that I am just making fun?

You're big. So beautiful...

And Hans is so little...

so cute.

Well, maybe I'm going to marry him.

If you marry,

it will be at you they laugh and stare.

That's good. Nothing like being different.

Cleopatra...

queen of the air, married to a dwarp.

- A dwarf.

- A dwarp!

Then it's not for Hans you care.

- It's the money.

- Money?

You little mind reader.

He has told you

of the fortune he has inherited.

Always he swear to me...

to tell no one

until after we leave the circus.

A fortune?

And fancy you knowing about it, too.

Well, I can't be angry at him for that.

No. You cannot do this.

You wait and see.

Please. You can't.

A fortune.

I bet the little ape's worth billions!

A fortune. Can you beat that?

A fortune. And I have him like that.

Shrewd little Hans.

He knew enough to keep his mouth shut.

I could marry him.

Yes, he would marry me.

Midgets are not strong.

He could get sick.

How?

It could be done.

Done. I know it.

Come on, my little precious.

Come on, let's drink.

Big, happy drink. Come on.

Quiet! Please be quiet.

Hey, Koo Koo,

give somebody else a chance.

All right!

All right, professor.

A waltz, please.

Show him up, volcano. Burn him up.

Our wedding night.

What a thrill.

Never before did I think

I should be so lucky.

Lucky?

I am the lucky one.

My little Hans.

My Cleo's happy.

- Happy.

- Happy?

I am so happy.

I even could kiss you,

you big, homely brute.

My little green-eyed monster.

My husband is jealous.

He loves me.

Come, my little lover.

Drink to the happiness of your loving wife.

Attention!

We'll make her one of us.

A loving cup.

We accept her, one of us

We accept her

One of us

They're going to make you one of them.

My, big luck.

We accept her!

One of us!

They're going to make you one of them,

my dear.

You dirty...

slimy freaks!

Get out of here!

You! Out!

Get out! You heard her! Get out!

You filth!

Make me one of you, will you?

Well, what are you going to do?

What are you, a man or a baby?

Please. You make me ashamed.

Ashamed. You?

Holy jumping Christmas!

What must I do?

Must I play games with you?

Must mama take you horsy-back ride?

That's it. Horsy-back ride.

Come, my little flyspeck.

Mama is going to take you

horsy-back ride.

- Come on.

- Giddyap.

Forget it, Hans.

She is sorry. I'm sorry.

Didn't I told you she was drunk?

Didn't I told you

we was only having a little fun?

Please.

I understand.

- Everything.

- No, you don't.

I tell you,

there's nothing between me and Cleo.

Be quiet.

Haven't you done

enough damage for one night?

Don't you realize

what I'm being accused of?

I ain't going to be blamed

for something I have not done.

I don't blame you, Cleo.

I don't blame Hercules.

Only me.

Myself.

Now you're talking.

- Talking like a man.

- You fool.

Always I should have known...

you would only laugh at me.

My sweet, I'd rather fall from the trapeze

and break my neck...

than hurt your feelings.

Do you understand now? It was only joke.

Our wedding...

a joke?

Now I know how funny it is.

Hans the midget.

Hans... the fool!

Tell the divorce court. They'll laugh.

Everywhere, they're laughing.

- You give him too much.

- No, I haven't.

I know what I am doing.

Come on, pick him up.

Doctor, what is it?

What caused it?

Poison.

A very bad case of ptomaine poisoning.

Doctor, did I do wrong, then?

Giving him mustard water?

No. Probably saved his life.

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