Freaky Eaters Page #2

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As a doctor, I understand that there's

always an element of risk in these tests.

I'm willing to take the risk.

I'm sorry, but the risk is too great.

Promise me you'll never leave me.

I promise.

Until the end of the world.

Until the end of the world.

Where the f*** have you been?

I heard you taking the Corvette again.

One of these days

you're gonna get yourself killed.

Do you think you can help her this way?

You even know how to have fun in your sleep.

Eh, party boy?

Come on, get up. It's hunting day.

They're for Arsehole Caravaggio.

You know what that son of a b*tch is like.

He may be the Lord's right hand, but I don't

think he knows much about Christian love.

I can't believe it.

You finished all the beer again.

Not only is there no beer left in this shitty

place, there is hardly anything left to eat.

Since we also have to go

on a corpse hunt for Dr Kildare,

- we might as well go shopping too.

- You've convinced me.

But don't call him Arsehole,

he'll get pissed off again.

Call him Caravaggio.

That's the way he likes it.

Caravaggio? F*** off.

"Arsehole" suits him better.

I'm curious to know how he's

getting on with The Annunciation.

How ignorant of you!

It's The Deposition.

You spend your days reading f***ing books,

and now you mix up life and death? F*** off.

Check the jeep.

Brakes, tyres, everything.

Hey, who do you think you are?

Lieutenant Columbo?

Listen, don't be an arsehole.

You and this pig spend all day f***ing around,

while we work our arses off out there.

It would take me less than three seconds

to cut off your dick

and make myself a belt like yours.

What are you f***ing laughing at?

See to that f***ing jeep.

That one...

One of these days, I'm gonna...

This belt is a tribute to my Indian blood.

My mother was descended

from a famous tribe.

And everyone knows

that my mother was, above all... a slut.

You sure know how to

endear yourself to people, eh?

They think they're warriors,

but they're just arseholes.

They don't even have the guts

to leave this place.

It's easy to shoot a puppet.

I'd love to see them out there.

Don't be so hard on them.

They're only trying to kill time.

You're right. Although it's obvious now

that time is trying to kill us.

Listen, Mengele,

we're going to get you those arseholes,

but you could at least cook us something

that doesn't taste of sh*t. Thanks.

Break a zombie's leg!

Are you off on holiday, guys?

I bet you've got a date with a nice survivor.

Nope, only dead flesh.

Only dead flesh.

Watch your back while we're away, mind you.

Don't worry,

there are plenty of bullets in my baby.

Buck up!

The beauty of life is that

you never know when it will end!

What's up? You homesick?

Do me a favour.

The slaughterhouse needs a good clean.

It's my turn to do it

but, as you can see, I'm on the road.

Send those two d*ckheads over.

Just think up some excuse.

Get them to clean up all that sh*t.

I don't know if I can do that.

I don't want any trouble, you know?

Have I convinced you?

Go in peace. I'll see to it

that those two wallow in the sh*t.

Slim-Jim! D*ckhead! Come here, you f***ers!

I'm sorry.

Every time, I feel swamped by bullshit.

We should just kill them and that's all.

Bang, bang! That would be fun.

Not risk our necks every day

to catch some of them alive.

We're a survivor salvage team,

not undertakers.

Let's give him another chance.

Maybe he really can find an antidote.

- Maybe this way, Alexis...

- For God's sake, Alen! Alexis is dead.

F***! She hasn't got flu, she's dead!

All this is insane.

You're wrong.

Her heart is still beating.

She's been contaminated -

and I don't know how or why...

- but she is a healthy carrier of the virus.

- Healthy? Don't you realise she's...

There's no getting through to you.

Let's get moving

and find some heads to blow up.

Don't forget, Gyno wants them alive.

Billions of people have died. It won't make

any difference if I kill a few more, will it?

Besides, that arsehole kills

a lot more of them than we do.

I don't feel like arguing.

Let's change the subject, OK?

Fine, let's change the subject.

What do you think we'll get from Caravaggio

in return for what we're bringing him?

Today, whatever we want.

I've got a real gem -

the kind you only find once in a lifetime.

I'm not sure I want to know what it is.

Let's try and get out of this city

without attracting any attention.

Smile, I'm taking you to the countryside.

Lucky me.

I'm a city boy, not a f***ing farmer.

I hope that maniac still has some

of that booze of his left. I'm mad about it.

My God! That stuff stinks of sh*t, you can smell

it a mile away. God knows what he puts in it.

Ah, what do you know about it?

Stop. F***! Stop!

Sh*t. What's the matter with you?

How cruel Mother Nature is.

I'm serious.

She's pitiless.

Have you gone off your head?

Look over there.

I can't allow an angel such as this

to be dissected by that butcher.

So what's your solution?

A real Samaritan.

Yes, I'm the romantic type, after all.

What the f*** do you want?

Good morning to you, Arse...

Caravaggio.

We've got something really special for you.

Yes, pieces of dead people -

bowels, titbits...

Just shut up.

Take a seat, please.

No thanks, Caravaggio.

We're in a hurry.

We want food and beer -

a lot of beer!

Just a moment.

Calm down, boy.

Nowadays,

being in a hurry makes no sense.

Stop and listen to the silence God gave us!

It's a blessing, not a condemnation.

Cogito ergo sum!

Quid pro de...

Pro quid, quid pro...

Quid pro...

Do tu des!

Come on, give it up!

That's the way I like you, old man!

I can't believe it! I've been waiting

for this moment for months!

It's not that bad.

No.

We're impressed. Seriously.

Very impressed.

But now we have to go.

You know, the food...

Eh? What?

Oh, yes.

Go in and take what you want.

Bye.

See you.

- If I were you I wouldn't do that.

- What are you trying to tell me?

I'm not saying it's corpse flesh, but I can't

picture Caravaggio doing any hunting.

F***, that guy has some sick sh*t

going through his mind.

He's no worse than our

son-of-a-b*tch doctor.

At least Caravaggio doesn't harm anyone.

And, what's more, thanks to him

we can eat and drown ourselves in beer.

Are you enjoying the show, guys?

- How long till we get there?

- Sector F is miles away. You know that.

- Why are you being such pain in the arse?

- I need a piss.

Why don't you just say,

"Alen, can you stop the car, please?"

Alen, can you stop the f***ing car, please?

I need a piss.

Don't go too far.

I can't do it if somebody is watching.

Our primary-school teacher

made us go with the toilet door open

while she stood watching.

When I shot that fatso dead

I should have pissed on her head.

F*** you!

You took your time.

I've got a big one, you know?

It takes me a while to drain it.

You're bloodstained.

You don't say.

Alexis, Alexis.

You are the key to everything.

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