Free Guy Page #11

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Yeah.

GUY:
Hi, Randy. Milton.

MILLIE:
Hmm.

GUY:
I was wondering when I’d see you again.

(MILLIE CHUCKLES)

MILLIE:
Yeah, life has been pretty crazy lately.

You should see it in here.

We’re talkin’ free bubble gum ice cream for life.

Wow. (CHUCKLES)

GUY:
Hey, guys.

Look, Guy…

Wow, this is harder than I thought.

Then let me do it for you.

Guy… you are dreamy.

(CHUCKLES)

Your taste in blue shirts and five-octave musical superstars… it’s deeply, deeply attractive to me.

But I can’t keep spending all my time with you.

I created this world, but I can’t live my life in it.

See? Was that so hard?

So, what are you gonna do?

Anything I want. Thanks to you.

I’m not stuck in a loop anymore.

Neither are you.

I love you, Millie.

Maybe that is my programming talking, but guess what?

Someone wrote that program.

I’m just a love letter to you.

Somewhere out there is the author.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

(GASPS)

(GASPS)

(TYPING)

You brought him to life. You brought him to life.

And he was alive because he met the one person he’d been waiting for his whole life.

And I had to make it realistic, so… I based it off of… you.

The woman of his dreams… she was the same as mine.

So she liked bubble gum ice cream and swing sets… and she had this very cute but oddly specific habit… of always humming this classic Mariah Carey track.

Like, all the time, she would… repeat.

Finally!

Keys!

What are you…

(PEGASUS WHINNIES)

You okay, little guy Guy?

You seem adjective.

I’m great. I’m great. You could put me down, by the way.

Thank you. That was nice.

No, I’m great. You’re great, Dude.

I just miss my best friend.

(DUDE SIGHS)

We used to do the same walk together every day.

Except he wore a shirt. And could complete a full sentence.

I can bench press a sentence.

(LAUGHS) Yeah, that’s totally not the same thing at all.

(LAUGHS LOUDLY) Harder laughter!

Oh…

Guy?

Buddy!

No!

Oh, my God! Guy!

Buddy! I thought I’d lost you!

You didn’t!

One minute, I’m running on a crazy bridge to nowhere… thinkin’ my sweet mundane life is over.

The next minute, I’m like in some type of flyin’… and some like fairy dust, pixie dust… and then I plopped down into this slice of heaven.

Man, I love it here.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

In fact, a couple of days ago, I rode a centaur.

Now, it might sound weird…

I took a piggyback ride on a half-dude and a half-horse…

whatever a centaur is, I did it.

I rode a dude, too!

Friendly gesture!

So friendly!

Come on, bring it in!

Are we gonna hug?

I’m coming for you!

No, you’re not. I’m coming for you.

Yes, I am!

You come here!

I’m coming to you!

I’m reeling you in. I’m reeling you in.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Buddy, I missed you!

Hey, so where’s the bank?

There is no bank.

So what do we do?

Whatever we want.

(GUY CHUCKLES)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(FANTASY BY MARIAH CAREY PLAYING)

GUY:
Hey, guys.

CENTAUR:
Hey, Guy.

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