Free Guy Page #9

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What if we can change it?

Millie! How many times a day are the banks robbed in your world?

Hardly ever, Guy.

(NPCS EXCLAIMING)

GUY:
What about corpses, Millie?

What?

GUY:
You see a lot of those?

How many an hour?

None per hour, Guy.

GUY:
What about gun violence?

See a lot of gun violence in your world?

Actually, that’s a big problem, Guy. (CHUCKLES) It’s a massive problem.

I didn’t see that coming.

It’s true. It really sucks.

The point is, we don’t have to be spectators to our own lives.

We can be whatever we want.

We can’t all be you, Guy.

That’s not true.

What’s inside of me is inside of you, too.

NPCS:
What?

GUY:
It’s inside of each and every one of you. You’re growing.

I need more in my life than drip coffee. I want to make…

A cappuccino.

A goddamn difference in the world.

Much, much better.

And a green tea boba.

Holy sh*t!

That’s right!

(NPCS CHEERING)

You go, girl.

Oh, my God, you’re amazing!

If I could just make it out past that water… there’s a world out there where we can be free.

Where we get to decide who we wanna be.

Where we can matter. But we have to fight for it.

We have to fight together.

NPCS:
Yeah!

You guys have always done what’s expected of you.

But that sh*t ends today.

Yeah!

I don’t even know what’s happening right now!

But I love it!

(NPCS CHEERING)

BUDDY:
I love it!

(CHEERING CONTINUES)

I love it!

I love it, too! Come on, guys, get in here!

Huddle up! Here’s what we’re gonna do! Everyone in!

(INDISTINCT EXCITED CHATTERING)

ROBBER:
Everybody get down on the ground!

(FIRING)

Hello?

Where the hell is everybody?

Hello?

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

MAN:
Where are all the NPCs?

LAZARBEAM:
Look, I’ve been playing Free City for, like, three years now.

I’ve never seen anything like this.

Up until recently, I don’t even know if I’d have noticed a few NPCs going missing.

And I don’t know if this is just some whack Reddit theory… but some people are saying that Blue Shirt Guy isn’t even a player.

That he’s actual AI.

AI?

Actual AI. You know, alive.

It’s why Blue Shirt Guy is trending everywhere.

Antwan, if you’re watching this, please fix the game.

And most of all, bring back Blue Shirt.

ANTWAN:
Oh, my God. My God!

JONATHAN:
Antwan, you should see this.

REVENJAMIN:
And you, you tried to steal it from me with that Molotov chick.

GUY:
Her name’s Millie.

REVENJAMIN:
Who?

GUY:
Millie.

ANTWAN:
Got her. Got her! Got you! Got you!

Mouser! Put him up on the screen. Now. Put him up.

That’s it. Come on, quicker.

Yes, there he is.

He’s joyriding around Free City with some player called Molotovgirl.

AKA Millie Rusk.

Millie Rusk? Isn’t that Keys’ old partner?

ANTWAN:
Yeah.

Also the one who’s trying to hit me with this bogus lawsuit… ’cause she’s desperate for a piece of Soonami Kwan.

Boot Molotovgirl now.

I’m trying. I’m trying as hard as I can, but her account’s spoofed.

This woman is exceptional.

Then kill her in the game.

“What?” Yes, I said that. Kill her.

Throw everything at them, all right? Five badges, G.

Yeah, just one problem.

We don’t have anything.

Whatchu talking about, Willis?

We don’t have any defenses.

We don’t have police, military, no nothing.

It’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.

It’s like every NPC went on strike.

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

Got a tall, half-caf, double foam oat milk, matcha latte with cinnamon!

That’s me.

Hey.

Thank you.

You’re welcome.

OFFICER JOHNNY:
Cheers.

(ENGINE REVVING)

(NPCS CHEERING)

Go get ’em, Guy!

It’s like a digital walkout.

No, it’s not.

They’re doing this on purpose, it’s part of their plan.

You know what we’re gonna do? We’re gonna kill them in the game.

Turn off respawn, kill them dead, now.

But that means any players who die will be done for good.

They’ll freak out.

(WHISPERING) I don’t care.

Sir? Sir, just to be clear, are you telling me that it’s go time?

Are you looking for some sort of banter thing ’cause you think we’re friends now…

and we’re in some sort of gang together?

Yes. Yes, that’s exactly what I’m looking for.

Cool, we’re a team.

We should come up with a catchphrase, okay?

All right.

On three. One, two, three…

One, two, three…

(SHOUTING) Get back to work!

Someone find me Keys!

(ENGINE REVVING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(GUY WHOOPS)

All right, people, you heard him. It’s go time!

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC RISING)

Okay, that’s not good.

(RUMBLING)

He knows where we’re going.

(SHATTERING)

MOUSER:
All right, I got him. I got him. Don’t worry.

Want some four wheels to the face?

Take that. Boom!

(GRUNTS)

(CRASHING)

Rabbit’s coming for you. Apex predator.

GUY:
Whoa!

(CARS CRASHING)

Here we go. Y’all watching this?

I’m about to end this fool.

(ENGINE REVVING)

(RUMBLING)

(BREATHING HEAVILY) Come on, come on, come on.

Keys, if you’re there, a little help, please.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

(RUMBLING)

(TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING)

(ENGINE RACING)

(GUY GRUNTS)

(SHOUTS) God! Okay, who did that? Who is doing that?

Don’t play with me! Seriously! I’m under way too much pressure!

(RUMBLING, CRASHING)

Come on!

Go, go, go!

(SIGHS)

I just checked with security. Keys hasn’t left the building.

Oh, sounds like you’ve done everything possible.

Time to give up? You wanna give up?

No, I’m sensing you want me to keep looking.

Go.

I’ll be back.

I have no idea where these fools are running to.

I do. Southern shore. Hitman’s Beach.

MOUSER:
Well, that’s stupid. There’s nothing out there but water.

Game physics won’t even let you get past the shoreline.

Unless there is something out there.

Antwan, is there something there?

Screw it. Art nerds.

Time for Dude.

We’re still working on him.

I worked on him myself. He’s perfect.

Drop in Dude now.

Just do it. He’s got, like, half a brain… he’s barely written, but sure, start the upload.

GUY:
What are we supposed to do now?

MILLIE:
Now Keys finds us a bridge.

ANTWAN:
Come to collect those knives you stabbed in my back, bro?

You’ve been helping Millie Rusk this whole time.

She’s looking for your build.

What build, Antwan?

It’s not like you used our code anyway, right?

And if you didn’t use our code… then how can our original build be in the game, right?

Or am I missing something?

Leave us.

Okay, Keys, let’s have a real talk.

If I’d put out your dumb game, it would have bombed.

Antwan, you don’t know it would’ve failed.

Yeah, I do know.

I looked at the numbers, the tracking, the focus groups.

Has it ever occurred to you that some things matter more than numbers?

What matters more than numbers? Money?

Yo, news flash, bro, money is still numbers.

Nothing matters more than numbers!

You should be thanking me!

I should be thanking you?

What about the profits that you got from our work?

You chose your side, little Padawan.

And now, it’s time for you to take your place next to the Emperor.

You get me, bro?

Yeah, I get you… bro. (CHUCKLES)

Which leads me to this.

(ELECTRICAL WHIRRING)

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