Free Samples

[Say Hi's Shake

Her Shoulders" plays]

# My love

# The whole world's gonna end

# But when you shake your

shoulders and squint your eyes #

# The band plays on in

spite of everything #

Can't put two

letters in one box.

I think you can do that,

if it fits if you can

get them all in.

Yeah.

Man I hate this song.

I hated the last 7 songs.

Yes, but did you

hear what I said?

Jillian, can I have some money

for the jukebox?

Play something good Wally!

What's that song that

goesit's starts out.

Uh, I don't know.

I'll find it.

Yes, you do that.

Okay, what's this one?

Oh, hey, uh, okay okay.

Watch it, watch it.

Let's sit back down.

Are you drunk?

A woman just left the bar that I

used to go to law school with.

Are you a Lawyer?

She dropped out, but um

are you a painter this week?

No, I'm not a painter

this week.

That's good then.

It's Paula, her name is Paula.

C'mon there's gotta.

You know, I don't think that

I've seen Paula

in like a, uh, 6 months.

Oh, Jesus, what day is today?

The 19th.

You, remind me to call

Danny tomorrow.

And he doesn't want me to

make a big deal about it,

but you know, he's going to get

all pissy if I forget.

Who's that, who's Danny?

Someone.

Danny.

Do you know

what's really f***ed up?

What?

What, what?

Wait what's really f***ed up?

Oh I wish somebody would

ask me that.

I have a word or two

to say about that.

Okay, uh, Jillian, what is,

what's really f***ed up

in a word or two?

Everything.

I'm not a complete flake,

you know.

If I said I'd be there, then

that's what I'm going to do.

Jilly, hunny,

I need you to wake up.

Nancy.

Who let you in?

What?

I live here.

You're at my place.

What time is it?

It's early, I'm sorry.

What- That's the hat

that Tex was wearing

when we met him last night.

Tex as in Texas?

Is he here right now?

Look, I need to ask

you a huge favor.

You wouldn't wear

any of my pajamas.

Are those gophers?

No they're

little bunny rabbits.

Nice, do you have

any pajamas for grown-ups?

That was funny last night

and it's still

funny this morning. But,

I really do need your help.

You'll be my hero.

No, okay, no, no, no.

No, Jillian. Jillian, we have

to leave right now.

Great!

I cannot wear

this shirt all day.

Look, I know, but you have to.

I don't understand how you

fit your breasts into this.

I don't know.

I like my clothes tight.

It's like wearing a corset.

Here.

No. No way.

I don't have the sort

of head made for a visor.

Please. This is a deal breaker.

Just drop it.

Okay, fine.

But, we have

to leave right now.

Oh, it's probably from Wally.

I made him sleep on the couch.

"Hey Nancy. I'm sorry but

I peed on your couch.

I'm leaving you

twenty dollars. Wally."

Ugh, We have to go.

[ beeping ]

You know, I don't understand

why he left you $20.

I don't know Is that for

you to get a new couch

or get the cushions cleaned?

Is that he didn't even

attempt to clean it up,

I mean, spray something on it

or at least try to mop it

up a little bit.

I would be mortified,

I don't think I'd ever

be able to look you

in the face again.

He's probably trying to

remember where his $20 went.

If I peed on your couch,

I would pay someone to come in

a steal all your furniture.

I'd rather burn down your

whole apartment building,

than tell you.

Hey Nancy, I peed on

your couch last night.

Get inside the truck!

Just kidding.

It's so fun. You're gonna

have a great time.

Yay! So fun!

Ok, anyone who wants

a sample can have one

but they can't have two.

Even if they offer

to pay for it.

I know. They're

testing this product.

Okay, try and get people

to fill out these survey cards

but don't be

obnoxious about it...

Okay, um, this one is vanilla,

this is chocolate.

They either get one

or the other. That's it.

Where are the cups. Oh.

Okay, 12345.

That's all they get.

Okay, now I've gotta go.

Okay, stay here

one second. I'm gonna run.

I'm gonna get coffee.

Be right back.

No, no, no, no, no!

You can't!

I'm already late.

Nancy, I've never

hated anyone more

than I hate you right now.

What? Oh gosh. If you leave

here, you're going to find

my dead body hanging

from a rope.

Ok. The intervention was

supposed to be next week

but my grandfather is

having a bypass on Tuesday.

Does your grandfather

really need to be there?

Well yeah. He's the only

person in my family

I don't think your

brother drinks that much.

That's because you're a

borderline alchy yourself.

Now I've really gotta go.

I love you for this.

Ok, I should be back

no later than noon.

Maybe one?

Really try for noon.

Ok, be nice to the people.

They mean you no harm.

And step outside

if you need to smoke.

Oh and go to the front there's a

little switch that plays music.

Try and play it once an hour.

Oh, um, thank you sweetie.

I owe you a big one

and don't forget to call Danny.

Ok, I love you. Bye!

Damnit.

Great.

Hi.

Hello.

You're giving out

free samples today only?

Yes.

A cup of either ice cream

or an ice cream like substance

in either chocolate or vanilla.

Who's Mike?

I don't know.

But I suspect he dreams

of ice cream

or ice cream like substance.

How do you not know who

you're working for?

This just happens

to be my first

and my last day working here.

Oh, what happened?

Big drama?

Does this look like an

information booth?

No. How lonely are you that you

have to wander the streets

on a Thursday morning asking a

bunch of senseless questions

to the first person you meet

who's trapped in a truck.

Look, I'm just curious.

Chocolate or vanilla?

Which one do you like?

How do you work here and

not try both your flavors?

You're doing it again.

What do people usually get?

Strawberry.

That wasn't even an option.

Your two flavors are only

chocolate or vanilla.

Oh, that's a joke.

Ok, I think I'll take

the choc-str-ch-chocolate.

Did it take a long time

to learn ow-

Oh, thank you.

Hey.

Uh, Chocolate or vanilla?

Chocolate.

You know, you're like

the first person around here

who hasn't remarked on us

being identical twins.

Well, I was going to but to be

honest,

I'm hung-over and

I just wasn't entirely sure

if I was seeing

two people or not.

You're twins.

Thanks for the ice cream.

# 'Cause I'm broke,

and that aint no joke. #

# A quarter's what I need

but I'll take a dime. #

# Excuse me people!

No!

Yes!

No! Yeahyeah.

I'm talking to you.

Me?

What? Uh, you and that bongo

have got to go.

My head cannot take it.

$5 I will give this to you

if you go away. Where?

You don't have to leave

the state or anything.

Just go somewhere I can't

hear you, ok? Okay.

Cool.

Um, hey, hey!

Uh, wait a minute.

I'm not giving back this money.

Oh no, I don't want

the money back.

Do you want to make another $5?

What do I have to do?

I want you to go and

buy me the largest

cup of coffee that they have

in Southern California.

Ok?

Ok. Great!

And, uh, I need one

real sugar. Say it.

Real sugar.

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