Freezer

Oh, sh*t.

Son of a b*tch.

Oh. Oh.

Oh.

Happy f***ing birthday.

Tell me you're the good guys.

What the hell is going on here?

Did my girlfriend put you up to this?

Am I being punked? Huh?

Tu hable ingls?

Cmo se dice,

"I'm freezing my balls, so I

want to get the f*** out of here"?

Uh, do you speak English?

English? Do you? Do you speak English?

Anybody?

Eh?

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

Oh! Oh.

Yeah.

Okay, I can see that you...

you got a problem with me,

so why don't we... find an interpreter

and we'll just... we'll

just take it outside?

- Okay? Mm -hmm.

Help! Help! This is a mistake.

- Oh!

- Bravo.

Help! Somebody help me!

Help! Help!

I don't know what this is

about, but you got the wrong guy.

Ask the manager. Call the czar.

Find a... a comrade who speaks English.

People know I'm here. My girlfriend's

waiting at our table right now.

My shrimp-f***ing-scampi

is getting cold.

I'm supposed to be blowing out

the candles. It's my birthday.

Don't you have any compassion?

Money.

- Money?

- Money.

Money.

- Okay.

- Okay.

My wallet.

You took my goddamn wallet.

There was 400 in cash in there.

You got my credit cards.

Good luck with those.

How... how about ATM?

Huh? We take a drive.

We go to the ATM... A-T-M.

I can...

I can get you more... easy, "Conan. "

So? Let's go.

What... what do you want?

Passwords? My Social?

You want to steal my

identity? You can have it.

Robert "Sh*t Luck" Saunders.

Have a merry f***ing life.

Well, sounds like you two

d*ldos are working this out.

You can't rush a good

idea, especially if it's...

Nice to meet you.

Let me out of here!

Sh*t.

You're a sh*t magnet. Always have been.

Hello?

- Sam?

- What?

Who is this? Is Sam there?

Wrong number. Good bye.

Don't hang up. Stop. You need me.

Why do I need you?

'Cause anyone holding this phone is

in a shitload of trouble. Am I right?

- Maybe.

- Now who are you?

I'm trapped in a freezer,

Cafe Volga, Brighton

Beach Boulevard, Brooklyn.

I found a phone here lying on the floor.

- Are you alone?

- Yeah.

I'm locked in here.

- Who are you?

- Who are you?

NYPD.

You're the police?

I'm starting a trace.

You don't need a trace.

Get someone over here now.

I... I... I'm locked in

a f***ing meat locker.

Give me your full name.

Robert James Saunders.

And your Social?

Yeah, right. What kind of scam is this?

Give me the last four digits.

Six-four-three-nine.

- Are you there?

- I'm here.

Are you sure you're a cop?

Detective Al Dorian,

Narcotics, NYPD.

Yeah, well, Detective,

you know, it's... it's

37 degrees in here,

so I hate to complain, but if

you can get here a little quicker,

I'd really appreciate it.

I'm being held captive by two goons.

What do they want?

Money. They keep asking me questions,

but f*** if I can understand.

They... they took my wallet.

This whole thing is insane.

How did you end up there?

It's my birthday, if you can believe it.

I was having dinner at Cafe

Volga with my girlfriend.

I hear they have a good steak.

Yeah, well, here's a hot tip for

you... stay away from the bathroom.

I was taking a leak and one of

these clowns sucker-punches me.

I saw stars and woke up here.

Who was your date at Volga?

Christina Welch,

28, red hair, hot as hell,

sitting at a deuce by

the bar. Can't miss her.

Christina. I'll have someone speak

with her if she's still there.

She'll know exactly how

long you've been missing.

The name Sam Gurov mean anything to you?

- No.

- You sure?

Yeah, I'm sure. Why?

As of now, he is missing

and you're holding his phone.

Can you describe the

two men holding you?

Yeah, one's about 5'11",

spongy hair, kind of looks

like James Caan on a bad day,

good suit, bad cigars.

The other one's a dead ringer

for Conan the Barbarian.

He's got a star tattoo

on the back of his neck.

They're Russian, I think.

You have an eye for detail, Bobby.

Robert, not Bobby.

What do you do for a living?

- A mechanic.

- Right.

You don't believe me?

You blame me? Who'd trust a mechanic?

All right, all right. But I

happen to be one of the good ones.

A mechanic, huh?

Pick that up in a

machine shop at Rikers?

Robert James Saunders,

two years for assault.

That you, Bobby?

Long time ago.

Is this another mistake?

He swung first.

That's what they all say.

So my mother said. It was my stepfather.

Just so you know, Bobby,

Sam Gurov was undercover, off the grid.

Now if SWATs break through that door,

there's gonna be questions about Sam.

They need fast answers.

If you bullshit or withhold in any way,

you'll wish to Christ

they left you in your box.

Hold on.

You may be in a freezer,

pal, but not in Cafe Volga.

- What?

- You're not in Cafe Volga.

I'm in there now. I've been

through the whole place,

including the freezer.

Robert, what's going on?

Robert.

Robert, are you there?

You know, I wasn't

quite done with my call.

You two need a room? You

know, I'm starting to sense

some obvious sexual

tension between you two,

and I like it.

No, really, you make a nice couple.

You should be together.

You know what you should do?

Move to Woodstock,

adopt a nice little Congolese baby

and be happy.

Right? What's more important than love?

Need a bank?

Nyet.

I apologize for their lack of manners.

- Oh.

- I don't have much time tonight.

And neither do you in this cold.

Finally someone who can

speak English around here.

Are you shy around women?

Only women as ugly as these two.

You've been here about 30 minutes.

Feels like 30 days.

Well, Robert Saunders,

at this temperature,

most men last between

three and four hours,

just so you know.

If you know who I am, then

you know this is a mistake.

I... I... I was having

dinner at Cafe Volga.

Please. Perhaps I know

more than you think.

Then you don't need me.

It's not that easy.

We still have to talk.

Fine, then let's step outside

for a nice cup of hot cocoa.

The money.

You took my money.

Why does it have to be like this?

Because these two dumbasses

picked the wrong guy.

I'm afraid we are stuck

in here for a while longer.

All right, for you, I'll

stay just for a little bit,

because I'm supposed to

meet some friends downtown.

So, maybe give me your number

and, you know, we can

hook up, have some borscht.

- You must be getting cold.

- You think?

Tell me where the money is.

I spent it.

Oh, for Chrissake,

- I'm a mechanic.

- I don't believe you.

Well, neither did that cop

I was just on the phone with,

but he traced the call anyway.

They're gonna be here any minute.

We don't believe the trace worked.

- We'll see.

- I don't hear any sirens.

They're sneaky that way.

Don't f*** with us, Robert.

They're not coming.

You know it. I know it.

If you don't give us the money,

you will freeze to death.

Honey, I've been to a

Giants-Bills game in December.

This is nothing.

Your shivering will increase.

You'll also get confused

and have trouble concentrating.

It may get so bad that

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