French Kiss

Welcome to Air Canada

nonstop service,

Toronto to Paris.

Our flying time today

is an estimated

Please check that your

seat belt is fastened

and that your chair back

is in the upright position.

We'll be taking off shortly.

Kate?

Yes?

Are you prepared to have

a pleasant flight?

Yes.

Tell me, Kate, what

are you thinking about?

Twisted steel.

Ball of fire.

A naked baby screaming

for his mother.

Kate, what happened

to your little stone cottage?

Picture it now.

OK.

Oh, my god!

And don't forget

your takeoff mantra.

What are the words you chant

softly in your head?

We're going down!

We're going down!

Kate...

OK.

OK.

I Love Paris In the springtime

I Love...

Hello? Hello?

I really think you gave me

the wrong mantra.

I don't love Paris,

I don't like the French,

and I don't want

to go on this trip.

Oh... god, no!

Kate, you can do this.

I can't do this!

I don't belong

on this airplane!

Let me out of here!

I don't want to die!

Kate, your full refund.

Thank you.

You can get the money back

on my ticket.

Money's not the issue, Kate.

I wanted you to come

with me to exper... What?

Is that them?

I don't want to see

my family tonight.

You never do.

Have you noticed how,

since we're engaged,

they don't knock anymore?

They love you.

My family gives me

an unsigned birthday card.

Kate, come with me.

I'll give you

a shot of Stoli,

and we'll be there

before you know it.

How can you not want

to go to Paris?

You're a history teacher.

Shame on you.

Charlie, the French,

you know they hate us.

They smoke.

They have a whole relationship

to dairy products, which

I don't understand.

Kate, something's wrong

with the cable!

Is the box set on three?

A week in Paris with

the man you love?

Suture demonstrations.

Midnight strolls?

Medicare meetings.

The Eiffel Tower.

The Eiffel Tower...

I'd love to see

the Eiffel Tower.

OK, Then.

Great.

I'm not supposed

to leave the country

until my immigration interview.

I'm taking that.

No, no. No, you're not.

Make something up.

Tell them your cousin Bridget

fell in the Seine.

They'll find out

I have no cousin Bridget

and deport me.

Like the one time

I smoked pot...

I didn't want to,

I had a horrible time,

and Ronny Templeton's

little brother

called the police,

and we got arrested.

The one time I ever

did anything illegal.

Bure drops it in...

They put cheese on both pizzas.

Herb, this is you,

you didn't check.

Take it back.

You know Kate hates cheese.

I'll pick it off.

Here's a list of stuff I want.

Forget it. Kate's not going.

I'm not going. Why not?

Is it the French thing?

No, it's the flying thing.

It's not the French thing

or the flying thing.

I'm not supposed to travel

until my Canadian

citizenship clears.

Hon, we got to move it.

Oh, Kate, I almost forgot,

the Merediths

have put their house

on the market.

Why are we looking at

a house we can't afford?

Charlie, there's something

I have to tell you.

Since I turned 21,

I've been putting money

aside every week

into a savings account,

which I then rolled into

high-yield term deposits

with interest rates

close to 14 %.

What are you talking about?

I've made us a nest egg.

How many eggs?

Why didn't you

tell me this before?

I wanted it to be a surprise.

It's a surprise.

It's a big surprise.

So, with a little help

from your parents,

we could probably afford this.

My whole life is passing

before my eyes,

and we don't even

have children yet.

Hey.

Hey.

Come to Paris with me.

Hi. Right on time.

Saved me from the news.

Bonsoir, chrie.

Hey. Hi, how's it going?

Good. It's just one

conference after another,

but this city,

it's amazing, Kate.

It's so beautiful,

it just casts a spell.

How was dinner?

They used this sauce,

it had a taste

I never experienced.

C'tait incroyable!

The sauces have

to be incroyables

to cover up the horse meat.

I saw this segment on

You keep watching

all those shows,

you'll never leave the house.

Hey!

Hey. I can't talk.

I'm with the guys

at this hip club.

I can't hear you.

Sweetie pie, we need to

talk about the house.

I promise you, tomorrow.

I got to go, hon.

Love you. Bye.

I talked to the broker

and told her we are ready

to make an offer

as soon as I talk to Charlie.

You guys are crazy.

I'm never buying a house

or anything else

worth anything.

Why not?

Because you think you

own something like that,

when, really, it

winds up owning you.

It becomes your life,

and then one night,

someone leaves their cigarette,

and it all burns.

Honey, hello?

Kate? Kate?

Yeah, it's me, Charlie.

Are you all right?

Is something wrong?

No... Yeah...

Something's happened.

What? What's wrong?

Oh, Kate... Kate, I'm just...

I'm just so happy, you know?

I'm just so happy

and so...

F***ed up.

I f***ed up, definitely.

But it's destiny, Kate.

That's what it is.

What are you saying?

What's destiny?

Destiny... Oh, Kate.

Well, I met this woman,

this apparition, this goddesse.

Goddesse?

It's French for "goddess,"

and so is she. She's French.

I've never, ever felt

this way before.

I feel I could do anything.

I could rule the world,

climb the highest mountain.

I could walk into

a men's room and pee,

even with some big guy

waiting behind me.

What? What are you saying?

Charlie, are you...

Kate, I'm not coming back.

I'm in love... Kate.

Love, like in a sonnet

Or like a...

Like love.

I'm sorry, Kate.

I'm so sorry.

Charlie?

Welcome to Air Canada

nonstop service,

Toronto to Paris.

Our flying time today

is an estimated

Please make sure that

your seat belt is fastened

and your chair back

is in the upright position.

We'll be taking off shortly.

We hope you have

a pleasant flight.

I Hate Paris In the springtime

I Hate Paris In the fall

I Hate Paris

In The Summer When it sizzles

I Hate Paris

In The Winter When it drizzles

I Hate Paris

Oh, Why, Oh, Why

Do I hate Paris?

Because My Love Is there

With His Slut girlfriend

This is my first time flying.

I'm just kind of nervous.

First time.

Do you speak any English?

Didn't your mother

ever teach you about staring?

What do you think,

the plane will crash

and we are on the ground

in a thousand pieces dead?

I promise you, if it happens,

you won't feel a thing.

You're French, aren't you?

Luc Teyssier.

How have you got around

your whole life?

Or do you just stay

in your house

with the doors locked?

I get around

as nature intended,

What was that?

What did she say?

That sounded serious.

The pilot says there is

a crack in the engine,

but he take off anyway.

Ladies and gentlemen,

please remember that

the use of cellular phones

and other electronic devices

is forbidden during takeoff.

I don't know

what they taught you in France,

but rude and interesting

are not the same thing.

Oh! God!

We hope you enjoy the flight.

OK, OK, OK...

OK, OK...

Folks, we're third in line

for takeoff,

so just relax.

We should be in the air

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