Friends with Money

So the corrugated metal

not only reflects the beauty...

...of the common,

off-the-shelf material...

...but also emphasizes

the invisible line...

...between the old

and new construction.

-Wait. There will be a line?

-It's invisible.

-Just let him finish.

-Oh, sorry.

Then the windows, here,

are large enough from the deck...

...you'll see the ocean

from your master bedroom.

-No way. Really? Oh, God, that's great.

-Look, honey, it's us.

Going this high will, of course, require

some special permits from the city.

-Why?

-Well, because the neighbors...

...could possibly get upset.

Well, I think we can live with that.

We want it.

We want it.

-Hey, you want some coffee?

-Sure.

-Yeah.

-Okay. Okay.

These shoes cost $95?

I just-- I don't understand why

she has to have these kind of shoes.

Don't know what it is.

Her feet are growing.

Exactly. That's why we should be

buying her regular $20 crap...

...because she's gonna

outgrow them in two weeks.

It's just the opposite.

When their feet are growing

you want the best support possible.

How do you know this,

this shoe theory?

It's just known.

Come on, sweetie,

let's go get your pajamas on.

Go to sleep. Good night.

I know it's early but good night.

Does this shirt look weird

with these pants?

The sitter's coming.

-Like it's too thick?

-Who cares?

It feels bulky.

-Why don't you answer me?

-It's fine.

Because I could put on the new

striped one. That tucks in better.

-What?

-You're pathetic.

-I'm putting on the new striped one.

-Good choice.

This kid played at my house all day,

and his parents don't know who I am.

-How do you know?

-I see them at school and they smile.

They don't say anything

like "thank you."

-That's insane.

-It is.

I fed him two meals...

...kissed his boo-boos,

cleaned his pee.

You think his mother

should acknowledge me.

-That's just rude.

-Yes.

I'd wanna know everything

my kid was doing.

Maybe the nanny didn't tell

she took him to your house.

-Parents know where kids go.

-Where's yours?

Sitting in front of Dragon Ball Z

where I left him.

I think it's too violent.

-You think SpongeBob is too violent.

-I never said it was.

-I said it was ugly.

-I'm ugly.

-You know, I don't get SpongeBob.

-Oh, come on.

-Christine.

-No, I don't.

What is--? How do you not get it?

Why would I say I don't if I do?

Okay.

Hey, you guys, listen. Franny and I

bought a table at an ALS fundraiser.

-Yeah.

-Will you guys come?

-No.

-No?

-It's at that the Casa del Mar.

-What is ALS?

It's Lou Gehrig's disease.

It's really horrible.

-I mean, it's awful.

-Okay. We'll come.

My stockbroker's wife is doing it.

It will be kind of-- It will be fun.

That reminds me, did you guys

find a place to donate money?

Because I thought

of a couple of ideas.

Yeah, we decided we're

gonna give it to Tammy's school.

-Oh, that's good.

-Yeah.

-How much?

-Don't ask that.

-I can, can't I?

-No.

Two million.

-That Shabbat shalom school?

-Jane.

The one that makes you sell

challah bread.

-Oh, I love that bread.

-Sh*t.

-Give the money to Olivia.

-Jane.

You're a maid. You need money.

No, I don't. I'm fine.

-Who's--? You're working as a maid?

-You're a teacher.

Since when? Is that, like, hip now?

Cleaning houses?

What would be hip

about working as a maid?

I don't know, like the Zen,

so un-hip it's cool.

-Can we talk about something else?

-Nothing wrong with a maid.

Who cares what people think?

Our maids make really good money.

-Ours goes through our stuff.

-She does not.

I don't know. Stuff moves around.

Do you go through people's stuff?

-Like what?

-Like their drawers and sh*t.

No.

Good, because that would be

really f***ed up.

Excuse me. I'll be right back.

-He still smokes?

-He didn't quit.

-How can you stand it?

-Well, he doesn't make me smoke.

-Does it scare you?

-Or disgust you?

You know, there's a Tse sample sale

on next week if anyone wants to go.

-Tse what?

-Tse cashmere.

Can't afford that.

-Oh, fast.

-They wouldn't let me smoke out there.

They're so uptight.

Anyway, I'd like to make

a toast very much.

To Jane.

You're wonderful

and generous and talented...

-...and have always been there for me.

-Happy birthday.

I don't know what I'd do

without you guys.

I think about what my days would

be like without you as friends...

...and I would just wanna die.

-We love you.

-Happy birthday, sweetie.

What did you get her?

This.

-Good taste, Aaron.

-You like it?

He's so gay.

Every time we see them

you say that.

It's like a person's sitting there...

...with a tree growing out of his head,

and nobody says anything.

I don't know.

It seems like he loves her.

So tell me what you don't get

about SpongeBob.

-No.

-Come on.

-I'm giving you the opportunity.

-I'll pass.

Well, where else are they

gonna put their money?

I don't know. Hungry people. Us.

We've got money...

...and you know what?

We don't give it to hungry people.

Not that kind of money.

And, yes, we do give money away.

We gave away

a lot of money last year.

That's true.

But, you know, they probably do too.

-Jesus, poor Olivia.

-Why?

She's the only one not married.

-Yeah?

-Is a pothead. Is a maid.

She doesn't look unhappy,

so maybe....

Christine and David

have not had sex in almost a year.

Did you know that she has never

actually seen his a**hole?

-What?

-It's a fact.

-How is that actually possible?

-I don't know.

I guess if you didn't really

wanna see it, it could be avoided.

Oh, God, it is so sad.

Should we give Olivia money?

Oh, no. No, not again.

Well, I feel bad.

She's cleaning houses.

Well, it's her choice. I mean,

she could be doing something else.

I know, but....

Should we hire her?

To clean our hou--? Are you crazy?

Our house?

God, no.

I bet she'd get really stoned

and become a cleaning maniac.

-I bet she's really good.

-Yeah.

No, no, no. That's much worse

than giving her money.

No. No way.

Hello?

Hello?

I'm kind of sick of modern.

I swear to God, I feel like as soon

as we did it, everybody else did too.

You have good taste.

Or else I'm incredibly trendy.

I think it should be very minimalist.

-A minimalist family room?

-Yeah.

You know, just the necessities.

Beige, gray...

...maybe a shock of color somewhere,

like an orange lamp in the corner...

...or something like that, you know?

So all the cleaning supplies

are under the sink in the kitchen.

-Guess I'm pretty messy.

-No. That's okay.

I mean, that's what I'm here for.

This is the kitchen.

I don't have a dishwasher.

So can you come on Mondays?

Yeah. Mondays are good.

And how much do you charge?

Well, let's see.

About $65.

I was kind of hoping for 50.

I don't usually charge that little.

Right.

-Okay.

-Really?

Yeah.

All right. Thank you.

How much farther

up my ass can you get?

-F*** you!

-You're buying fruit!

Sad, sad, sad.

So this guy is showing me

his disgusting house...

...which clearly

he's self-conscious about.

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