From Justin to Kelly

[ Woman Singing ]

[ Country ]

[ Singing Continues ]

[ Ends ]

- Thank you.

- Whoo-hoo!

Thank you. Really, you're too kind.

[ Sighs ]

- Kel, you were on fire tonight.

- Thanks, Luke.

Look, why don't we go out and celebrate?

Get some steaks, maybe a couple of beers.

Luke, I appreciate that

you come to every show...

and sometimes don't pass out

till I'm offstage...

but I'm just not interested

in you romantically.

- I'm sorry.

- Well, not yet.

But just wait.

I'm like Hurricane Luke.

- Pretty soon I'm gonna blow you over.

- Okay.

Hey, guys, what are you doing here?

I thought you were flying to Florida tonight.

Our charter airline went bankrupt

and all the other flights were booked.

So you decided to give up your

spring break vacation to stay here?

Why don't you

just drive, Alexa?

Drive what? Daddy took my car, and my

wheeled suitcase doesn't have an engine.

But we do know someone

with a car, don't we, Kel?

Look, spring break is a total mob scene

and all the guys have one thing on their mind.

- I know. Why do you think I'm goin'?

- She already bought 23 bikinis.

- How did you swing that?

- When my daddy saw all the charges...

- I just told him my therapist's

name was Neiman Marcus.

- Come with us to Miami.

- We'll lose our entire deposit on the motel.

- It's just not my scene.

Oh. But this is?

Is it the beautiful decor

or the locals that attract you?

Definitely the locals.

What else are you gonna do

with your week off?

Just imagine relaxing

on a gorgeous beach.

Sippin' pina coladas

with your two best friends.

- And if you don't come--

- [ Together] We'll kill ya.

[ Luke Belches ]

Okay.

[ Woman Singing ]

[ Women Harmonizing ]

[ Ends ]

Dude, this year's

spring break is gonna rock.

I barely recovered

from last year.

Neither have the 400 women who were

running off at the mouth about you.

Listen, three clubs want us

to promote parties.

I've lined up exclusive use

of the hottest deejay, and to top it off...

I planned the ultimate event--

a whipped cream bikini contest

judged by none other than...

- the Pennsylvania posse.

- [ Laughs ]

- Yes! Yes. Thank you.

- Count me out.

I'm lactose intolerant. Besides, on this spring

break, there's only one woman on my mind.

Eddie, please tell me you're

not gonna spend the entire time

visiting your grandmother again.

No. I've been cyber-chatting

with this girl for like a year.

We're finally gonna meet on spring break.

She's so hot. You should see her web page.

It's really well designed.

You click on her head--

I can't imagine being with

the same girl for a whole year.

- You can't imagine being with

the same girl for a whole day.

- That's true.

But then I'm genetically incapable of

forming long-term relationships with women.

- Thank you.

- That's nothing to be proud of, Brandon.

You think I wanna

end up like you?

Unable to function in the real world

'cause you were dumped by some girl.

Stacy didn't dump me.

She's just been really busy.

- For over a year?

- You don't let your emotions

get anywhere near you.

You know what?

I like that.

So, what?

You don't feel anything?

- If someone stole my car, I'd be devastated.

- Definitely. Me too.

- I mean, girls.

-Just keep it simple-- dinner, chat, cab...

coffee, party, shower, cab.

Sometimes he likes to

mix and match.

Coffee in the shower?

That's-- Oh! Oh, okay.

- [ Kelly ] Whoo.! We're here.

- [ Alexa ] Finally.

Come on, Lex.

Hello! We can do that later.

Let's hit the beach.

- Okay, we're comin'.

- Come on!

- [ Hip-hop ]

- Y'all ready to party? Then make some noise.

All my girls,

are you with me?

All my fellas,

are you with me?

- Miami, are you with me?

- Hey yourself.

- East Coast, are you with me?

- Come on.

West Coast, are you with me?

Come on!

Are you with me?

Come on.! Are you with me?

[ Women Singing ]

Hi.

[ Continues ]

[ Singing ]

[ Singing ]

[ Singing ]

[ Singing ]

[ Singing ]

[ Singing ]

[ Women Continue ]

[ Crowd Cheering ]

[ Shouting ]

[ All Cheering ]

[ Ends ]

[ Cheering ]

Okay, guys, this is the game reserve.

We are the stag.

- Out there is the babe stag.

- The hind.

- What?

- Female stag, it's called the hind.

That's where the girls lose interest, man.

Too much detail.

It's really hard to believe

you don't have a girl.

Maybe I should go back to the hotel room.

What if Lizzie E-mails me?

Eddie, think of this as practice time

before you meet her.

Besides, relax. You just got here.

Check out the scene.

Besides, relax. You just got here.

Check out the scene.

- Yeah, work on your moves.

- I don't have any moves.

Take it from the masters. Dude, you wanna

pick up chicks, I'll give you the secret.

You want mad phone numbers

and make them beg you to keep it?

You'll be heart breakin', better yet,

heart bustin'. Just follow me and Justin.

- And here we go.

- And soon they'll be lustin' for you.

[ Rapping ]

[ Imitating Drum Machine ]

- [ Ends ]

- Oh, my!

- You doing anything later?

- [ Alexa ] Yeah.

- Tryin' to get that image out of my head.

- [ Girls Laughing ]

Identification, please.

I swear, Officer, I-I was experiencing

a temporary psychosis...

brought on by heat

and large crowds.

It's like this rare condition

known as posterior spasmodica.

- It's very dangerous if you let it go unchecked.

- Right.

Has anyone ever told you

you have beautiful eyes...

- Officer Cutler?

- Thanks.

- Let me give you my number.

- Cool.

[ Tears Ticket Off]

- See ya.

- Wait. This isn't your number.

This is a ticket!

Seventy-five bucks. Man!

- I think she likes you, buddy.

- Nah. Really?

She does have

beautiful eyes.

Dude, yeah, and you got

a real beautiful ticket. Come on.

[ Man ]

Pool closes at sundown.

There's no smoking, no drinking,

no loud music... and no girls.

You know, you remind me

of my mother.

She has bigger sideburns.

Thank you.

Have a nice day.

It's good to be home!

- This place is a dump.

- It beats last year, believe me.

Play our cards right,

we won't even spend a minute here.

You think they have

a high-speed Internet access?

We're not gonna be here long enough

to find out. Come on. Get ready.

- Oh!

- [ Chuckles ]

Shut up.

[ Indistinct Chattering ]

What about

those guys today?

- They were flaunting it.

- The guy with the curly hair was so cute.

- And he was totally checking you out.

- No, he wasn't.

- What's that?

- A BR&J invitation.

They only throw the hottest set

of parties on the East Coast, y'all.

I'm telling you,

these boys rule spring break.

Wow. The kings of getting

drunk and objectifying women.

- Where can I sign up?

- Well, I plan on getting in on the action.

No, Kaya, wear the orange bikini,

and, Kelly, please try and unclench...

and have a good time.

I don't clench.

I don't.

[ Whispering ]

I believe you.

That girl at the beach

was pretty hot, huh?

- Oh, yeah.

- You don't even know

which one I'm talking about.

- Who cares? They're all hot.

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