Front Cover

1

[brooding horn music]

[bells tolling]

[horn music continues]

[cheery string music]

[techno music rises]

[upbeat techno music]

[energetic techno music]

[shimmery techno music]

[window button clicking]

Driver, step on it.

Woman:
Ryan.

Oh, thank you.

Hey, Tim.

How are you?

Francesca here yet?

Oh, she can't come.

She had to go to the hospital.

What the f***?

Don't worry.

I'll take care of it.

Janet.

Good morning, sweetheart.

Morning.

You said vampire

on a ski slope, right?

It's not finished,

darling.

Still got to add

the blue highlights

to her cheekbones,

see?

No, it's just

too geisha-to-Gollum, sorry.

Bloody hell.

Let me see what else I've got.

Oh,

is Gudlaug ready yet?

She's trying on

the furs.

- Which one?

- Urn, let's see.

Yeah, we'll have her go

with this right here.

- Kay.

- Thank you.

Actually, hold on.

Janet,

can you cut this pattern

and put it

on her face like this?

And also on

the other side too?

[shrieking]

That looks like

an allergic reaction.

Oh, no. Oh, God.

Why didn't you tell us

you were allergic to fur?

It has never

happened before.

Oh, you think

she's enjoying this?

We are screwed.

Um, Tim,

let's change models.

No, no, no,

we're not changing anything.

The client wants her.

She's gonna wear the fur,

all right?

- No, no, don't.

- Just-just wear the fur.

You can't make her wear it.

Look, go see a doctor

immediately, okay?

Are you kidding?

She's not going anywhere.

But she might get

permanent scars.

This is my decision.

If she goes,

I'm gonna sue you and you.

I'll handle it, okay?

You go now, all right?

- Did you hear what I said?

- Yes, I did.

I'm f***ed.

I'm f***ed.

Are you all right?

I screwed up

the last shoot too.

My boss said

this is my last shot.

Gudlaug, darling,

could you be an angel?

Beautiful.

Haunting.

[camera shutter clicking]

Melancholic.

Did you see

the latest "Mais Oui" cover?

Mm-hmm.

Yours will definitely be

[camera shutter clicks]

[indistinct chatter]

- Oh, hey, Eddie.

- Hi, how was it?

Haunting, beautiful,

melancholic.

Super.

Oh, uh, Francesca

wants to talk to you.

It's got to be about

the "Mais Oui" cover.

All right.

The "Mais Oui" cover,

I'm going to give it to Eddie.

What?

But you promised rne

this issue.

Stop whining.

I've got something

better for you.

This is

a perfect match.

Here.

Who's this?

Qui See-yow Ning?

What?

Qui? Ki?

How do you say it?

I don't know.

Who is this?

He's an up-and-coming actor

in China.

Don't you know him?

So James is his PH,

and he said his film

is getting a lot of buzz

in the festival circuit,

and he needs a makeover

desperately,

as you can probably tell.

Well,

just give it to Eddie.

No, he only wants to work

with a Chinese person.

What? That's crazy.

You have no idea

how much he's paying us.

Now, that's crazy,

and it's all in cash.

[sad flute music]

The story is

very powerful.

This thing might actually

turn out to be huge.

Let's be realistic.

How big can

a Chinese movie get?

"Crouching Tiger?"

"Joy Luck Club?"

Yeah,

and what else?

"Kung Fu Panda!"

[laughter]

Come here, Missus.

[laughs]

Ah, excuse me.

I can't believe

she gave the cover to Eddie.

I didn't get it

because I'm Asian.

You'll get it one day.

Yeah, what if I don't?

I don't know,

maybe my parents are right.

In America, Chinese people

should only be doctors.

Believe rne, you would have

made a crappy doctor.

Yeah, well, at least

they'd be proud.

Come on, you're not sleeping

on the streets.

I'm almost 30, you know,

and-- and what

do I have to show for it?

Huh?

A bunch of designer clothes

and-- and a couple of spreads

in some B-level magazines?

Stop feeling sorry

for yourself.

You're hard-working,

you're talented and bitchy,

perfect for the fashion world.

No problem.

You got it.

Sure. Okay.

Good-bye.

He's waiting for you.

Pardon?

On.

H-h-he's waiting tor us

in the restaurant.

And why does he not want

to go to the Moxie Club?

Well, it's his first time

in America.

I guess he feels homesick.

Does he even speak English?

Perfectly.

His mother is a translator

tor the government.

And, um, how long

is he here for?

Well, he extended his trip

because the first stylist

didn't work out.

- Wait, I'm a replacement?

- Mm-hmm.

What happened with

the first one?

He said she didn't know

anything about Chinese culture.

It's a styling job,

not a history lesson.

Well.

Actually, driver,

stop here, please.

Thank you.

The restaurant

is just down this alley.

James, you got

to come with me.

He said he prefers

to meet you alone. My orders.

Well, who does he think

he is, Mao Zedong?

I-- God knows.

All right, let's go.

Oh, God.

[all speaking native language]

Hi, Mr. Qi?

Mm.

Oh, Lyan.

Yes, Ryan with an R.

I said the same thing.

Wan.

Sit.

You don't look Chinese.

Oh, why, thank you.

Yeah, some people think

I'm half-Caucasian.

[speaks native language]

American borrow Chinese.

[laughter]

Pardon me?

Like the pandas,

borrow from China, you.

[laughter]

[speaking native language]

[speaking native language]

[speaking native language]

My daughter's a big fan.

We should get a discount.

This should be free.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Eat.

Eat.

[dishes clattering]

[speaking native language]

[shells crunching]

What are you doing?

Washing off the grease.

[speaking native language]

He's weird.

Country bumpkin.

I can manage,

thank you.

[speaking native language]

So disrespectful.

No, you eat.

[laughs]

Look, Mr. Qi,

we're here to talk about

your styling, so let's just--

No, we meet

at my place tomorrow.

Why don't we just talk here?

We're Chinese, say eat,

no talk, sleep, no speak.

Now no work.

We enjoy eat.

[speaking native language]

[crunching]

[gentle music]

[gentle music]

[all speaking native language]

[tiles clattering]

[tiles clattering,

indistinct chatter faintly]

[doorbell rings]

[tiles clattering,

indistinct chatter]

Hey, Lyan.

[laughs]

Ly, Ly, Ly.

Hey, you want to play?

Uh, you know,

I didn't know

you guys were having a--

a party

or-- um,

I'll just come back next time.

No, no, don't worry them.

We-- we do now.

All right.

[sighs]

So what you have?

Okay, so since

this is your first shoot

and we're introducing you

to the U.S. public,

I, uh, think

something like that.

Hmm.

[speaking native language]

This makes you look old.

This looks like that TV actor.

What's his name?

[laughs]

Mr. Bean, huh?

[laughter]

[speaking native language]

I'll take that.

I'll take this.

You know, we could just meet

at my office tomorrow.

[clears throat]

I-- I can really just

come back another time.

I thought you want to get

to know one another,

play mah-jongg,

drink wine so we can be pengyou,

friends, eh?

I like working with pengyou.

Uh, yeah, no, of-of course.

It's just that, um, I'm not

a very social person, so.

We're both Chinese,

so should help each other.

[indistinct speech]

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