Fukrey Returns Page #2

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Everyone is afraid to get involved.

I have been cleaning toilets here

for a year now.

They make you clean toilets?

Listen to me,

you servant of the constitution.

Bribe the judges, charm the ministers

or call the damn Air Force.

Get me out of here within

twenty-four hours

or I'll give you fire and fury.

Fair enough, ma'am.

You've got nothing else

left to give anyway.

Your loyal henchmen...

They're surviving by working

in communal kitchens.

The Almighty's blessings...

The Almighty's blessings...

The Almighty's blessings...

The Almighty's blessings...

And look at me.

After the expenditure on this case

I can't even afford to buy

stamp papers worth 10 rupees.

How will I bribe the judge?

My charms alone won't be

enough, ma'am.

You'll have to suck it up

and work your charms.

Arrange a cell phone for me.

"Old McDonald had a farm"

"and on the farm he had a barn."

"From the barn he stole a bale"

"and then he had to go to jail."

"Then he had to eat in jail"

"and work in jail."

"He had to rot in jail."

It's Bholi.

Mr. Minister, forget your anger

and embrace Bholi again.

If only you'd been this

soft and sweet earlier, Bholi.

Then you wouldn't be

stuck cleaning toilets,

but representing my party in parliament.

Get down to my thighs now.

I need to relax those muscles.

Let me take care of that, Mr. Bhatia.

Just get me out of here.

Then you'll see

how I help you relax.

Are you planning to send me to

heaven already, Bholi?

Let terrorists worry about

going to heaven.

Let's us stay on earth.

Tell me then, how much will it be?

100 million in ten days.

I want new young girls every week.

And in return for this favor

I want a promise from you.

I want you to make me a promise

that I can call in whenever I please

and you will come to help me.

All right.

Superb. Pack your things.

You'll be released within

twenty-four hours.

Praise the Lord.

How's it going? You saw the photo?

Yes, but it's not clear,

I couldn't understand it.

Exactly. Choocha is like jazz music.

You can't understand it,

but you still love it.

- Okay, where do we meet?

- Hold on.

12 briefs, two blouses,

a pair of cargo pants...

Write it down. Four petticoats,

two vests...

Return the clothes on hangers.

Yes, pal.

It's Katty's call.

No way.

What is she saying?

She's asking me where to meet you.

Call her to the zoo.

The zoo?

Have you lost it, idiot?

I'm trying to set you up

and you want to take her to the zoo.

But, dude, it's my childhood dream

to take my girlfriend to the zoo

on our first date

and then go boating.

Dude, she'll run away.

Dude, if she can't

respect my emotions

let her run away.

Hello?

Listen, will you...

- Will you come to the zoo?

- The zoo?

Yes, you got a problem with that?

- No, I'll come.

- Okay then.

"We've washed each other's underwear."

"We've cried together when

girls broke our hearts."

"No matter what,

come rain or shine..."

"Nothing is above our friendship."

"You're my best friend, after all."

And then Uncle Nehru called

from the moon.

I said, "Yes? Choocha speaking."

So Uncle Nehru said,

"Mr. Choocha,"

the nation needs you.

The Chinese have attacked.

"Over and out."

The moment I put the phone down

my mom said that "Rajma Chawal" was ready.

But I told her,

"Mummy, first I'll save the nation,

then I'll eat Rajma Chawal".

Hey, you're not paying attention.

Here I am, telling you stories for free

and you're yawning.

Go back to your mother.

The story is over.

- Hey, Changu.

- Yes.

Doesn't the beef ban

apply to the tiger as well?

- If it doesn't, it will happen soon.

- I see.

Hello, Mummy.

I'll be done in half an hour.

Yes, listen.

I hope you haven't cooked dinner yet.

I'm bringing some mutton.

Yes, mutton trotters.

Okay, I've got to go.

Hey, that's too much.

- Is this much enough?

- Yes, that's enough for the tigress.

Put some here.

I think even that is too much.

Here, keep the rest.

Yes, give me the mutton trotters.

Hey, Choocha.

If his mother scratches your back,

you will have marks as

big as the map of China.

You can't do whatever you like

just because the zoo is closed.

Dude.

Katty.

Man, I'm weak in the knees already.

And you wanted to go on a date.

Wait here. I'll set it up for you.

Dude, people usually go to

movies on first dates or the mall.

You've called me here.

Yes, because you have

a very special date

with Choocha the Great.

And the adventures

you will have with him...

You'll soon find out.

Okay, so where is Choocha the Great?

There.

That's him, his teeth are

like that of a rabbit.

Him?

Hey, don't judge him by his face.

He's really sweet and adorable.

And he'll keep you entertained

with his wonderful stories.

Come, I'll introduce you.

Katty, he is Choocha.

Choocha, she is Katty.

You guys talk, I'll go get

a burger and patty.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- How are you?

- Nice.

So do you like the zoo?

Yes.

I feel very connected with the animals.

How cute.

Cute.

He's cute, right?

This is nothing.

I was once hanging out

with a hippopotamus, and...

Oh, wow.

Your nails are so big and pretty.

- Aren't they? Thanks.

- Yes.

You know, I'm suffering from prickly heat.

Please scratch my back

with your big and pretty nails.

- What?

- I'll scratch your back too if you like.

Please.

Then I'll tell you a secret.

Please.

Please.

Ah. Yes, that's the spot.

A bit to the left...

A bit to the left...

Right there.

A little lower...

Okay, so what is your secret?

I was saying don't get

too attached to me...

I won't be around for long.

What do you mean?

Hunny and I are planning to

join a foreign university.

Yale University.

Will you scratch a bit

under my T-shirt?

Idiot. Moron.

Stupid, imbecile, fool.

What do you think of yourself?

First, you brought me to this zoo

on a date,

then you made me scratch your back.

Yale University, my foot.

I feel like giving you a tight slap.

"You, the man from Punjab,

don't try to peep at girls."

"Your mother scolded me the other day."

"You, the man from Punjab..."

"You, the man from Punjab..."

Don't whistle.

They say whistling attracts snakes.

Okay, I won't whistle.

Tell us your dream so I can go.

You only care about the dream.

I just got slapped.

Be happy she only slapped you

and didn't scratch you to death.

That's not fair, man.

When you do it you're a stud,

but if I do it I'm a fool.

Dude, you just don't have the swag.

Not everybody can charm girls.

You're no expert

in charming girls either.

Just tell us about your dream, Choocha.

Yes, I will.

That's all I'm worth.

You just want to make money

off my dreams.

You don't love Choocha.

You only love Choocha's dreams.

You will get rid of me once

I tell you about my dreams...

Hey, what happened?

Are you okay?

Black cobra, Choocha.

- A black cobra bit your butt.

- I told you not to whistle.

Do something or the poison will spread.

Don't worry.

I won't let anything happen to you.

"You're my best friend, after all."

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