Full Court Miracle Page #2

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Mr. Simowitz Has Never

Played Basketball.

I Don't Think He's Ever

Worn A Pair Of Shorts.

Can You Hire Us A Real Coach?

Uh, Well, Your Mother

Chairs Our Board

Of Directors.

Have You Discussed This

With Her?

[Sighs]

She's Not Much Of

A Basketball Fan.

Heh Heh Heh.

It's Hopeless.

We're Hopeless.

With The Blessed One,

Nothing Is Ever

Hopeless.

So You'll

Get Us A Coach?

No.

But You Said--

Judah.

Judah Will

Get Us A Coach?

You Said Your Team Needs

A Judah Maccabee.

Right. So, When Is

This Supposed To Happen?

When Or Where Is Not

The Question.

The Question Is,

Will You Recognize This

Judah When You See Him?

What Do You Think

The Rabbi Meant?

How Should I Know?

He Meant That If You

Don't Want To Flunk,

You Should Be Studying

Your Biology.

Come On, Stick.

Maybe The Rabbi Meant,

When You're Really Up

Against It, God Gives

You What You Need.

You Know, Like

Sending An Angel

To Watch Over You.

Right Now, The Lions

Need A Coach,

Not Some Lousy Angel.

Think He Can Jam?

Whoa.

Wait.

Where You Going?

Alex...

Mind If I Rebound

For You?

What's He Doing?

Being A Schlots.

You Got Serious Game.

Where Do You Play?

Don't.

Ok, Uh,

Where Did You Play?

Must've Been Somewhere.

My Name's

Alex Schlotsky.

My Friends Call Me

Schlots.

What's Yours?

None Of Your Business.

Give Me The Ball, Kid.

Tell Me Your Name,

I'll Give You The Ball.

All Right. We'll Have

A Shoot-Out.

Anything But Dunks, Ok?

If I Miss First,

I'll Leave You Alone,

But If You Miss First,

You Gotta Tell Me

Your Name.

How About You Don't

Give Me The Ball,

And I Stuff You

Through That Hoop

Sideways?

Well, That Worked.

Except For

The Stuffing You

Through The Hoop

Sideways Part.

Hey, Come On!

I'm Only 14.

How Hard Can It Be?

Well, Guess You'll

Never Know His Name.

Virginia. Jm 165.

Stick:
Jm 165?

His License Plate.

It's A Specialty Plate.

University Of Virginia

Boosters.

So, We'll Check Men's

Basketball Rosters.

There He Is.

Lamont Carr.

Point Guard For

The Virginia Cavaliers.

So, How Come You Only

Get Bs In School?

It's A Matter

Of Passion, Mr. Stick.

Look At His Stats, Man.

You Thinking

What I'm Thinking?

Uh-Huh. That

Lamont Carr Is--

Is Judah Maccabee.

Yeah.

Wait. No. Man. What Are

You Talking About?

Lamont's Nickname

Was "The Hammer."

So Was Judah Maccabee's.

It's For His

Killer Dunks.

Judah Could Dunk?

Lamont, Idiot.

And This About

The License Plate.

Jm 165.

Jm--Judah's Initials.

And 165--The Year

The Maccabees Drove Out

The Invaders

And Reclaimed

The Temple.

Well, You're Forgetting

One Little Thing.

Judah's Been Dead

Almost 2,000 Years.

2,160.

Well, Judah Maccabee

Or Not,

I Think We Might

Have Our Angel.

Hey, Guys,

Hitting The Books?

Hi, Mom.

I Made You

Some Cookies.

[Alex And Stick Stammer]

We're--

I Can't--

After Supper.

Got It. Men At Work.

I'll Just Leave Them

Here, In Case You

Change Your Mind.

Last Time I Tried To Eat

One Of Your Mom's Cookies,

I Chipped A Tooth.

I Heard That,

Goldstein.

I Got A Violin Lesson.

And I Gotta Study

For An Algebra Quiz,

And So Do You.

Look, It'll Only

Take Half An Hour.

Forget It.

Look, If You Guys Don't

Want To See The Ghost

Of Judah Maccabee,

Suit Yourselves.

Ghost?

What Are You

Talking About?

Come With Me And Stick

If You Want To Find Out.

All Right. That's Enough.

You Boys Get Any Louder,

You'll Raise The Dead.

Alex And Stick

Already Have,

Mrs. Klein.

They Just Saw

The Ghost Of

Judah Maccabee.

I'm Surprised Mr. Schlotsky

Would Recognize Anybody

Who Wasn't

A Basketball Player.

Actually, He W--Ohh!

It Was Just A Figment

Of Our Overactive

Imagination.

Brought On By Too Much

Sugar And Video Games.

Right, Stick?

Of Course.

Let's, Uh, Let's Go.

No More Sugar For You,

Big Guy.

T.J.:
There Is

No Way That Is

Judah Maccabee.

I Mean, It Doesn't

Even Look Like Him.

You Know What Judah

Maccabee Looks Like?

Well, I'm Pretty

Sure He Wasn't 6'5",

African-American.

Joker:
Oh, I Know.

Why Don't We Ask Him?

Excuse Me, Tall Guy,

You Wouldn't Happen To Be

A Jewish Military Hero

Who, Uh, Started Hanukkah

And Has Been Dead

Over 2,000 Years?

Look, All That Matters

Is That When We Needed

A Coach,

This Really Amazing

Player Shows Up

At Our Very Park.

What Are The Odds?

I'm Gonna Go

Talk To Him, Ok?

You Guys Start Playing

And Try To Look...

Not Terrible.

Hey, It's Me Again.

Yo, Splot.

Schlots.

That's My Practicing Over There.

T.J., Joker, Stick,

And Big Ben.

My Sympathies.

You Know, We Haven't

Won A Game In 2 Years.

Really? Only 2 Years?

Well, We Got This Big

Tournament Coming Up.

Less Than A Month.

You Think You Can

Help Us Win?

Hey, Man,

We're Not That Bad.

Ok, We're That Bad, But

That's Why We Need You.

I Mean, Don't You

Believe In Helping

The Less Fortunate?

Best Help I Can

Find Them

A Different Hobby.

Look, You Don't

Have To Come To Any

Of Our Games,

Just, You Know,

Coach Us Here.

Look, Kid, Even If

I Wanted To, I Just--

Don't Have The Time.

I Say You Do.

Pardon Me?

I Checked You Out

On The Web.

You What?

Your Name's Lamont Carr.

You Played For The

University Of Virginia.

After Playing

For The Cavaliers,

You Went To

The Continental

Basketball Association,

Where You Played

For 5 Years.

Till You Wrecked

Your Knee And Had

To Have 3 Surgeries.

Knee's Better, Ok?

And I'm Here Waiting For

A Tryout With The Sixers.

Not Baby-Sit

A Bunch Of Kids.

Look, We Need A Coach,

Not A Baby-Sitter.

You're Just Waiting.

You Got Time

To Help Us Out.

You Know, You're Wasting

Your Time On Basketball.

You Should Be A Lawyer.

So, You'll Do It?

No.

I'm A Player.

Coach Is For Has-Beens

And Wannabes.

We Can Pay You.

How Much?

Only 20?

And 20 More After.

You Bought Yourself

An Hour, Not A Second More.

Tomorrow At 4:
00.

Where's Dad?

He Had To Leave Early.

He's Showing

The Bender Condo.

Again.

So...

You're Cooking?

Yeah.

I Wanted To Do

Something Special

For You.

I Know How Much

You Like Waffles.

Is This Because I Did

Something Bad?

Kidding. You Want

Something From Me?

Can't I Just Treat You

'Cause You're My Son,

And I Love You?

[Sighs] All Right.

There's This Program

At The Hospital.

Students Shadow Doctors

Around For A Week,

See How They Like

The Profession.

If You're Interested,

I Can Speak To One

Of My Colleagues.

Ohh.

There.

[Clicks Tongue]

[Clatters On Plate]

Ok, Here's The Deal:

You Promise

To Think It Over,

I'll Let You Cook

Your Own Breakfast.

Deal.

Yummy.

He's Not Coming.

Since He's A Ghost,

Maybe He's Already Here,

And We Just Can't See Him.

[Humming X-Files Theme]

[Blows Whistle]

Hey, Lamont,

You Made It.

Yeah, Judah.

Judah?

It's What We Jewish People

Call Our Great Athletes.

You Know, In Case

We Ever Have One.

Why You Guys Smiling?

Never Seen Guys Smile

Before They Ran 17-55s.

What Are 17-55s?

It's A Set Of 17 Wind Sprints

From Sideline To Sideline.

Unless Everyone Finishes

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