Full Metal Jacket Page #10

Adlibs.

COWBOY:

We shoot 'em full of holes and fill 'em full of

lead.

Adlibs of

"Yeah!" etc.

A big grunt, ANIMAL MOTHER, approaches JOKER.

Trouble.

ANIMAL MOTHER:

Are you a photographer?

JOKER:

No ...

I'm a combat correspondent.

ANIMAL MOTHER:

(smiles)

Oh, you seen much combat?

JOKER returns the smile.

JOKER:

Well, I've seen a little on TV.

The other marines laugh.

ANIMAL MOTHER:

You're a real comedian.

Some more laughs.

JOKER:

(pause)

Well, they call me the JOKER.

Adlibs.

"Oooooooooo!" and laughter.

ANIMAL MOTHER:

(moves

closer)

Well, I got a joke for you. I'm gonna tear you

a new

a**hole.

Adlibs, laughter.

JOKER:

(John. Wayne

voice)

Well, pilgrim ... only after you ... eat the

peanuts out

of my sh*t!

Loud laughs and shouts.

ANIMAL MOTHER:

(moves in close)

You talk the talk. Do you walk the walk?

Anticipatory adlibs of "Ooooh!" and "Whoooa!"

EIGHTBALL, a black

grunt, gets up and steps between

JOKER and ANIMAL MOTHER.

EIGHTBALL:

(to JOKER)

Now you might not believe it but

under fire

Animal Mother is one of the finest human

beings in

the world.

Laughter.

EIGHTBALL:

All he needs is

somebody to throw hand

grenades at him the rest of his life.

Laughter.

EIGHTBALL leads ANIMAL MOTHER away.

COWBOY:

(laughing)

Come on, sit down. Come on, new guy.

EIGHTBALL and

ANIMAL MOTHER sit down together.

ANIMAL MOTHER:

Hey,

jungle bunny. Thank God for the sickle

cell, huh?

EIGHTBALL:

Yeah, mother.

CRAZY EARL sits on the ground next to a

figure

sprawled in a chair.

CRAZY EARL:

Hey ...

photographer! You want to take a

good picture? Here, man ... take

this. This

... is my bro.

CRAZY EARL lifts the hat which has

been, covering

the man's face. We see he is a dead N.V.A. soldier.

Laughter.

CRAZY EARL:

This is his party. He's the guest

of honor.

Today ... is his birthday.

Adlibs:
"Happy Birthday,

zipperhead!" etc.

CRAZY EARL:

I will never forget this

day. The day I came

to Hue City and fought one million N.V.A.

gooks. I love the little Commie bastards, man,

I really do. These

enemy grunts are as hard

as slant-eyed drill instructors. These are

great days we're living, bros!'We are jolly

green giants, walking

the earth with guns.

These people we wasted here today ... are

the finest human beings we will ever know.

After we rotate back to

the world, we're gonna

miss not having anyone around that's worth

shooting.

69 EXT. A FIELD, OUTSKIRTS HUE CITY--DAY

COWBOY's platoon,

advancing towards the city in a

sweep formation behind tanks.

Cuts

of the squad, nervous and alert.

Mortar rounds explode ahead.

LIEUTENANT TOUCHDOWN is hit and goes down.

The platoon dives for

cover.

DOC JAY crawls to him and starts mouth-to-mouth.

SERGEANT:

MURPHY crawls up, has a look, moves to

the back of the tank and picks

up a field radio.

The platoon stays flat.

MURPHY:

Delta Six Actual, this is Murphy. Over. Delta

Six Actual, this is

Murphy. Over.

DELTA SIX:

(o.s.)

Delta Six.

MURPHY:

Delta Six, we are receiving incoming fire from

the

ville. The Lieutenant is down. We're going

to stop here and check

out what's in front of

us. Over.

CRAZY EARL, keeping low,

scrambles up to the

LUSTHOG SQUAD.

CRAZY EARL:

Okay.

Lusthog Squad, listen up! We're gonna

move up these two roads here

and check the

ville. I want the third team up this road here.

First and second fire team behind me up this

other road, okay?

Adlibs of "Right!" and "Okay!"

CRAZY EARL:

Let's go!

Let's get it done!

Bending low the squad moves out past the tanks,

leapfrogging toward some ruined buildings a couple

of hundred yards in

front of them.

HAND JOB peers cautiously around the corner of a

house and is killed instantly by a burst of

automatic fire.

ANIMAL:

MOTHER opens fire with his M-60 machine

gun at some windows where the

shots came from.

Everyone opens fire, blasting chunks out of the

building with a zillion rounds.

T.H.E. ROCK fires an M-79 grenade,

blowing out a

window.

RAFTERMAN photographs the action, his Nikon

violently shaking.

The fire slackens.

Then it gets quiet.

All

their senses alert, everyone watches the

building, listening hard.

They reload.

As CRAZY EARL reloads he spots six V.C. dashing

across

the street fifty yards away. They are out of

sight in a second.

Having missed his first chance, CRAZY EARL gets

set hoping for another.

Two more V.C. rush out into the open. He fires a

long burst from his

M-16 and they both go down.

CRAZY EARL turns to the squad with a big

grin.

Music:
"Surfin' Bird" by the Trashmen. This carries

over

through the next scene.

70 EXT. LOW WALL--DAY

The platoon are

hunched down behind a low wall.

Tanks fire at some distant buildings. A

three-man

TV crew, ducking low, moves past them, filming.

JOKER:

(John Wayne voice)

Is that you, John Wayne? Is

this me?

COWBOY:

Hey, start the cameras. This is

"Vietnam-the

Movie!"

EIGHTBALL:

Yeah, Joker can

be John Wayne. I'll be a

horse!

DONLON:

T.H.E. Rock

can be a rock!

T.H.E. ROCK

I'll be Ann-Margret!

DOC JAY:

Animal Mother can be a rabid buffalo!

CRAZY:

EARL:

I'll be General Custer!

RAFTERMAN:

Well,

who'll be the Indians?

ANIMAL MOTHER:

Hey, we'll let the

gooks play the Indians!

Laughter.

71 EXT. HUE CITY RUINS--DAY

The bodies of LIEUTENANT TOUCHDOWN and HAND

JOB laid out on ground

sheets. The LUSTHOG SQUAD

are gathered around them. The camera moves to

each man, pausing for them to speak.

T.H.E. ROCK

You're

going home now.

Camera move.

CRAZY EARL:

Semper fi.

Camera move.

DONLON:

We're mean marines, sir.

Camera

move.

EIGHTBALL:

Go easy, bros.

Camera move.

ANIMAL MOTHER:

Better you than me.

RAFTERMAN:

Well,

at least they died for a good cause.

ANIMAL MOTHER:

What

cause was that?

RAFTERMAN:

Freedom.

ANIMAL:

MOTHER:

Flush out your head gear, new guy. You think

we waste

gooks for freedom? This is a

slaughter. If I'm gonna get my balls

blown off

for a word ... my word is "poontang."

COWBOY:

Tough break for Hand Job. He was all set to

get shipped out on a

medical.

JOKER:

What was the matter with him?

COWBOY:

He was jerkin' off ten times a day.

EIGHTBALL:

It's no sh*t. At least ten times a day.

COWBOY:

Last

week he was sent down to Da Nang to

see the Navy head shrinker, and

the crazy

f***er starts jerking off in the waiting room.

Instant Section Eight. He was just waiting for

his papers to clear

division.

72 EXT. HUE CITY--VARIOUS PLACES--DAY

The television crew

interviews members of the

LUSTHOG SQUAD.

REPORTER:

You

ready?

CAMERAMAN:

Yeah.

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