Full of Grace Page #3

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They never understood it

in the first place.

Peter, please,

what do you say to this?

There was a beginning

to all this.

How did we get here?

How did this start

for each of us?

There was no plan for this.

Did he care about the law?

Did he care

about traditions?

Did he say that love

is the greatest law?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't have the answers.

I don't have the answers

for Pontus.

I don't have the answers

for Jerusalem.

And I...

I don't have answers

for any of us.

Peter, we love you.

We are brothers in this.

We will wait on you,

but we need you to lead us.

If we don't deal

with this now,

then anyone

with a charismatic smile

and carefully plotted out words

can distract their own crowds

for personal gain.

It will only be

the very beginning

to the troubles with our church.

How did this start

for each of us?

That is precisely

why he chose you.

We will wait on you.

There was a beginning

to all this.

- But we need you to lead us.

- I see him in her.

Peter, where did we lose you?

You must give us the answers.

Peter...

Do you still

speak with the Lord?

Mary, what are you

doing out of bed?

Sit, my son. Sit.

The bed won't save me.

My time is coming.

We didn't mean

to wake you.

Is it much the same heard

in Pontus these days?

In Pontus, in Jerusalem,

everywhere we go.

Now do you see?

We're lost.

Do you think the Lord

has left you?

Peter,

he has gone away

so we will find him.

He has gone away

so we will seek him.

I don't understand.

I remember him

as a boy in temple.

For three days,

my heart was broken,

for I thought I had

lost him forever.

It was as if I had lost

a piece of my own soul.

But when he was found,

he had been speaking amongst

scholars and rabbis.

He had not been lost.

He had gone

to his Father's house,

and he knew and expected me

to find him there.

Listen.

In the stillness,

in the silence,

he calls me once more

to his Father's house.

But where does he

call you?

Peter, when you

are still...

Where does he call you?

To the sea.

He calls me to the sea.

Master,

we have worked hard

all night,

and we haven't caught

anything,

but because you say so,

I will let down the nets.

Go away from me, Lord.

I am a sinful man.

Yes, Lord.

You know that I love you.

Lord, you know

that I love you.

Lord, you know all things.

You know that I love you.

You doubt yourself

these days, my son.

You ask yourself if you have

what it takes to lead the way.

The answer is no,

you do not.

But you are not leading,

are you?

You are following.

He has already gone

before you.

The path has already

been set.

Follow it.

Seek him in all things,

and failure

will be impossible.

Take it.

It's time.

I did not want you all

to go through the trouble

of being here

at this late hour.

But now,

seeing all your faces

has brought me

great joy.

Perhaps you will entertain

the little wisdom

I have to offer.

I have been remembering

the first moment

I encountered him.

I've been remembering

the first moment

I heard the angel's word.

Even after the angel

spoke to me,

I was deeply disturbed,

for how could this be?

But in my heart,

I had already heard

the answer.

Nothing is impossible

with God.

I remember feeling more alive

than I ever had before.

It was as if every day

before that day,

I had been living

in some sort of a half life.

I can still feel

the sun on my face

from that day...

The smell of the trees,

the dirt surrounding me.

The sound of the birds

still sings in my head.

Everything about the world

changed on that day.

I have remembered that day

every day.

The years have continued on.

But have you forgotten,

my children?

Have you forgotten

the first time

you felt his gaze?

Do you not keep that moment

in your heart?

Do you not treasure it

every day?

You cannot let

the weight of this world

outshine the light

that you carry within.

For nine month,

his heart beat with mine.

My own flesh and blood,

everything of him in me

and me in him.

You were not there

the night that he was born.

The whole world

for all eternity

was waiting for that moment.

Perhaps you do not believe

that he exists in you

in this same way.

When you said yes to Christ,

you brought him forth

in your heart into the world,

your heart beating with his

for eternity.

Do you think

your doubts and fears

are unique to you today?

They are not.

The question is not

whether we will struggle.

We will struggle greatly.

The question is,

to whom do we look to

in the struggle?

When he took the bread

into his hands,

giving himself

to all of humanity,

those hands

were worn-down hands

by splintered wood

day after day.

Those were the same hands

that feebly searched

for its mother's breast,

same as you all did

in the blindness

of your first days.

Those were the hands

that laid upon the sick

to heal,

that raised the dead.

He gave himself

from beginning to end,

through trampled dust

and scores of blood.

But remember this.

If our heart

beats with the Lord's,

then those same hands

are our hands.

That same flesh and blood

is our flesh and blood.

The suffering

that Christ suffered

is our suffering.

Oh, my children,

you know how much

I suffered.

When I fled to Egypt

with this tiny child

and Joseph,

do you know the sadness

that still occupies

till this very day

a corner of my heart

for all those children

that were killed

as Herod sought

to stop the prophecy?

Be thankful

you were not present

when the crying and laughter

of children went silent

and was replaced

by only the mournful wails

of heartbroken mothers.

We will suffer

as we walk with the Lord.

That is one thing

I know for sure.

My children,

you have already suffered

with him.

Do you remember

how your fears and doubts

were confirmed

when you saw him on the cross,

when you saw him die?

I saw myself die in that moment

with my son.

Do you understand

that from the moment

I looked upon his body

in that tiny cave

in Bethlehem

that I had been following

behind him

all the way to the end

marked with blood and death?

When the stone was rolled

in front of the tomb,

our world torn down

by confusion and doubts

so great,

you hid in the darkness,

longing for it to be

the end of your life...

We still had dust

on our sandals

and on our clothes

from the road

where they flung him down.

Angry shout of the crowd

flooded our ears.

We still had the smell of blood

in our nostrils,

pouring out of his head,

his feet, his hands.

And yet,

three days later,

Mary Magdalene,

inconsolable,

longing to see him once more,

found the empty tomb,

and all things were made new.

Never again

did the sun rise

in the same way.

Never again did you hear a song

with the same meaning.

Our eyes and ears

have been removed

and replaced by the sight

and hearing of the Lord.

That is the hope and life

we found in Christ risen.

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