Funny Games Page #5

The dumb suffer in unspectacular fashion.

We want to offer the audience something...

and show what we can do, right?

You can join in again now.

We were already

on first-name terms, right?

So, Anna,

now we're going to play:

"The Loving Wife", or...

Whether by knife or whether by gun

Losing your life can sometimes be fun.

Hey! No falling asleep!

You have to play with us,

or you'll be gagged again.

That's not very nice, is it?

So, here are the rules of the game:

Georgie senior has been counted out,

so it's his turn.

It'll be hard to change that.

Unless you want to take his place.

Do you want to?

I'm sure Fatty will understand.

Right, Fatty?

Don't call me Fatty.

- You see, he understands.

- Get this over with. That's enough.

That's enough?

You think that's enough?

What do you think, Anna?

Have you had enough?

Or do you want to play some more?

Don't reply anymore.

Let them do what they want. Please!

Then it'll be over quicker.

Huh, that's cowardly!

We're not up to feature film length yet.

Is that enough?

But you want a real ending,

with plausible plot development, don't you?

The bet is still on.

It can't be withdrawn unilaterally.

So:

the game is called: "The Loving Wife."

Although Beavis has done the counting,

she can choose...

who will be next. And...

using what implement!

Do we prefer the little knife?

Or the rifle?

Well then, what does the housewife say?

Hello, wakey, wakey!

So, you're not interested?

You don't want to play anymore.

Beavis, show her the game again.

Wait.

Here you are.

Hey, careful!

I almost cut myself.

Really?

You see. It's the little knife.

You can spare him that.

You only have to play with us.

I understand, Anna.

I understand, really!

It's not a good feeling,

causing the one you love to suffer.

But it costs so little to avoid all that.

You only need follow the rules,

and all will be well.

What must I do?

You see, it wasn't that difficult.

And we'll make it easy too.

You recite a prayer of your choice.

If you say it flawlessly, God will help you

and you choose what happens next.

Or shall we carry on with Georgie senior?

I don't know a prayer.

You don't know any prayers?

Not a single prayer?

Is that possible?

Tell her one, Fatty.

Stop calling me Fatty all the time.

I'll stop saying it. Well?

Oh Lord and Father, make me kind,

So I, in heaven, my place may find.

- That's too easy.

- I can't think of any others.

Okay.

Oh Lord and Father, make me kind,

So I, in heaven, my place may find.

No! Not like that!

It's a prayer.

You can't just drone on like that.

You're asking the Lord God for something.

So pray properly.

Go on.

Go down on your knees properly.

Go on! Get on with it!

There. That's right. Kneel down properly.

Put your hands together.

Not on your stomach.

Where is the one you pray to?

Up there!

You have to pray to the heavens!

That's it!

Right, and now, in a fervent tone,

if you don't mind.

- Beavis, can you help her a little?

- No!

Oh Lord and Father, make me kind,

So I, in heaven, my place may find.

Well done!

You did that well!

That was the trial run,

and now we're going for Olympic Gold:

If you can recite this prayer,

which is sadly much too short,

from back to front, without any mistakes,

you can not only choose

which of you kicks the bucket first,

but also, and no doubt

this will interest you more - how.

whether quick and painless by the bullet...

Careful!

Where's the remote?

Where's the f***ing remote control?

That was the trial run,

and now we're going for Olympic Gold:

If you can recite this prayer,

which is sadly much too short,

from back to front, without any mistakes,

you can not only choose

which of you kicks the bucket first,

but also, and no doubt

this will interest you more - how:

whether quick and painless by the bul -

You shouldn't have done that, Anna.

One doesn't break the rules.

Sorry. You've failed.

Say good-bye to Georgie.

Would you sit down?

Can you give me your gloves?

...only it's all inverted.

But of course all these predictions are wrong

so as to avoid a panic.

But now Kelvin knows how it really is...

and wants to warn his wife

and daughter in time.

But the problem is not only getting

from the world of antimatter to reality,

- but also to regain communication -

- Look!

Now that's a sporting attitude!

Hey, look out, fatso!

I thought you were a non-swimmer.

Go and get the widow.

She'll feel lonely otherwise.

Would you mind cooperating?

It's not easy.

Otherwise I might hurt you.

So. Where was I?

The communication problems

between matter and antimatter.

Exactly. As if you were in a black hole!

Gravitation is so strong that nothing

can escape it:
absolute silence.

- By the way, what's the time?

- What?

What's the time?

Just after eight.

Already?

Why?

The deadline was at 9:00.

She had almost an hour left!

Firstly,

it was too hard to sail like that,

- and secondly, I'm starting to get hungry.

- That's true.

...when Kelvin overcomes gravitation,

it turns out that one universe is real,

but the other is just a fiction.

How does that happen?

What do I know! It was a kind of

model projection in cyberspace.

And where is your hero now?

In reality or fiction?

His family is in reality

and he's in fiction.

- But the fiction is real, isn't it?

- How do you mean?

- Well, you see it in the film, right?

- Of course.

So, it's just as real as the reality

which you see likewise, right?

- Crap.

- Why?

Is anyone awake yet?

Who is it?

Good morning to you.

Sorry to disturb you so early,

but I've come from Anna's.

And?

Don't you remember me?

Yesterday afternoon, on the jetty.

I'm Paul.

Oh, yes.

- Good morning.

- Morning.

Anna sent me. We had guests arrive

unexpectedly this morning...

and she wonders if

you could spare her a few eggs?

I think so.

Come in.

Wait a minute.

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