Futurama: Into the Wild Green Yonder
You and I will be reborn
If everything our|Hindu brethren say is true
In an age of things that hover
You and I will still be lovers
And we'll say to ourselves
That was then and this is, too
Doo-doo-be-doo, doo-doo
'Cause we'll still find|the happening hot spots
We'll still cruise the cool casinos
You'll still fly me to the moon
Although the moon to which you fly me
Could be Phobos or Deimos
The psychic worms from Rigel nine
Who control everything we do
Will make us think that was then
And 3010 is exactly the same as 1962
Don't expect any changes, my friend
That was then and this is, too
Wow, Mars Vegas.|Long live the eternal city.
Two, one, zero!
Rest in hell, Crapville!
Out here in the desert,|we're gonna build bigger, better Vegas.
Bathtubs size of oceans,|hookers size of bouncers.
Hamburger!
Stand clear of the closing jaws.
Yo, you need any|girders bent, I know a guy.
So what's gonna|be over there, Dad?
That? That the oasis.
Future site of Oasis Hotel.
Take that,|you stupid Mother Nature.
Okay. Let's hit him hard.
This land is your land|This land is my land
Who are you noisy women?
I'm Frida Waterfall, leader of the|Greenorita Eco-Feminist Collective,
and we will not let you man-doze|this beautiful gyno-desert.
Well, I'm Leo Wong, and I say, "Boom. "
Hey, what happened to my femi-necklace?|And where's my mega-fem?
Is he badly hurt, Dr. Zoidberg?
I don't quite know how to say this.
Fry is dead!
Wait, not dead.|The other thing.
Damn eco-broads!
You can't even spray for eagles|without upsetting these kooks.
Now, hang on.|Before you do construction,
don't you have to make sure|you're not harming any native species?
You mean, cursory|environmental survey?
Already done! By top scientist.
Oh, my, yes.|You've got the go-ahead, Mr. Wong.
This place is deader than last year's cat.
No, it's not!
There's precious life|right here in this scum puddle.
Ah!
Cyprinodon martius.|The desert muck leech.
Amazingly, the entire species|lives in this one tiny stinkhole.
Killing these will be so much easier|than exterminating those ponies.
Wait a second.
Leeches may not be|cuddly like pandas or tribbles,
but these poor|endangered creatures deserve...
Get off me!
I'll get it with my trusty foot cups:|Stompy and Smashy.
No, don't kill it! We have to...
There. They're not endangered anymore.|They're extinct.
No, they're not. I saved this one.
And I'm gonna raise it and care for it,
so the world will|forever know what it's lost.
No. I killed it.|It was the last of its kind.
Mother.|Let go of me, you...
Poor thing.
Tell you what, Fry.|You all promise not to sue me,
I give you token for free|entry in poker tournament.
He took it, you all saw it!
Maybe we did, maybe we didn't.|What's in it for me, Bender?
Okay, okay. Come back|when New Vegas opens,
I give you all free rooms,
free dinner and|free tickets to Celine Dion.
Lose the Celine Dion tickets|and you got yourself a deal.
All right, damn it, done!
All right, I scored.
Look out, Vegas, I've got a system.
Oh.
I'm bankrupt.
You said it, Hermes.|He is pathetic, but lovable.
Yup. What? I said no such thing, man.
I am not acting weird, Leela.|Why is everyone talking at once?
Fry, calm down and stop braining.
Yeah, Fry, maybe you need...
You're right, Amy!|Maybe I do need some fresh air.
But not enough to stop|gambling for even a single second.
You win, damn it!
It's all in the wrist.
Voices always yelling.
Who said that? I'm not insane.|Stop it. Stop talking in me!
Voices bothering you, man?|I've been there.
You need one of these doodangs.
A foil hat?|Of course, he likes pastrami.
What about the dog's testicles?
Hey, it worked.|The voices stopped.
They've got a huge|selection of carburetors...
Hang on. Hang on.
That's better. My name's Hutch.
Hi, Hutch. So what's with the|obnoxious, shrieking voices?
Are my fillings picking up The View?
No, man. Truth is,|it's other people's thoughts.
You're a mind reader.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!|Although, actually, it was sort of obvious.
You don't believe me?|Take off the helmet.
- I believe you.|- Seriously, do it.
Testing, testing.|Do you read me?
Loud and clear.|- What?
I said, "Loud and clear. "
Only I said it with my|thinker, not my talker.
Whoa! Freaky.|Why can't I read your thoughts?
I don't know. Wait.|What's that about a secret society?
Never mind that. Just keep|the foil on and you'll be okay.
Also, it'll keep the Dark Ones|from incinerating your brain.
That's a plus.
And don't ever, ever, ever|tell anyone you can read minds,
or the Dark Ones|will get you like that.
Hang on, pizza grease.
Like that.
Jeez, get a load of|the batteries on her.
I'd like to get my clamps on those.
Give her a jump,|you know what I mean?
Whoa, whoa.
Show some decorum there,|Clamps. This ain't no strip show.
This is a beguiling display|of the pornographic arts.
Yo, Skip, I can see a guy's butt.
Oh, Michael, this is the perfect|end to a perfect honeymoon.
I love you so much.
- Is this seat taken?|- Actually, we...
So what part of|Podunk you rubes from?
The north-eastern.
Monsieurs et mademoiselles,
our circus of the senses now arrives|by steamboat in New Orleans, circa 2873.
The muted lament of a trombone|resonates through the fog,
which lingers even now, months|after the attack of the fog monster.
With but one hope of restoring|Gearoticus to his throne,
our sensual fate|rests in the gyrations of
Fanny.
Oh.
Yes?
I'm Bender. Let's do it.
Who is it, the Feds?
Aren't you the Donbot,|head of the Robot Mafia?
Allegedly.|And this is my beloved wife, Fanny,
whose honor I would|proudly defend with a power drill.
Well, I gotta go drown a stoolie.
I'm gonna be in here a while, so do|me a favor and drive my wife home.
It's one of them self-driving cars, so|just sit in the back and do whatever.
Oh, Bender,|your lips are intoxicating.
It's like kissing|an ashtray full of hot wings.
My God, I really can read minds.|I have a superpower!
There must be something|great I can do with this.
Hello, ladies,|I can read your thoughts.
Oh, wait, that's invisibility.
Poker. With my mind-reading|abilities and my invisibility...
Wait, no, just the mind reading.|I can't lose!
Sign me up for the tournament, please.
Okey-doke, Jiffy Pop.|Entry fee's 50,000 smackers.
50,000?
Drat, all I have is my life savings
and a token for free admission|to this poker tournament.
Close enough.
You're having an affair with|the head of the robot mafia's wife?
Yup, this is|her I'm making out with.
Bender, are you crazy?
No, it's Fry who's crazy in this one.
I'm not crazy.
You sure you're okay, Fry?
I mean, you do have|tin foil on your head.
So? You got a leech on your neck.
And speaking of sucking on your|neck, want to go to a movie later?
Hey, there!|How are you folks doing tonight?
Great. What are the specials?
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"Futurama: Into the Wild Green Yonder" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 2 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/futurama:_into_the_wild_green_yonder_8714>.
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