G.I. Joe: Retaliation Page #2

Synopsis: The G.I. Joe team is framed for crimes against the country by Zartan, disguised as the President, and Cobra Commander has all the world leaders under his influence, with their advanced warheads headed towards innocent populaces around the world. Outnumbered and outgunned, the surviving team members form a plan with their original leader, General Joseph Colton, to rescue the President and face off Cobra Commander, his accomplices and the world leaders.
Director(s): Jon M. Chu
Production: Paramount Pictures
  1 win & 11 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.8
Metacritic:
41
Rotten Tomatoes:
29%
PG-13
Year:
2013
110 min
$122,512,052
Website
2,153 Views


If he ain't here, he's got good reason.

PILOT:
Arch-Angel, go for drop.

Brother Block, as always,

would you mind leading us

in a few words, please, sir?

In the immortal words of Jay-Z,

(CHUCKLES)

"Whatever deity may guide my life,"

"dear Lord, don't let me die tonight."

"But if I shall, before I wake,"

"I accept my fate."

(MOUTHING)

Hell, yeah?

ALL:
Hell, yeah!

Hell, yeah.

Equipment check!

- Check!

- Check!

(ALL REPEATING)

- Check!

- Check!

- Check!

- Drive it like you stole it!

As your good friend,

you need a new catchphrase.

(CHUCKLES)

- Hoo-ah!

ALL:
- Hoo-ah!

JOE 1:
Alpha, Bravo, radio check.

JOE 2:
Copy.

(MAN SPEAKING IN

FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

JOE 1:
Go in ghost till first contact.

JOE 2:
Three and six on the floor.

JOE 1:
Copy that.

(MAN SPEAKING URDU)

DUKE:
Team two, expect heavy contact.

Bring the rain!

(MEN SHOUTING IN URDU)

JAYE:
Move out!

JOE 3:
Team three headed upstairs.

(MAN SHOUTING IN URDU)

(GRUNTS)

JOE 4:
East hallway, clear.

(GRUNTING)

(MAN SHOUTING)

ROADBLOCK:
Level 2 secure.

Moving to level 3.

(MEN SHOUTING IN URDU)

(PANTING)

DUKE:
- I owe you one, Mouse.

- Clear!

(MEN SHOUTING IN URDU)

(GRUNTING)

All right! I got eyes on the nuke!

Say again, I got eyes on the nuke!

(GRUNTING)

(MAN SHOUTING IN URDU)

But I'm taking heavy fire!

FLINT:
Sit tight! I'm taking a detour!

JAYE:
Negative, Flint!

Stick with the plan!

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(MEN SHOUTING IN URDU)

Tangos down!

DUKE:
Go, go, go!

(MEN CONTINUE SHOUTING IN URDU)

Flint, status!

(GROANING)

FLINT:
Fire now!

DUKE:
Weapons secured!

SHIPWRECK:
Equipment

pack-up on level four!

Set!

Clutch, station

the transport vehicle! Move!

JOE 1:
All teams,

rally to transpo, immediately.

Insurgents closing in, sir!

JOE 2:
Team two secure. No losses.

- Contact headquarters.

- I'm on that.

Mount up! Let's exfil.

SHIPWRECK:
Runway secure.

DUKE:
Let's mount up!

(GRUNTS)

(WHOOPS)

(MEN TALKING IN DISTINCTLY)

Nuke's disabled.

Long-range transportation

and wheels down at 1900 hours.

Home in time for Top Chef.

Good job, Tiny Tim.

All that Wii Combat Shooter

finally paying off, sir.

(LAUGHS) Bam!

- How you doing, sir?

- Good.

All Joes present and accounted for.

Sit rep?

SHIPWRECK:
Rendered safe

and ready for transport, sir.

Square this one away and go get a beer.

- Sounds good.

- Mmm-hmm.

DUKE:
Sir, the nukes have been

recovered and disabled.

All Joe missions successful.

Only minor injuries to report, sir.

Transport crews are prepping

the L.Z. for evac at 0200 hours.

CHAIRMAN:
Great job, Captain.

We're modifying

your extraction plan back here.

Sit tight.

JOE 1:
Let's go, Rivera, let's go.

ROADBLOCK:
Let me get this straight.

One whole weekend,

you looking after my little girls.

Yep, as long as I can bring this.

Look, I love your kids. I do.

But they live to terrorise me.

You trained them well.

And if you win?

You have to take your next promotion.

ROADBLOCK:
You pull a trigger,

I pull a trigger.

I don't know if I'm gonna trust

a pastry from a gumbo chef.

(C*CKS GUN)

Think about the wind.

Four knots? Left to right.

Humidity, I say, is about 62%.

You gonna feed me

the barometric pressure, too?

That's on the rise. Like your panties.

You love my panties.

That's an interesting choice of a joke.

Of all the things you could say...

- "You love my panties"?

- Are you gonna shut up?

- What does that mean?

- You gonna shut up?

- I'm looking out for you.

- I'm trying to do something.

- I just don't...

- Shut up, just shut up.

- I'm just saying.

- Just shut up.

(CLEARS THROAT)

How's your heart rate? (LAUGHS)

That is not gonna count.

I get to go again because you talked.

You pulled a trigger.

Now I pull a trigger.

(GRUNTING)

No, we're not doing that.

(SHUSHING)

- That is not gonna count.

Cheater.

I bought my little girls

a karaoke machine

and they love singing on it,

all night long.

There's no bedtime curfew,

so they're going to be up all night.

Make sure you bring your earplugs.

Boom!

- C'mon, best two out of three.

- No.

Best two out of three. That didn't count.

You didn't tell me

about the karaoke machine.

(WHISTLING TUNE)

Zandar.

Mr President.

Aren't you supposed to stop people

from shooting my dad?

Baldy.

Idiot.

Enough out of you, Lee Harvey.

Go clean up the chocolate stains

you left in your mother's bedroom.

(MEOWING)

Kitty likes to scratch.

(SIGHS) Next time,

take out his fat ass.

It would be my pleasure, sir.

I brought you some news.

The G.I. Joes are about to be

out of the picture.

And by "out of the picture," I mean

alive on earth.

Got a little too close to Mount Olympus.

Huh?

(WHISPERS) Had to strike them down.

They'll find you out, Zartan.

No. No, I don't think so.

That's the beauty of nanomites.

Here, take a look.

Hmm?

Flawless microtechnology.

You're insane.

Recess over. Sit him down.

You know, they say

this is a thankless job.

But yesterday I hung out with Bono.

My new Secret Service,

they want to burn the Constitution.

Literally.

And my interns...

Oh, yeah, I brought back the interns.

Mmm-mmm.

Do you know my favourite bit?

I get to blow stuff up.

Oh, I bet that endears you to the people.

Well, that's the thing.

Your approval ratings

climbed nine points.

Apparently, America wants

someone who looks like you,

but acts like me.

I'm the quicker blower-upper, baby.

Only one drawback.

The little wifey-pooh? (GASPS) Huh?

If you touch my family...

(LAUGHS) I'm yanking your chain.

Two long terms of you,

just a few short months of me.

So let's not waste the time I got left.

Where is the prison that holds

Cobra Commander and Destro?

Is this where I ask you,

what do you have planned?

Why does anyone want to be President?

Everybody wants to rule the world.

(RADIO CHATTER)

ANNOUNCER:
(ON PA) All squads,

gear up and clear the L.Z.

Prepare for extraction.

Extraction? What are we, teeth?

- Reach H.Q.?

- No, I got nothing.

- Go up high.

- Roger, Sarge.

Block.

All our men accounted for.

Not a single drop of blood.

- Boots to asses.

- Yes, sir.

Except for that...

Did you scrape your elbow?

- No, it's red sweat.

- Yup.

That better have been

on somebody's face.

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

Hey, Duke.

You see that?

Security's early.

JAYE:
Get down!

JOE 1:
Take cover!

Take cover!

JOE 2:
To your weapons! Let's go!

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

JOE 2:
On the ground! On the ground!

ROADBLOCK:
Mouse!

JOE 2:
Get 'em out of the L.Z.!

(JOE SCREAMS)

JOE 1:
Medic!

Go!

(GRUNTS)

(EARS RINGING)

Flint's down! Flint's down!

- I'm going for him!

ROADBLOCK:
- Go!

JOE 2:
Ten o'clock!

(GRUNTING)

Get down!

Troops in contact!

Request immediate air support!

I repeat, immediate air support!

(MEN SHOUTING)

You all right? Come on, we got to move!

Go, go, go!

JOE 3:
Help me!

You good? You hit?

Block, I got Flint. We got to get to cover!

Come on.

Incoming! Incoming! Go, go, go, go, go!

JAYE:
Duke, come in.

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Rhett Reese

Rhett Reese is an American film producer, television producer and screenwriter. As a screenwriter, his early credits included Clifford's Really Big Movie and Cruel Intentions 3. He has collaborated with Paul Wernick, writing the films Zombieland, G.I. Joe: Retaliation and Life, as well as Deadpool and its 2018 sequel Together they also created the reality series The Joe Schmo Show. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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